Boogie Nights Theater

So, I don't work on Monday's and my friend Julia has a somewhat flexible schedule so we decided to catch a matinee movie...good idea...right?

We both wanted to see The Visitor (which by the way is the best movie I've seen in a year) but it was only playing at the icky icky theater behind the Mall. I remember the good 'ole days when that was the "nice" theater but those days are long gone. The movie started at 3:30 and for the first thirty minutes we were alone. Then about fourish a couple walked in and sat about 10 rows in front of us and over to the left. A few minutes later Julia gasps and tells me to "look over there" where I only see one person. It takes me a second to realize what is going on and Julia again comments that she is about to throw up and "Will you get mad if I go get the Manager?" I laughed and said I'd be okay with it wondering what exactly she was going to tell the "Pimple Faced 12-year old Manager". Julia comes back after telling the Manager, "There are 'sexual escapades' taking place in our theater...". Finally, the PFM came in and told them to 'stop it' and after a few minutes they got up and left. Okay, so we were feeling pretty okay and trying to get back into the movie when the girl walks back into the theater clearly a few sandwiches short of a picnic and "missing" something. She looks all over and can't find whatever she had left so she leaves AGAIN and goes and gets PFM and he comes into the theater with her to use his flashlight to find her missing coat. Seriously, at what point do you cut your losses and leave your discusting coat on the floor of the NASTY theater?

After discussing this incident with my friend Anna we decided on a couple of "Rules for Sexual Escapades". One: that should NEVER happen in public; Two: if for whatever reason it MUST happen in a public movie theater YOU MUST SIT BEHIND the others in the theater!