Innocently Minding My Own Business...

Tonight after a super busy day at work I sat down on my sofa with my delicious dinner (tuna and Triscuts--my life sucks...I don't even have bread) and thought that I'd watch a little TV while I ate. There is a reason why I NEVER watch live TV. That reason was made very apparent by the fact that I was just forced to watch a commercial for...drum roll...

Mall Cop.

I don't think I need to say anything else. I think I'm just going to sit here in the dark because I cannot stand the thought that I might be forced to watch that commercial again. I'm never watching live TV again. Ever.

Today, December 27th I went to the store and to my horror discovered that Valentine's Day shiz is for sale. I can't say anything else.

The Gift to Beat All Gifts

I'm so going to get in trouble for posting this but I can't help it...

My crazy Southern Grandmother sent Bob and Shauna a really special gift this year for Christmas. Bob opened his first...a pair of satin PJ pants--no top just bottoms. Shauna opened hers and it was the matching TOP! Yes, folks, my grandma gave my parents sex clothes! I thought my mom was going to die laughing and Steve kept chanting, "Stop talking about this"! Then, crazy Grandma called and I answered the phone:

Angie: Hey, Merry Christmas.
Crazy Grandma: Is this Angie or Shauna? You need to hear it in her awesome Louisiana accent.
Angie: It's Ang. So, tell me about the "Sex Clothes" you got for my parents.
Crazy Grandma: Giggle. Giggle. Giggle. I need to talk to your dad about that.

Ang gives phone to Bob.

Bob: Mom, is this gift supposed to kick off my 61st year or what?

I didn't hear the rest of the conversation. I think Steve started yelling again for us to stop talking about our parents having sex.

P.S. W, it would probably be best if you didn't share this little story with Arnie...

Christmas 2008

Christmas this year was actually delightful. It was great to spend time with my nephews and my siblings (most of them) and to just relax. I was much more spoiled than I needed to be and had a really great few days. Here are a few pictures of some of my favorite people...

Jordie (how cute is this kid)

Jaxon

Steve and most of his boys (Zack, Jaxon, Skyler, Jordie and Brayden)

Bob and Zack

Ang and Zack

Steve and Zack

Shauna

Steve and Becky

Jordie

P.S. If you can't tell...we all like Zack a lot. How could you not love that kid?

My Tree

Every year my work buys a tree at the Festival of Trees (fundraiser for Primary Children's Hospital) and this year they bought a very special tree. Not only was it so ridiculously pretty but it was so much fun--The Twilight Tree! It was black/white/silver/red (my favorites) and also came with gifts for all the characters in the Twilight Series. Some of the gifts were obvious--silver hairbrush and mirror for Rosalie and some super clever--The Host for Rene or a penguin for Edward. On Wednesday before we closed shop for Christmas Eve they gave away all the things on the tree and the actual tree itself. I only wanted the quilt on the bottom and unfortunately Robyn got it. I don't usually get jealous about these kinds of things. I can be happy for others but I'm still so envious and twisted with jealousy. Robyn could literally care less about the series and it would match my living room perfectly--oh, and its so pretty. Here are a couple of pictures from the tree and the gifts.

P.S. Did I say how much I wanted that quilt? I really really really wanted it. Really.
P.P.S. Thank you thank you thank you to Amie and Beth for making your husbands buy this tree. You guys are great!

Best Twisted Sister Ever!

My office does a Secret Santa activity in December and it is my favorite time of the year. It is so much fun to do secret and sometimes twisted things for someone else and it is even more fun to see what everyone else is doing for their person. This year I had the best best best time ever. I had a lot of fun doing things for Ellen but there is nothing to describe the feelings that I have had for the amazing person (Claudia) who had me. Each week was WAY over the top and WAY special and by the third week I actually burst into tears--I know I have issues. Claudia and the rest of her conspirators made this season so special for me and I loved every single second. Thanks so much!!! Below are the pictures capturing all of the fun!
I love having "Eddie's" picture attached to my office door but more than just having it there I truly loved seeing some of my co-workers and their reactions to it. For instance, how much fun is it to see the Karen literally drool and caress my poster? A lot.

This is the one that sent me over the edge. Every week the presentation was just as amazing as the gift and when I walked into my office and saw the beautiful jewelry I totally lost it. I wish I had used my real camera to capture it better but Sarah made the necklace and earrings and they are so very much me. I love them.

The final gift was the super soft fleece blanket...one side black, one side red. And yes, that is a black sheep...for me...the black sheep. Love. Love. Love.

11 More Months?

So, today during all the crap I got an E-mail from my BFF Mindy at LM Theatres asking if I wanted to "Pre-Book" my New Moon Party for November 20, 2009. She said that they were already getting calls and that she wanted to give me "first dibs". Frack...are you kidding me? Yeah, right...

Angie and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day...

Nothing really happened to make the title accurate but generally things were just kinda crappy today.

Tons and tons and tons of snow.
Stupid salesmen (more than one) at work.
Dumb client who called at least 10 times. He makes me want to drink a really big bottle of really bad stuff.
Huge client who was really late getting their shiz to me.
Missing Paislee's recital so that I could go to a meeting that started 45 minutes late. Totally could have gone to the recital if I had known the bloody meeting was going to be so late.
Needing to run errands in really crappy weather. Really only the freeway on and off ramps were bad.
Listening to my work neighbor complain about the snow for hours (5.5 hours) until I finally went out and scraped off her car and shoveled a path to her car so that she wouldn't fall. Note: super disappointed in a guy that I know who watched me shovel the snow and then had the audacity to ask to borrow my snow scraper so he could scrape his windows. Lame!
Having the girl at Paradise Bakery not only recognize me but know what I like to order. I realize that normal people enjoy this phenomenon and that it is considered good customer service. However, I hate it and now will need to get over my phobia so that I can eat at one of my favorite places.
Arguing with one of my friends and trying to be okay with it.
Having my boss ignore my request to leave early until it was WAY too late to get to Adi's recital.

Best thing ever...the thing that made all the rest go away...
Coming home to a package from Shauna with an advanced copy of a book from one of my favorite authors, opening it and seeing that she had it autographed for ME! I have the best friends ever and I totally and completely don't deserve it.

76 days

The spell has been broken. After 76 days I broke down and ate a Smart Cookie. Last week Kacee mentioned to me that the Peppermint Cookies were back for the holiday season and for the first time since September 19th, I heard the words "Smart Cookie" and didn't vomit in my mouth. So, Thursday night after class, Kacee, Steph and I went to Smart Cookie and I ATE ONE! It was so good and I've even been back one other time. The spell is broken. OHP no longer has power over me and my favorite treat. Yay!

Tonight on Jeopardy

College Athletics for $200:

In 2008 this team won its second BCS Championship in the 21st Century with a 38-24 victory over Ohio State...

No one knew the answer but here I am, the girl who HATES football with the passion of a thousand suns SCREAMING at the TV, "LSU, LSU, LSU!"

Shiz. What is wrong with the world when I know the answer to that question? I guess the fact that my family are huge LSU fans helps but still...

Rainbows and Bunnies

Quote of the Day:

Background info....Tuesday, December 9th 2 p.m. Sitting in Griffin Hill and Scott asks one of my colleagues:

Scottie: C...what "Case Study" would you like to talk about today?
C: Um...I don't really have one because my life is all rainbows and bunnies right now.

Oh, how much do I love her? Um...that would be a lot!

I Need...

I want a Kitchen Aid Mixer. I need a new vacuum. Hmmm. Want. Need. Want. Need.

I Want...

National Lampoon's Orem Vacation

Tuesday, December 2nd, 1:45 a.m. North Orem. As I was driving home from the airport I got a glimpse of what I truly feared was my house. I drove North chanting, "Please don't be my house, please don't be my house, please don't be my house..." until I got far enough to realize it was the house next to me. Phew!

Paper Planes

A few weeks ago I heard a song called Paper Planes by M.I.A. and I immediately fell in love with it. I've listened to it A LOT (even for me) and then the other day I heard it during Slumdog Millionaire and fell in love all over again.

P.S. Thanks, Cali. Love that song!

NYC Highlights and Lowlights

Lowlights:
*Having my phone stolen.
*Icky, nasty wind and rain on Sunday.
*Eating the worlds worst Thanksgiving dinner...so very much "School Lunch" and spending $30 for it.
*Missing Meredith.

Highlights:
Every single second of my time there.
*Getting my phone back.
*Magnolia Bakery--ohmygosh there are Magnolia's ALL over the place now. How happy was I to eat at Rock Center Magnolia and UWS Magnolia? Seriously, having a Magnolia and a Shake Shack in the same 10 block area is quite possibly the best thing in the WORLD!
*Lunch with Kendra and Ella at Sosa Borella.
*Getting a perfect manicure. Why isn't that possible here?
*Seeing Summers.
*Talking to Summers.
*Hanging out with Summers at my favorite place on earth (88th and Riverside).
*3 Broadway shows: All My Sons, In the Heights and 13. Fantastic!
*Shake Shack--yes, I'll admit, I ate there twice in 6 days.
*Literally walking/skipping/running ALL over New York City.
*Slumdog Millionaire.
*Subway Karma. Yes, it does actually happen and it happened to me a lot last weekend.
*Hanging out with The Cope's. So much fun. Agh...I miss you guys so much.
*Amy's Bread.
*Spice Fusion.
*Shopping at Bodegas. I've really truly missed it. Who would've thought?
*Seeing that Jimbo's Hambugers (that's how they spell it--for real) had WiFi.
*TKTS at South Street Seaport. Ahhhh, very few tourists.
*Mike's Bagels.
*Corner Cafe.
*Reading, reading, reading. Which translates to 'going to Borders and B&N every day' to get another book. I miss those days.
*Remembering where to find all the "good" bathrooms.
*Buying the cute, cute, cutest pair of earrings on the UWS.
*Listening to "the accent". I love me a good Long Island or Brooklyn accent. Makes me giddy just thinking about it.
*Good Enough to Eat.

Best 6 days ever. Loved my time there. Even riding the bloody subway to and from the airport. I'm proud to say that I took public transportation the entire time I was there--not one single cab. I used to love taking the bus from my neighborhood all the way downtown and on Thanksgiving that was my plan. Unfortunately, Mr. Had Too Much to Drink (particularly nasty since it was only 11 o'clock in the morning) wouldn't leave me alone so I had to get off the bus and walk from Bryant Park to Union Square which in the long run ended up being fantastic. I had truly forgotten how much I loved walking around New York. I walked as much as I could sometimes for hours and pretty much completed my goal of walking from 110th Street to Wall Street.

Ang.Alexis.Ella

Lexi and Ella are two of my favorite little people. They are both sweet and completely hilarious. Last Wednesday, Ella immediately latched on and became my friend. Lexi and I have been friends for a quite a while. Some of my favorite Lexisms including one day coming home on the train a couple of years ago and her telling us that "2 more stops is our house". Dude...how does a three year old know that? Also, evertime I think about Lexi I see and hear her running up my street on Halloween 2007 screaming, "Angie! Angie! Angie! I'm Belle!" I had been trying to beat them home so I could get their Halloween treat bags ready but instead we met on my stoop and I poured the candy into her bucket. I hadn't seen them for a year but the three of us had a blast: Reading books, talking (Ella...not so much) and playing with all their toys. Thanks for hanging out with me and letting me stay in your play room. Thanks, Matt and Kendra! You guys are the best. Miss you.

Thanksgiving Miracle

Saturday afternoon 1:57 p.m. 46th and Broadway. Rear Mezzanine. Row C. Seat 108.

Text to Kacee: Yay. Tell those I know 'hello'. In The Heights is going to start in a few minutes. The set looks exactly like my "hood". Exactly! Gotta run. Scrap lots! Miss you.

I reached down under my chair and put my phone into my bag.

3:20 p.m. 46th and Broadway. Rear Mezzanine. Row C. Seat 108. Intermission. I jump up, grab my bag and run down 66 steps to the bathroom. Can't find phone in bag. Go back upstairs. Cannot find phone. Those sitting next to me cannot find the phone.

Finish watching the play. Loved every single second but in the back of head really freaking out about the new iPhone that seemed to be missing.

5 p.m. Play is over. Me and several ushers, theater manager and patrons look for the phone. Exchange information with theater peeps and then dejected and pissed off I took the train back to 158 and St. Nick so I could figure out what to do next. On the way home, my iPod was playing "I Hate Everyone" by Get Set Go. Truly, is there a more appropriate song for that particular frame of mind? I'm gonna say, "no".

6 p.m. Matt and Kendra's apartment. Use computer to get number for T-Mobile. (Oh, and also E-mailed many friends to tell them what happened and to ask them to send a text to my phone begging the thief to give back the phone). Go outside and use pay phone to cancel phone. Get cut off. Go to next pay phone. Call again. Get card cancelled but get cut off before can order new one. Call again and order new sim card to be rush delivered to Orem address.

6:30 p.m. UWS dinner at Shake Shack and dessert at Magnolia. Yeah........nice! Think about calling and/or E-mailing various friends...reach into bag...oh yeah, no phone. Not so nice.

Sunday all day. Feel very alone. Cut off from everyone and totally at a loss for time. Was nearly late to everything all day/night and by late afternoon was not only feeling alone but also feeling very violated because of all the VERY personal E-mails and texts in the phone.

Sunday night. 9:30 p.m. Matt and Kendra's.

Kendra: Angie, did you talk to Shauna?
Angie: My mom?
Kendra: No, your friend, Shauna.
Angie: No, I don't have a phone.
Kendra: somehow she tracked down Matt and someone found your phone and turned it in. It is at the theater box office.

I still don't know the whole story and let's be honest...I don't care. Someone named Bianca found my phone, called the last person who I talked to (Shauna). Shauna somehow (this is the part I'm most interested in) found out where I was staying and tracked down Matt's number. Thank goodness for good people. People like Bianca who found a very expensive phone and turned it in so that this slightly cynical and truly pathetic former New Yorker can feel better about life and people and stuff.

Out.Of.Order

That's me. I feel as if I have an "Out of Order" sign on me and I can't get back "In Order". If it feels as if I'm crazier than normal then please just hang in there with me.

6 Days Off

6 Days off. Not in a year but in a ROW. Yes, it's true I get the next six days off of work. Up until this week the longest vacation I've had this year was a four day weekend in August. Six whole days of no work--the last time that happened was March 2007.

Hmmmm. I wonder what I will do....6 whole days.

Yay for me!

Six Days. Wow.

Poor Alex

I know I need to stop blogging today....I have a million things to do but I just have to do one more post...

Just finished re-watching Grey's because I fell asleep on Thursday night. Oh my goodness. Is Alex going to be okay when his second consecutive girlfriend gets locked up in a loony bin? I had just been thinking...Hmm...I don't hate Izzy as much as I normally do and then bam...the preview for next week. Believe me, I understand all about being broken and sad but really, dead boyfriend coming back to life. Really? November sweeps needs to be over.

Oh, Me -- Oh, My!

Every day I get an E-mail from this web site that notifies me of sales regarding clothing, shoes, bags, jewelry, etc. I love it and occasionally find a great blouse, pair of shoes, etc. However, on Thursday I FOUND the perfect skirt. The skirt that EVERY girl must have. The skirt that goes with everything and is totally in my price range.

Oh, my fracking heck...it was on sale for $1699 (shiz, it was $2798.00 so such a bargain, eh?). Yes, baby that is SIXTEEN HUNDRED DOLLARS! I'm totally getting it.

I'm Wondering...

The following is an actual E-mail conversation between me and a co-worker. She had been helping me come up with prizes for my big party next weekend. Um...how do you think Ms. Mindy at Larry Miller Theatres would feel about me bringing in that special prize? Would it even fit in my little Toyota? How do you think the un-suspecting Beehive or other random Soccer mom would feel about taking it home? These are the crazy things I think about because I'm so bored...

L: … if you tried googling “16th century 12ft tall hand-crafted wooden crucifix”. You know, just in case eBay has one for like $3.
A: Oh, I'm gonna. I heart you.
L: It is the sort of thing you might find at a yard sale between all the other Mormon handicrafts.

Unfortunately, eBay does not have one and yard sales creep me out. Maybe my carpenter brother can make me one...wish me luck!

OhHelpMeRhonda!

One of my colleagues shared with me the following from her brother who teaches middle school geography. Funny, yes. Horribly tragic in pondering about who will be the future leaders of America, YES!

I’m sitting here grading late work. One of the questions on my assignment was “Why are there large areas of uninhabited/zero population density in northern Africa?” The kids are using a map to answer this. On the map it shows that the Sahara Desert is in Northern Africa.

The answer I get from a student? Well, let me reproduce it for you WORD FOR BLESSED WORD:

Because that’s where many of the really poor and skinny people live that are always starving and dying cause they dont have anything there many people are dying there thats why.

Of course, I should have known we were in for a rocky start when this same student, in answer to the question, “What is the major economic use of land in Africa?” (again, using a map with bright colors for each economic land use type) wrote, “Asia!”

Complete with the exclamation point.

I swear to you, I’m making a sign to put on my wall that says “It’s not my fault you’re stupid.”

Better Than Bombay

Sheldon: I never eat in strange restaurants. One runs the risk of non-standard cutlery.
Ramona: Excuse me?
Leonard: Sheldon lives in fear of the three tine fork.
Sheldon: Three tines is not a fork. Three tines is a Trident. Forks are for eating. Tridents are for ruling the seven seas.

The other night my good friend and I decided to take a chance on a new restaurant. I do love trying new things but there is obviously still that fear--not the Sheldon fear of using a trident to eat with but the fear that the food will be bad and thus a waste of a perfectly good meal. Anyway, after much discussion about what kind of food to eat (Indian) we narrowed it down to two possibilities: one on Center Street in Provo and one on Freedom. Julia read the reviews and the one on Center had several reviews that said, "Even better than Bombay..."-- as if that could be true but we wanted to see if it was written by a true food snob like us or by someone who likes the Olive Garden. We went. We ate. We loved! The food was DELICIOUS! So so so so tasty and yes, folks, better than Bombay--cheaper, too! Here is a conversation that took place as we were both stuffing our faces:

Julia: Angie, this is a place where we could bring friends in from out-of-town and hold our heads high knowing that we have a GREAT place to eat.
Angie: A huh...(more vegetarian coconut kurma being shoved in my mouth).

Ahhhhhhh. I love new yummy food!

It's a Dead Man's Party....Who Could Ask For More?

Thanks to Kris and her incredibly awesome costume I had something fun to wear for Halloween! I was Cleopatra Queen of the Nile (or Denial--whichever you prefer) and as I said last week--Halloween is a pretty big deal at my work and there were lots of great costumes: Ironman, Pig with Lipstick, Cinderella, Fairy Princess, Pink Flamingo, Medieval chic, Mario, Rafael, a couple Vampiresses (is that right?), a Witch Woman, and my favorite: Michael Jackson from the Beat It album. Also, I got a visit from my favorite little person--Zack the Monkey. Zack wasn't so sure about the Trick-o-Treating but he had lots of fun and was sweet as pie telling everyone "thank you" and "candy". He also now can sign "I Love You" which broke my nearly healed heart. I *heart* Halloween!

Fall?

I love fall but this one is killing me. Yesterday: 72 degrees with a beautiful clear sky. Today: 45 degrees and raining cats, dogs, and other random house pets. Ugh!

Planet of Regret

Sometimes reality bites and so to celebrate the last day of October 2008 here are a few of my favorite quotes from one of my favorite films:

Troy: You been up all night? I’m picking up some very strange vibes. Some of the ‘I just got laid variety’.
Lalaina: Agh
Troy: Did he dazzle you with his extensive knowledge of mineral water or was it his in depth analysis of Marky Mark that finally reeled you in? I would have just liked to have been there to watch how you rationalized sleeping with a yuppy head cheese ball on the first date.
Lalaina: He’s not a yuppy.
Troy: He’s the reason why Cliff’s Notes were invented.
Lalaina: Wow! That pales in comparison to the tweaked out little skanks that you date.

Lalaina: I’ve never been so glad to see someone in my entire life. This day has been the biggest nightmare. These job interviews, the word vivisection, a staggering understatement. Can you define irony?
Troy: It’s when the actual meaning is the complete opposite of the literal meaning.
Lalaina: Where were you when I needed you today?

Vickie: I’m just beating them to the punch.
Lalaina: Okay.
Vickie: You don’t even know. I’m sitting here, maybe, probably dying of AIDS and I’m totally alone.
Lalaina: Vickie…you’re not alone. I’m sorry for everything I said. And I’m sorry for being such a bitch but I have to tell you you’re not alone and you are not dying of AIDS.
Vickie: You don’t understand. Everyday, all day it is all I think about, okay. Every time I sneeze it’s like I’m four sneezes away from the hospice. And it’s not even like it’s happening to me. It’s like I’m watching it on some crappy show like Melrose Place and I’m the new character and I’m the new HIV AIDS character and I live in the building and I teach everyone that it’s okay to be near me. It’s okay to talk to me. And then I die and there’s everybody at my funeral wearing halter tops and chokers and stuff.
Lalaina: Vickie, stop. Just stop. You’re freaking out. And you know what, you’re going to have to deal with the results whatever they are. We will have to deal with it, just like we’ve dealt with everything else.
Vickie: It’s not like everything else.
Lalaina: I know, alright, but it’s going to be okay, you know. I know it’s going to be okay. And Melrose Place is a really good show.

Michael: You look beautiful…you look…
Troy: Like a doily.
Lalaina: I’m going to change.
Michael: No, don’t change.
Troy: And don’t go thinking for yourself either, L.
Michael: Hey, what is your glitch?
Troy: My glitch?
Lalaina: You know what…we’re already late…
Michael: Do you have a problem with me or something? Let’s just get this out. Have I like stepped over a line in the sands of coolness with you? Excuse me if someone doesn’t know the secret handshake with you.
Troy: There’s no secret handshake. There’s an IQ pre-requisite but there’s no secret handshake.

Troy: You don’t know what she needs.
Michael: I know what she needs in a way that you will never know.

Lalaina: I just don't undertand why things can't go baack to normal at the end of the hour like on the Brady Bunch.
Troy: Well, because Mr. Brady died of AIDS. Things just don't work out like that.
Lalaina: I was really going to be something by the age of 23.
Troy: The only thing you have to be by the age of 23 is yourself.
Lalaina: I don't know who that is anymore.
Troy: Well, I do. And we all love her. I love her. She breaks my heart again and again. But I love her.

I've saved the best for last:

Troy: I have this planet of regret sitting on my shoulders. And you have no idea how much I wish I could go back to that morning after we made love and do everything differently. But I know that I can't so I thought that I would come here and tell you something and what I wanted to tell you was that I love you. And I just wanted to make sure that it was clear so that there wasn't any confusion. So anyway...where are you going?
Lalaina: To look for you. I wanted to see if you were okay.

Best apology ever! Great music! Good times!

My Little Boys

Last night I did a photo shoot for Adri's ENTIRE family. The sun was off and it was incredibly difficult to get 16 people (7 of which are under the age of 11) to cooperate but for the most part it went well. Here's a couple pics of some of my favorite kids. Could those little boys be any cuter? Um...NO!

P.S. I do better work indoors where I have control over the light!

Saw V

Will someone pretty please go see Saw V with me?

Please?

Oops I Did It Again...

If I could just come to terms with the fact that I'm dumb then I'd be so much further ahead of the game--I'd also be a lot less surprised of my stoopidness, eh? However, I continue to amaze myself with all the silly things I do and so here is a re-cap of my latest forays into early dementia:

Exhibit A: I bought tickets to the movie on Fandango as I DO nearly every weekend. I even printed the confirmation page and put it in my purse. Then, I met my friend at the theater and pulled the paper out of my bag to get the tickets. Apparently, I didn't print the right one...for some reason I grabbed the one sheet w/o the confirmation number. No worries, I swiped my credit card and received the message, "There are no tickets saved with this card". I swiped again and received the same message. No worries...I pulled out my handy dandy phone with E-mail so I could get the confirmation number but there wasn't Wi-Fi at the theater so that didn't work. I finally reached the end of my frustration rope and bought two more tickets. As soon as I sat down in my seat I realized that Fandango has my debit card saved in its system NOT my credit card. So, basically I paid $35 to see a movie I had no desire to see. Oy!

Exhibit B: Just got a message from Netflix telling me that they were sending Brothers and Sisters, Season 2 disc 4. WHY, OH WHY can't I take five minutes to update Netflix so that they stop sending me stuff I have seen? Oy vey. I just made a promise to myself to update Netflix as soon as I finish this post.

Exhibit C: Needed a book. Was dying for a new book. Went to Borders looking for a book. Looked at The Glass Castle which many people have told me is fantastic but it looked a little too tragic for my current frame of mind so I left it on the shelf and picked up a Jodi Picoult. Apparently, My Sister's Keeper was NOT the first Jodi Picoult that I'd ever read. I read The Pact years ago and am now reading it again. Oh, and what's more depressing and/or tragic than a book about two teenagers who make a pact to kill themselves? Why didn't I listen to Kendra and the dozen other people who told me to buy the other book? I'm so sick and tired of re-buying the same books. Amen to my own Oy.

Exhibit D: It's impossible to "run into the office for five minutes" on my day off. Five minutes can and does so easily turn into two hours. No more. No more. No more!

Freaking Fracking Finger

My right index finger has had a rough month. It has spent most of the last 30 days in some form of Band-Aid or covered in cream. Here is a re-cap of the Finger Chronicles:

1. Cut it on a piece of glass. Bled for a long time. Angi saved me with a Band-Aid from the "Mom Bag" but I bled through that in a moment. Eventually the flow stopped but I now have a super sexy scar to remind me of the glass.

2. When "cleaning a spill from the oven" I burned the same finger on the heating element. Note to EVERYONE: do NOT put your hands in a hot oven--they will not come out the same. I burned myself on a Sunday and on Tuesday a chunk of my finger "fell off". I battled a slight infection but thanks to Robyn's antibiotic stuff it is now nearly healed and I have a second sexy scar to remind me of the Peach pie.

3. Last night when opening a can of corn for my dinner salad I REALLY cut my finger! I stood in the kitchen trying to apply pressure while blood pulsed everywhere wondering if I should call Katie for advice about length of time to wait before going to the ER. As this incident was just last night I don't have a scar yet but I'm betting it is going to be H-O-T.

Maybe next week I can have my finger amputated.

The Office

There are no words to describe how much I love The Office. Here are some of my favorite quotes from tonight...

Dwight: She introduced me to so many things: pasteurized milk, sheets, Monotheism, presents on your birthday, preventative medicines.
Phyllis: It’s nice to learn new things.
Dwight: I’m just talking to myself.
Phyllis: Okay.
Dwight: I just don’t get it.
Phyllis: What don’t you get?
Dwight: Why is she marrying Andy?
Phyllis: Angela is not really a risk taker and Andy is not really a risk.
Dwight: (welling up with tears) That’s really fattening.
Phyllis: No, it’s just lettuce.

Oscar: They stole my laptop
Kevin: Well, they stole my surge protector.
Oscar: How does that even compare?
Kevin: Oscar, I’m now going to be prone to surges.

Michael: So much for sex without consequences.

Creed: Nobody steals from Creed Bratton and gets away with it. The last person who did this disappeared. His name: Creed Bratton.

Michael: To recoup their losses I’m planning a little charity auction where people from all over Scranton can come and bid on our goods and services. I’m calling it Crime Aid. That’s like Farm Aid but instead of Farms fighting against AIDS it is us fighting against our own poverty.

Michael: Welcome to C.R.I.M.E. A.I.D: Crime Reduces Innocence Makes Everyone Angry I Declare. It is not known how many office robberies occur every second because there is no Wikipedia entry for office robbery statistics. However, tonight it's victims are standing together and standing strong in the form of Song, Cooking Lessons and Hugs. Really, Phyllis, you're auctioning a hug?

Darrell: Mike gave me a list of his top 10 Springsteen songs. Three of them were Huey Lewis and the News, one was Tracy Chapman's Fast Car, and my personal favorite, Short People.

The Good Egg Awards 2008

It is time once again for the "Best Husband" list as compiled by "The Single Girl". I feel as if I'm a pretty good judge of character and I certainly spend a great deal of time listening to people complain about and/or compliment their husbands so I know what is good and what is um...not so good. Here is my list for 2008 in no particular order:

Matt C.
Mike B.
Paul D.
Aaron L.
Robb B.

I have not seen Matty in nearly a year but I stay caught up on the blog so I can say with confidence that he's just as fantastic as ever. How much better could it get? Best home teacher, awesome taste in music, closet Buffy fan, etc. I've had little or no association with Robb in ages but I know he's a good egg so he will always make the list. As Mel and I have often been heard saying, "Robb has ruined all guys for us." Paulie...what can I say? You are the best brother-in-law in the world and who knew that this city girl could be so impressed with a Wyoming Cowboy? I know you'd even slay dragons for me if I asked. The other Michael Scott -- super husband, hilarious dad, fun friend -- with a super power to get ANYONE to tell you ANYTHING. Oy Vey. I'm just getting to know Aaron but I adore him. I met his parents last weekend at a wedding and when his wife introduced me she said, "Angie loves Aaron" -- which is true. He's definitely a good egg. All of you are.

Costume Ideas?

I love Halloween. I love candy, parties, costumes, and all kinds of fun. Halloween is kind of a big deal at my work and I need an idea for a great costume. Here are a few of the things I've done in the past:

Marge Simpson - this was a GREAT costume. The hair, the eyes, the face. Pure fabulousness.
Statue of Liberty
Geisha
Rick Scott - this was BRILLIANT on my part and incredibly creative. Did I win that year? I think so.
Indian Princess - from India. Awesome costume thanks to Sheridan's authentic outfit and my fabulous long black wig.

Any ideas would be greatly appreciated.

P.S. I should probably add that for the last two months I've been dressing up every day as the Actress Formerly Known as Angie and I'm tired of that costume. I need a new one for next Friday.

I *Heart* Edward

Last year I got a fabulous little gift in the mail: "Ang *heart* Ed" keychain. I love it. When I lived in New York I had my work keys on the ring and at least once a week my boss would BEG me to tell her who "Ed" was. I never admitted that he was a fictional character from my one of my favorite books. I never confessed. I never gave in. However, now that I'm completely confident in my "Edward Lovingness" and the fact that I rented a theater for me and 186 of my best friends to see the movie I feel as if I should stand up on the roof top and shout, "ANG LOVES ED"!

30 more days, baby!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XarVOd85qC4&eurl=http://twilightnovelnovice.com/

I NEED a New Book

I need a new book. Other than Hunger Games (which I LOVED) I haven't read anything new in ages. I've re-read a bunch of Harlan and just finished re-reading Time Traveller's Wife. I'm kinda in rut but really I just need a good recommendation. Help...please.

Today

Stuff I want to do today:

*12 hours of church.
*drive through Provo.
*read a couple chapters of The Robe.
*listen to John Tesch sing his latest hit.
*watch Nights of Rodanthe, Beverly Hills Chihuahua, and High School Musical.
*shop at Cabela's for camping equipment.
*listen to Rachel Ray talk about anything.
*eat at Chili's.


What I really did today:

*Nap
*catch up on DVR.
*make some fantastic jewelry.
*re-read my favorite book.
*listen to the kid upstairs play Called to Serve on the piano -- at least a zillion times.


P.S. In case you don't know me at all I would never voluntarily do any of those things in the first list. I'm hungry and when I get hungry I get crabby and there is nothing to eat in this town today except for fast food.

What Goes Around

Tonight when I got home I found the most delightful surprise in my mailbox. Usually there are just bills or an occasional Netflix treat but tonight there was the cutest little card from my friend Kimmie and two awesome mix CD's! Is there anything better than a mix tape (sorry, I'm old school...it will always be 'tape')? How many times can a girl listen to JT sing, "What Goes Around..."? Both CD's are lovingly filled with Awesome Angry Girl Music and actually a lot of it is new for me. The note said, "I'll admit, I got a little carried away, but my partners-in-crime and I couldn't cut any of the songs I've included so we just made two discs."

There is also an extra special song on disc 1 that I don't think I'm allowed to admit that I have -- I'm so excited! In one month and five days most of the rest of you can hear it with me at a special party that I'm hosting. You know...the one at the movie theater!

I love you, Kim, Shawn and Mallory!

It's Bbbbbbbbbbbbback!

My filter is back from the shop. It's been cleaned out and repaired and re-inserted into my brain. How do I know this? Because earlier this week when someone was telling me off in that super special bishop-kind-of-a-way that he uses, I didn't tell him to go to hell like I would have last week. After he finished I did slam my door and burst into tears but thankfully I stayed calm until I was in a safe place.

The Olive Garden, Really?

Speaking of food -- pretty much that phrase applies to nearly every second of my existence --

Can someone ANYONE please tell me what the fascination is with The Olive Garden? A new one opened in American Fork and tonight when I drove past it there was a HUGE line of people waiting to EAT there. Why is this? And if anyone says anything about the salad I will blow my top. The bloody salad is a bunch of lettuce with a wedge of tomato for all to share with some kind-of-okay Italian dressing. Nothing sppppppppppecial. Maybe 'short bus' special but not real special.

Olive Garden...really? REALLY?

41 More Days

Shake Shack
Amy's Bread
Sosa Borella
Billie's
Cafe Lalo
Good Enough to Eat
Land Thai Kitchen
A Salt and Battery
Magnolia UWS (Yay, Meredith) and the original in the Village
Kelly and Ping
Chat and Chew

What do these things have in common? Me in 41 More days!!!!!

m.i. Dubb a.k.a. My Brother the Wrapper

My baby brother Steve is an incredibly talented rapper. His lyrics are sometimes hard to hear but only because I know he's talking from experience and from his heart which makes me sad but it also makes it so much more real and so powerful. I've enjoyed watching him grow as a person and as an artist. He's so dedicated and spends every dime he makes buying beats and studio time and he's always composing lyrics. He's absolutely amazing. I think I can safely say that I'm not a "fan of the Rap" but I love Steve's music and occasionally even I get "giggy wid it". As Adri our sister-in-law said, "Steve, I really wanted to hate it but I love it...it's so good." His FIRST concert is this weekend at The Hookah Club in SLC and I'm so excited for him. I'm also a lot nervous for him but I can't wait to see my baby brother in his element doing his "thang". He's my hero right now and I'm so happy for him. I'll have pics this weekend to post. Go STEVE!

The Big Read

"The Big Read reckons that the average adult has only read 6 of the top 100 books they’ve printed."1) Look at the list and bold those you have read--I bolded and changed the font so you could actually see what I've read. 2) Italicize those you intend to read. 3) Underline the books you love. 4) Strike out the books you have no intention of ever reading, or were forced to read at school and hated. 5) Reprint this list in your own blog
1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien
3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
4 The Harry Potter Series - JK Rowling
5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
6 The Bible
7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell
9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott
12 Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
14 Complete Works of Shakespeare
15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien
17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulks
18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger
19 The Time Traveller’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20 Middlemarch - George Eliot
21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald
23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens
24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
25 The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
26 Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll
30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis
34 Emma - Jane Austen
35 Persuasion - Jane Austen
36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis
37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
40 Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne
41 Animal Farm - George Orwell
42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44 A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving
45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery
47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
48 The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood
49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding
50 Atonement - Ian McEwan
51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel
52 Dune - Frank Herbert
53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
68 Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding
69 Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie
70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville
71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
72 Dracula - Bram Stoker
73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett
74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75 Ulysses - James Joyce
76 The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78 Germinal - Emile Zola
79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
80 Possession - AS Byatt
81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker
84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
87 Charlotte’s Web - EB White
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery
93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94 Watership Down - Richard Adams
95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl
100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo

Hmmm. So I had 33. Not fantastic but a hell-a better than 6. I want to read more and more and more. I also must admit before Red Head Chrissy outs me: I hate hate hate Pride and Predjudice. I know it makes me the Anti-girl but I am who I am.

dumb dumb dumb

I'm sitting here in my living room right at this second LAUGHING at the idiots on Amazing Race. They are in Brazil and keep speaking Spanish to the support staff in the Race. I get that Spanish is similar to Portuguese but I don't think these people know the difference. OhhelpmeRhonda!

This Week in the News

From the SNL Thursday special:

O.J. Simpson broke up with his long time girlfriend...not O.J. "broke-up" but broke-up broke-up.

Which leads me to -- Would you rather date O.J. Simpson or Jessica Simpson?

I'm thinking O.J. as I may become homicidal if forced to spend time with Jessica.

Sugar Wars

My sugar consumption was out-of-control! Other than not being able to eat my precious cookies I'd been eating everything else in sight and having no ability or desire to stop. So, last Monday I took drastic action. I was 100% perfect with ZERO sugar until Thursday when E-VIL Angi brought one of my very favorite treats to work and made me eat them. No, she didn't hold me down and stuff it down my throat but after 4.5 hours of smelling the delectable peanut butter bars I gave in and ate one and then another. I shared the rest and have been reasonably good since then but yes, I gave in. And I loved it.

Baking Queen

Thanks to a quirky little movie called The Waitress and an even quirkier show named Pushing Daisies I've been a little bit obsessed with pies. Thinking about them. Making them. Eating them. Other than my sometimes orgasmic (according to Paul) cupcakes I don't usually eat what I make and even with the cupcakes I can usually only eat one. Last week I started experimenting with pies. I made a DELICIOUS Butterscotch pie (from scratch) and just between us ate the entire thing--by myself. Last Saturday I made two peach pies and took those over to Bob and Shauna's...where my family dined on them. Then, on Sunday I made two chocolate peanut butter pies. I took one to a friend's house and one to work. I didn't try the peanut butter pie but I heard it was good. I was mostly satisfied with the peach pie but the shell was kind of soggy and I hate soggy food so I ate the pie part and left the rest alone. I even took a picture of one of the peach pies and the super duper cute little apron that Kacee gave me. I've never had an apron and I LOVE it! Thanks, K.

October 11

Snow is falling all around. Um...WHAT?

I was getting dressed this morning: jeans, long sleeve shirt, cashmere (translation: very warm) sweater, socks and real shoes...that would be enough, eh?

Then I opened the door and saw the snow. Back into the house to find a coat with a hood. Ish.

Tuesday and Me

Tuesday kicks the crap out of me. Possibly it is because I don't work on Mondays (sooooooooooo not complaining) and have lots to catch up on. Possibly it is because I no longer have my favorite hour of the week as I'm now in training with my closest neighbors. Regardless of the reason the result is that here I am: sitting on my couch, watching the debate, writing random shiz in my blog, eating peanut butter with a spoon and thinking about how nice my bed will feel in a few minutes. Dude...the fact that I am even thinking about going to bed at 9 o'clock should be of concern to some folks. I'm tired people. Tuesday makes me tired.

After Hours by We Are Scientist...new favorite song

I'm kind of a dumb-a. If I was smart, not a smart-a (I've got that one covered), I could post the actual thing from You Tube. This is my new favorite song and you MUST watch the video. Love the song. Love the video. Love.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rv2_LSIujHk&feature=related

My Little Elf

I have a little Elf who periodically leaves me little surprises at my desk. Not bad surprises...good ones. These "gifts" are awesome and so is the giver. She's super funny, sassy, brilliant, insightful, stylish and incredibly cool--someday when I grow up I want to be her. She's by far my favorite person at work (MSB you are my 2nd Favorite). She's also known as Sarcast-a-bitch by her brother which makes me adore her even more. She's left some hilariously funny little gifts including the gift I got today...a note from Dwight K. Schrute (on DKS stationary): "Beats, Bears and Battlestar Gallactica". The bottom of the note even said, "Bulldozer and Boyz to Men" which made me feel so giddy because it meant that she had been reading my crazy little journal. A couple of weeks ago I received the Cowardly Lion toy from McDonald's and last week I got a blue plastic giraffe--you know the one they put on the top of the ice cream at Taco Amigo. Awesome.

Three Stages of Reading

I have three stages of reading:

Stage One: Reading everything in sight.
Stage Two: Only being able to "re-read" books--too distracted by other things to focus on new characters, stories, etc. Plus, how nice is it to pull out that book that makes you so happy and you can read again and again? Think Joey with The Shining and Rachel with Little Women..."Just how little are those women?"
Stage Three: Not being able to read at all--mostly sitting on the couch watching TV until I fall asleep.

Lately I've been stuck in Stage Two and even though it has been fun to re-read some old favorites it is nice that I have FINALLY moved back into Stage One. I started Hunger Games yesterday afternoon and am truly enjoying the process of discovering a new book.

Olives or Olive Garden

Would you rather eat a dinner consisting entirely of olives or eat at Olive Garden?

Olives.

18 Days Without....

A Smart Cookie. I haven't had a cookie since September 19th. Not because I'm trying to cut back but because OHP ruined them for me. I literally don't even crave one. I'm wondering how long they can stay in business without my business.

The Mom Bag

Even though I'm not a mom I used to have a "Mom Bag". You know that magic bag that contains a little bit of everything. I think I had to have one in NYC because I never knew quite what I would need to get through the day. However, since I've lived here I've tried to use a smaller bag and have put my big bag away. Thankfully for Angi and her "Mom Bag" I've been saved twice in a week. Last Tuesday, I had a WEIRD food allergy to something in my lunch and within minutes was itching all over my legs and feet. I tried to keep it to myself but eventually I said something and without even responding verbally, Angi pulled out a handful of Benadryl and handed the pills to me. I told her I just needed one but she said, "take them--you'll need them later". I was ridiculously grateful later that night when I ended up taking two more and going to bed at 7 p.m. Today, I had another incident where I cut my finger with a piece of glass. Blood was pulsing and Angi once again pulled out THE BAG and had a box with a variety of Band-aids. Thank you very much for the mom bag--it rocks!

Filter-Ectomy

I think I've had a "filter ectomy". I know I've had "filter problems" lately but let's just be honest and admit that it is gone. Today, Angi spent a good part of her day keeping me away from as many people as possible. I wasn't in a bad mood but I think that since I've been sad for so long that today's mania came as a bit of a surprise. At one point today Ang even mentioned it might be wise for me to not answer the phone--for a little bit anyway--because "people just don't get you today". I will admit that I was a bit more manic than I've been in a long time but I'm so bored at work and need something to DO!

Bulldozer

Today the question was asked: would you rather be hit by a bulldozer or be forced to sit through a Boyz 2 Men Concert? My answer is emphatically BULLDOZER.

I think I may do a "Would You Rather..." question everyday.

Not so New

Okay, picture this. Last night I got home from Mike and Kacee’s at 11ish after a very exciting night of Eric, Timmy and Charlie. I got ready for bed and curled up with my “New” Myron Bolitar book--excited to read for a few minutes before falling into my nightly coma. Now, let’s back up to Saturday afternoon…I was desperately in need of a good new book and so I went to Borders to pick up the book that Kacee and Amie told me I must read (more on that later) and of course they didn’t have it but I still needed a book so I browsed for a minute and saw that on the “New Hardcover” shelf there was a Myron Bolitar. I love love love the Myron series so I grabbed it without even thinking about it but then ended up getting distracted the rest of the weekend and so didn’t start it until last night. Okay, back to Wednesday night at 11:30. I’m in bed…so excited for my new book, excited to see what Myron, Win and Esperanza are up to and really just needing a distraction. I opened the book, read the first few paragraphs and discovered much to my dismay that I FREAKING ALREADY HAVE THIS BOOK! I was so tired but I got out of bed, stumbled to the living room and sure enough…there it was, sitting on the "Harlan Coben shelf". So, I stumbled back to bed and looked at the “published” date. Yup, originally it was published in paperback in 199_whatever and in September of 2008 published in hardback. ANNOYING!

FNL

In honor of the premiere of Friday Night Lights I have a few words. Those of you who have DirectTV are lucky! I have a couple of options including a very good friend who I know will let me watch with her and also spending time at Bob and Shauna’s—so I’m covered. I was talking to Meredith one day last week and she told me that some of our good friends had gotten DTV just for FNL which makes me feel like a proud little mama. I know I can’t take all the credit for S&L being such huge fans but I was the one who convinced S to buy season one and was with her when she did it. Also, after S bought FNL, L stayed up ALL NIGHT to watch season one before going to work the next day. In the words of one of our other friends, “I don’t even know S’s roommate but I love her just for that…” Meredith also told me about all the other people who are fans indirectly because of me. I’m so happy that I can’t stop crying…or something else my boyfriend Gordon Sumner would sing. Yea for all of you who get to go to S&L’s apartment tonight to watch Coach Taylor and Principal Taylor portray the BEST marriage on television, to see Lyla and my real boyfriend Timmy Riggins get it on and to see Smash working at the Ice Cream parlor! I love Fall!!

Best Line of the Week

The Office:
Ryan: I wanted to say I’m sorry for treating you bad the last couple of years. I was in my mid-twenties and going through a lot of stuff. I think I never really processed 9-11. I want you to know I’ve changed. I think we should get a drink later and catch up…pick me up around 8?
Kelly: That is so sweet. Um...I'm dating Daryl still and we are like crazy in love.
Ryan: Um...cool. Um...well, maybe I'll see you around.
Kelly: It's a small office.

All the Names of Me

Angie, Angie everywhere. When I was growing up there were a lot of girls with my name. It has not changed. Not only are there a lot of us but also I have a lot of "names". Here are a few:

Angela...this really is my name but literally only a precious few can "get away" with calling me this: Jeff, Phil and Janet. That's it.
Angie...as far as I'm concerned it is my name.
Ang...those close to me call me Ang.
Ang Pang...college friends and other randoms call me this.
Angelique...old friends call me this.
Angelina...Cassie calls me this and I admit...I like it...the real Angelina is H-O-T.
Angelika...Emily called me this. I feel as if someone else at work does but the name isn't coming to me right now.
NY Angie...Red Head Chrissy calls me this to distinguish me from "Across the Street Angie".
The Other Angie...I kind of hate this one because it sounds so 2nd Rate but Willy calls me this to distinguish me from "The Original Angi"--my assistant. Yes, it is weird that my part time assistant has my same name. Even stranger that right now we are sharing an office during the remodel.

More Pet Peeves

I get that I have a lot of pet peeves...here are a few more things that have recently been peeving me...

**I love vinyl. I get that it is popular here and I even have some of it in my house but what is the deal with the "vinyl families" on the backs of cars? I even saw one today with a vinyl "skull family"--not sure what I think about that either.
**I hate when people think they are cute by misspelling words and titles on businesses. It was one thing in Washington Heights when nearly ALL the English words were misspelled but here people do it on purpose. For instance today I was driving through Salt Lake and saw a "restaurant" named Skool Lunch. It is not cool. It is not kitschy. It is stoopid!
**Oh, and speaking of misspelling...the other day at work I witnessed another of my favorite pet peeves..."Your Great" was written on one of my co-workers cars. If you are going to write something on a car shouldn't you make SURE that you know how to spell it? Um...yeah!

Rock the Vote!

I'm a Political Science nerd. I watch political shows on TV and I try to follow what is happening in the world but lately my middle name may as well be L-A-Z-Y because until today I was still registered to vote in New York. I've been meaning to go and get my Utah drivers license so that I could register here but I always seem to come up with an excuse to NOT do it. Well, last night I started thinking about how I was running out of time and so I looked it up on-line and discovered that I definitely needed to get it done this week. I did think for a few seconds about just doing an absentee ballot and voting out of New York--somewhere where my little vote would count but in the end I did the right thing, filled out the form and dropped it off at the County building. I must admit that it made me feel kind of giddy like I did in 1990 when I registered for the first time -- the day after my 18th birthday.

The Walker Children

Today I started watching Season Two of Brothers and Sisters and I just have one question...how is it that the Walker children are continually surprised that NONE of them can keep a secret? Why do they continue to tell each other their secrets? I mean come on! Kitty must know that if she tells Kevin something he will tell Justin or Tommy. If they have a secret they need to keep it to themselves! Why oh why? Amen.

Hate Me

How is it that a person can hear a song many times (88 times by the count on my iTunes) and not actually hear it? I love the band Blue October and the song Hate Me but until the other night had not actually “heard” the song. I was driving home from dinner at my brother’s house and I heard the lyrics for the very first time. They are so sad and beautiful and if it is possible I love even more now.

(”Hi Justin, this is your mother, and it's 2:33 on Monday afternoon. I was just calling to see how you ware doing. You sounded really up tight last night. It made me a little nervous, and a l... and... well... it made me nervous, it sounded like you were nervous, too. I just wanted to make sure you were really OK, and wanted to see if you were checking in on your medication. You know I love you, and...Take care honey. I know you're under a lot of pressure. See ya. Bye bye”)

I have to block out thoughts of you so I don’t lose my head. They crawl in like a cockroach leaving babies in my bed. Dropping little reels of tape to remind me that I’m alone. Playing movies in my head that make a porno feel like home. There's a burning in my pride, a nervous bleeding in my brain. An ounce of peace is all I want for you. Will you never call again? And will you never say that you love me just to put it in my face? And will you never try to reach me? It is I that wanted space. Hate me today. Hate me tomorrow. Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you. Hate me in ways. Yeah, ways hard to swallow. Hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you. I’m sober now for 3 whole months it’s one accomplishment that you helped me with. The one thing that always tore us apart is the one thing I won’t touch again. In a sick way I want to thank you for holding my head up late at night. While I was busy waging wars on myself, you were trying to stop the fight. You never doubted my warped opinions on things like suicidal hate. You made me compliment myself when it was way too hard to take. So I’ll drive so far away that I never cross your mind. And do whatever it takes in your heart to leave me behind. Hate me today. Hate me tomorrow. Hate me for all the things I didn’t do for you. Hate me in ways. Yeah ways hard to swallow. Hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you. And with a sad heart I say bye to you and wave. Kicking shadows on the street for every mistake that I had made. And like a baby boy I never was a man. Until I saw your blue eyes cry and I held your face in my hand. And then I fell down yelling “Make it go away!”Just make a smile come back and shine just like it used to be. And then she whispered “How can you do this to me?” Hate me today. Hate me tomorrow. Hate me for all the things I didn’t do for you. Hate me in ways. Yeah ways hard to swallow. Hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you. For you. For you. For you.

AmeriKacee Idol

Happy Birthday, Kacee! Friday night we celebrated my friend Kacee's 30th Birthday. It was a blast: food, fun, friends and KARAOKE! What more can you ask than a roomful of sober people trying desperately to sing. I admit that I was concerned when we first started planning the AmeriKacee Idol party that people wouldn't sing but they did and some of them wouldn't stop--thinking about it now still makes me smile. Way to go Chaddy, Lesli, Daniel and Tiffany! Oh, and I will never hear the song Summer Lovin' again without thinking about Steph and Mike!

The Tale of the Big Bad Meanine and The Annoying Checker Girl

Yesterday I was shopping at Target and I had my iPod with me so that I could be distracted by my favorite tunes while shopping. I also had the music as a "tool" to block out all the people I see when I go there. I always run into people I don't want to talk to or see and so I wanted to be "unavailable/unapproachable girl" as well. When I finally finished shopping I found what may be the most annoying checker in the history of the world. I HATE when the checker comments about the things that are in your cart. This girl was no exception. She commented about nearly everything I was buying and even asked me, “Did you have fun shopping?” No one has “fun” shopping at Target. Target is where I go to get all the random stupid things that I need in order to live: food, cleaning supplies, new pillows for the sofa, etc. “No, I did not have fun shopping”. Yet, still, she did not shut up. I couldn’t wait for her to finish and all it did was make me feel like Luke Wilson in Henry Poole Lives Here with that annoying grocery checker. I wasn’t mean and barely even spoke to her but still it made me feel like the big meanie that I am.

The Perfect Rage Cocktail

Yesterday I was having a bit of a bad morning. Nothing happened but I was not feeling quite as happy as I’d have liked. I was trying to kill a few minutes before an appointment and so I took a drive up Provo Canyon. I love driving in the canyon—especially when I have a lot of my mind so I thought it would be exactly what I needed. The drive was great. Not too much traffic, beautiful weather and the trees were gorgeous—absolutely perfect! Not only was the “outside” perfect but the “inside” was delightful. I love love love the “Shuffle” feature on my iPod and there I was driving in the beautiful canyon and listening to the perfect “Angie Rage Cocktail”:

1 oz. White Stripes
2 parts Depeche Mode
and a splash of Muse!

The Vulnerable Girl

I hate having a car. I love having a car. I hate having a car. I love having a car...

Okay, I LOVE having a car. I love having the freedom to go anywhere I want to go and anytime I want to go. I love that I just had a craving for frozen yogurt, threw on some clothes, drove across town and satisfied my craving. I love going to the store, buying stuff and putting it in the car and taking it home. I HATE dealing with cars. I hate paying for gas, insurance and repairs and even more than that I hate being vulnerable and girly and not knowing how to fix stuff. On Saturday afternoon after running around shopping and having fun with my mom and Becky the "check engine" light in my car came on. I'm kind of a good girl (mostly because I'm terrified of car problems) so I went home and made plans to take it to the shop on Monday morning. This morning I got up EARLY on my day off, got ready and took my car to the repair shop to have my buddies Ed and Kevin check out the problem. Said buddies had my car ALL day and finally at 4 o'clock Ed called me to tell me that MY GAS CAP WAS NOT ON TIGHT ENOUGH. Yes, ladies, I got to pay $50 for someone to tell me to make sure to put the cap on tighter. I LOVE being a girl!

Not All Crackers are Created Equally

A couple of years ago I ate saltines and cheese nearly exclusively....ask Christina and Meredith and they can confirm. Pretty much since discovering that crackers and cheese do not contain any iron, and thus the ability to slowly kill me, I've tried to stay away but lately have had a craving for some yummy colby jack and a handful of crackers. So, I'm an adult...I satisfy other food cravings and so the other day when I was shopping at Target I found the cracker isle and picked up a box. I was trying to save money so I bought the generic brand TRULY believing that crackers cannot be that different. Not true. The Target brand "saltines" suck and I can't even eat the rest. Morale of the story: stick with what you know...the good stuff costs more money.

The Possible Demise of my Cookie Obsession

I don't usually talk about work in my blog except for a passing reference to something someone said or did but yesterday something truly disturbing happened and I can't NOT write about it. My Accounting friends decorated my office yesterday morning for my birthday and then Julie brought in cookies from Smart Cookie to help us celebrate. Lindsay and I were sitting at my desk because I was helping her with a Darwin thing and I opened the box so we could all admire the cookies. Remember that these are my favorite Utah treat and I kinda can't get enough of them. I LOVE them and now I may not ever be able to eat one again...back to the story. After I opened the box this person who let's call One Hour Photo swoops in from across the office with this incredibly creepy look on his face and as he is TAKING one of my cookies asks in a TRULY heinous voice, "Can I have one of these...is it your birthday?" I half froze in my chair and was somehow able to nod my head 'yes' but the rest of me couldn't move at all. All of you who have ever sat through a horror/scary/slightly intense movie with me know that I always grab the person next to me when I'm scared and MY brain wanted to grab Lindsay but my body couldn't move. It was horrifying and even after it happened and he tip toed away we all sat there trying to figure out what had just occurred. This person OHP has never EVER even said "Hello" to me and felt as if it was okay to take away the one true pleasure I have right now. Ewwwwwwwww!

Happy Birthday to Me!

I've been dreading this day like the plague. Last year my birthday sucked and to be honest given how September has gone so far I pretty much figured that this year would follow as per expectations. I must admit that today was kind of sort of perfect. Okay, perfect would be a bit of a stretch but it was a lot of fun. The day started out with all kinds of cute surprises at home and at work and continued all day with phone calls, E-mail wishes and texts from friends all over the world. Work was fabulous, my evening with Julia was great (hilariously twisted movie) and I came home to a banner wishing me a Happy Birthday from the cutie patootie kids that live upstairs.

Thanks to all my friends and family. September 19th was a great day!

Fracking Funny TVisms

I'm going to share a few moments/lines from TV that have made me laugh this week. If you don't watch these shows it won't be funny and I apologize but I laugh every time I think about any of them...

How I Met Your Mother: Barney to Random guy at work: This spot is for VP of Awesome and you are Assistant Under Secretary of Only Okay."

Big Bang Theory: Leonard to Penny: "Have you ever heard of Schrodenger's Cat?" Penny: "Cat's alive--Let's go!"

90210: Kelly to Brenda about the perils of dating a guy a decade younger than her: "I asked him where he was when Kurt Cobain died and he said he was watching cartoons." This one is particularily funny to me...I don't have any idea why...

Greek: Casey to Ashleigh about the possiblilty of her taking a job as a babysitter: "What about your irrational fear of little people?"

Gossip Girl: Blair to everyone about Chuck: "I need a Post-Bass palate cleanser"; "Damn that Mother Chucker"; "Chuck Bass-tard". Ha ha. I love Chuck!

Oh, and this one has been rolling around in my head all week but it is about 14 years old:

Friends: Ross to Monica about why Paul-the-Wine guy would lie to her: "I'm guessing you are looking for something more sophisticated than 'to get you into bed'."

Sacred Thursday Night TV begins ... One week from tonight, Baby!

Random Thoughts for Today

I'm an emotional cripple. I'm stunted and demented. I'm watching TV right now and a commercial for Nights of Rodanthe comes on and I actually LAUGH out loud. It isn't just at home that this happens. Ask Julia, Shane or Kim...every single time I see this preview I start laughing. The logical intelligent part of me knows that this is not the appropriate response to that commercial but that's what happens when I see it. I can't freaking help it!

The final season of ER will be starting soon. HALLE-Freaking-LUJAH! I've been taking an unofficial poll for years trying to figure out who the HELL still watches that show but no one ever fessed up...I am happy to see that it will be ending this season. Maybe another helicopter will fall from the sky and take out the ENTIRE ER this time instead of just that tiny little annoying doctor.

Oprah kind of bugs me. I know. I know. This will make me even more unpopular than I already am but I don't love her. I don't hate her but I don't love her and I don't get why people think she walks on water. Anyway, the other day Red Head Chrissy and I were at the USU bookstore and I saw a copy of The Pillars of the Earth which I've been wanting to read but it had one of those *&^% Oprah's Book Club stickers. I walked across the store to make sure it was in fact a sticker that could be removed and not something imprinted on the actual book. It was a sticker so I bought it and have read about 200 pages (I removed the sticker the moment I walked into the house). I'm enjoying it very much -- despite the fact that O loves it.

Tina Fey is brilliant. I love her. I worship her. When I grow up I want to be her. She was unbeilevable on SNL last weekend as Sarah Palin. I've never seen/heard anything like that...ever.

This year the VMA's were RIDICULOUS! Totally unpolished. Completely unprofessional. The only good part was Pink. We fast forwarded thorough nearly all of it and I must admit that I have not felt that old in a very long time.

My brother Steve is cool. He's smart, funny, talented, charming AND he is the most amazing foot massager in the world. I used to pay someone in NYC a LOT of money to massage my feet to help with pain and swelling. With Steve all I have to do is buy him a Subway sandwich or dinner at Bombay House and/or give him a ride somewhere. I gotta admit...it's a really good trade.

Coming Home

Last week was my dear friend Mary's birthday. Mary and I have been friends since the early 90's and although we used to talk multiple times a day now if we talk a few times a year it is kind of a miracle. However, even if it is a few times a year it is still absolutely delightful when we do talk/e-mail or otherwise connect. I sent her a birthday message and this was part of her reply:

I love reading your blog. I laugh so hard. It brings me back to another life so many times. We were in DC this past weekend and oh how I love that city. I think I probably feel about DC as you do about NYC. It is home. How weird that it feels like home to me, but I think it always will. I guess I feel like DC is where I grew up.

How amazingly perfect? New York is where I grew up and where home will always be for me. Oh, and Mary, the fact that you signed your E-mail Mary Sunshine aka Kramer makes me love you even more than I already did...talk about take me back to when I used to call you "Kramer". Ahhhhhhhhhhhh. Good times.

Boogie Nights Theater

So, I don't work on Monday's and my friend Julia has a somewhat flexible schedule so we decided to catch a matinee movie...good idea...right?

We both wanted to see The Visitor (which by the way is the best movie I've seen in a year) but it was only playing at the icky icky theater behind the Mall. I remember the good 'ole days when that was the "nice" theater but those days are long gone. The movie started at 3:30 and for the first thirty minutes we were alone. Then about fourish a couple walked in and sat about 10 rows in front of us and over to the left. A few minutes later Julia gasps and tells me to "look over there" where I only see one person. It takes me a second to realize what is going on and Julia again comments that she is about to throw up and "Will you get mad if I go get the Manager?" I laughed and said I'd be okay with it wondering what exactly she was going to tell the "Pimple Faced 12-year old Manager". Julia comes back after telling the Manager, "There are 'sexual escapades' taking place in our theater...". Finally, the PFM came in and told them to 'stop it' and after a few minutes they got up and left. Okay, so we were feeling pretty okay and trying to get back into the movie when the girl walks back into the theater clearly a few sandwiches short of a picnic and "missing" something. She looks all over and can't find whatever she had left so she leaves AGAIN and goes and gets PFM and he comes into the theater with her to use his flashlight to find her missing coat. Seriously, at what point do you cut your losses and leave your discusting coat on the floor of the NASTY theater?

After discussing this incident with my friend Anna we decided on a couple of "Rules for Sexual Escapades". One: that should NEVER happen in public; Two: if for whatever reason it MUST happen in a public movie theater YOU MUST SIT BEHIND the others in the theater!