Thursday, June 10, 2010

Don't Be a Guy. Be a Man.

D.C.: Lloyd, why do you have to be like this?
Lloyd Dobler: 'Cause I'm a guy. I have pride.
Corey Flood: You're not a guy.
Lloyd Dobler: I am.
Corey Flood: No. The world is full of guys. Be a man. Don't be a guy.


I love guys. But lately it's been a little rough and they have not been looking all that good. Not bad enough to make me a lesbian but definitely not good. I keep hearing about all these girls who are my age and are now finding out that they are Starter Wives. A few weeks ago one of my closest friends was sexually assaulted by a married co-worker and someone else I know of who JUST got married 6 months ago is pregnant and discovered that her awesome husband has already been cheating on her. Someone else I know got caught with a hooker. What's up? It makes me mad. It breaks my heart and of course it scares the hell out of me. Just when I was getting to the point where I was not loving the guys in the world I witnessed and/or remembered a few amazing moments that make me feel so much better:

*The guy friend who gave his baby a beautiful blessing this past Sunday.
*The guy friend who takes his kids so his wife can get away and doesn't consider it babysitting.
*The guy friend who held his niece while she sobbed even though his heart was broken as well.
*The guy friend who knows me way too well and calls me on my bullshiz.
*The guy friend who is ALWAYS early, opens doors and walks me to my car no matter how far away I parked. Who one night as we watched our girl friend walk off into the distance REALLY tried to figure out how to walk Amanda, Mae and myself home even though we lived all over the place. "My mom would kill me if she knew I just let a girl walk home at one in the morning in the middle of Washington Heights...". Adore.
*The guy friend who when he comes to see his wife walks INTO the office instead of sitting in the car waiting for her.
*The guy friend who always gives his wife the most amazingly thoughtful gifts on one of her not so favorite days.
*The guy friend who is kind and thoughtful and even when he's trying to be studly.
*The guy friend who even at his wife's funeral talked about how much he loved her and how he "envied no man".
*The guy friend who patiently teaches his 3 year old how to miniature golf even though she was really really struggling.
*The guy friend who always makes me feel so comfortable with their family and doesn't treat me like 'my wife's friend'. I'll never forget the time he came up to me and said, "You're on a very short list of girls I'm allowed to be alone with--want a ride home"?

Several months ago I was with two girl friends and we were talking about another friend whose husband I don't love and my friend started laughing and said, "On the one hand we have the husband she hates. On the other hand the one she loves and then there's mine. Somewhere in the middle. He says and does weird awkward things and acts crazy around her". True, he is awkward but that's just because he's a nice awkward kind of a guy. I actually adore him.

I know a lot of really great men and they more than make up for all the ass-hats guys that I also know of. Funnily enough--these also happen to be the men who make my Best Husbands List each year. Ponder that.

4 comments:

Wendi said...

Gotta love the quotes from "Say Anything". You don't know my husband very well, but he's one of the good guys in this world. I'm thankful that he has put up with me all these years. He's a great husband and an even better father. :)

Jim Zirbes said...

Awesome post and excellent blog! Keep up the good work! :-))

~Nancy said...

Just found your blog while procrastinating while updating my own website >.< Love your blog and I can relate! Luckily I have a great husband of 20 years.. he cooks too! I have 2 pieces of advice:

1] get em young, train em right.
2] NEVER EVER do anything for a man you don't want to do for life. Pick up his socks once and its YOUR JOB.

Have a great day and remember, there are still good ones out there who are a] Not gay and b] don't live with their moms.

~Nan

the crazy persian said...

Hey I found this while trying my very hardest not to work on my design project and found it thoroughly amusing. I agree what is up with that? Theres only a few guys I've met in my life that I can truly say were one of the good guys. Which is sad. But my opinion is when you find one, hold on (not in a creepy way in the this is a good friend way) and now i'm going in circles. anyways. nice post.