Words to Live By

Quinn: If you quit the club I'll let you touch my breast.

Quinn: Remember the power motto ladies--it's all about the teasing and not about the pleasing.

Quinn: Let's pair up for the Immaculate Affection. Now remember, if the balloon pops the noise makes the angels cry.

Quinn: I want my kids to be able to look back at these books and see who I was, make them proud--not the bastard one I'm carrying now--of course--the ones I'll have when I'm married and ready.

Quinn: Status is like currency. When your bank account is full you can get away with doing just about anything but right now, we're like, toxic assets.

Quinn: When my mom applied to college she put being popular as being one of her extra curricular activities.

Quinn: I know some guys cheat on their wives or pregnant girlfriends. Just don't do it with Rachel.


So many good lines. I could type all day.

Don't Be a Guy. Be a Man.

D.C.: Lloyd, why do you have to be like this?
Lloyd Dobler: 'Cause I'm a guy. I have pride.
Corey Flood: You're not a guy.
Lloyd Dobler: I am.
Corey Flood: No. The world is full of guys. Be a man. Don't be a guy.


I love guys. But lately it's been a little rough and they have not been looking all that good. Not bad enough to make me a lesbian but definitely not good. I keep hearing about all these girls who are my age and are now finding out that they are Starter Wives. A few weeks ago one of my closest friends was sexually assaulted by a married co-worker and someone else I know of who JUST got married 6 months ago is pregnant and discovered that her awesome husband has already been cheating on her. Someone else I know got caught with a hooker. What's up? It makes me mad. It breaks my heart and of course it scares the hell out of me. Just when I was getting to the point where I was not loving the guys in the world I witnessed and/or remembered a few amazing moments that make me feel so much better:

*The guy friend who gave his baby a beautiful blessing this past Sunday.
*The guy friend who takes his kids so his wife can get away and doesn't consider it babysitting.
*The guy friend who held his niece while she sobbed even though his heart was broken as well.
*The guy friend who knows me way too well and calls me on my bullshiz.
*The guy friend who is ALWAYS early, opens doors and walks me to my car no matter how far away I parked. Who one night as we watched our girl friend walk off into the distance REALLY tried to figure out how to walk Amanda, Mae and myself home even though we lived all over the place. "My mom would kill me if she knew I just let a girl walk home at one in the morning in the middle of Washington Heights...". Adore.
*The guy friend who when he comes to see his wife walks INTO the office instead of sitting in the car waiting for her.
*The guy friend who always gives his wife the most amazingly thoughtful gifts on one of her not so favorite days.
*The guy friend who is kind and thoughtful and even when he's trying to be studly.
*The guy friend who even at his wife's funeral talked about how much he loved her and how he "envied no man".
*The guy friend who patiently teaches his 3 year old how to miniature golf even though she was really really struggling.
*The guy friend who always makes me feel so comfortable with their family and doesn't treat me like 'my wife's friend'. I'll never forget the time he came up to me and said, "You're on a very short list of girls I'm allowed to be alone with--want a ride home"?

Several months ago I was with two girl friends and we were talking about another friend whose husband I don't love and my friend started laughing and said, "On the one hand we have the husband she hates. On the other hand the one she loves and then there's mine. Somewhere in the middle. He says and does weird awkward things and acts crazy around her". True, he is awkward but that's just because he's a nice awkward kind of a guy. I actually adore him.

I know a lot of really great men and they more than make up for all the ass-hats guys that I also know of. Funnily enough--these also happen to be the men who make my Best Husbands List each year. Ponder that.

ChristmasHanukkahFestivusBirthday

Last week at work was mostly wretched but for one tiny little announcement. It was like Christmas, Hanukkah, Festivus and my Birthday all at the same time.

Bye, Bye, Bish!

Angie Hates Dogs

Athens, Georgia, Christmas Day 1980something my brother Dave and I got bikes from Santa and we were in our neighborhood trying out our new toys when we were chased and then attacked by a big dog. I don't remember what kind but it was big and mean and from that day on I've been REALLY scared of dogs. When I was in college my family got a dog named Nikita and I stopped talking to them for months. Nikita wasn't anything to be afraid of but I hated her ever living guts and used to call her Kruschev just to make my sister cry. After living in NYC for two years where there are dogs everywhere the fear somewhat subsided and I've been mostly okay but I still hate dogs. Tonight after my run I got home and tried to find a taser gun online so that tomorrow when I go I can get back at the 6 dogs who chased/barked at me during my 30 minute run. I HATE DOGS!!!!!


P.S. there are four exceptions: Chloe, Jake, Spindleshanks and Bug. Those dogs have hilarious personalities and they crack me up. I also like their owners a lot. Maybe that's part of it.

P.P.S. I'm kidding about the taser gun. I promise.