Give Her a Schmear

Okay, I'm all for taking care of yourselves and going to the doctor for regular check-ups but has anyone else seen the Pap Smear commercials? OhMyGosh!

Get your loved one a Pap Smear for Christmas. Just a schmear can save her life!

Shiz.

Griz Update

The damn Grizwolds turned on their damn lights.

How to Solve a Problem Like...

I've been told that it's nearly impossible to know what I will or won't like as far as pop culture goes--that I'm a bit of an enigma. I'd probably agree but mostly because I don't even know how to solve that riddle that is Angie. For instance how do you explain how much I love FNL given how much I dislike the main ingredient? Also, how is it that I L.O.V.E the TV show Glee? On the one hand there's lots of Broadway stuff and I've seen some of the actors on stage. On the other hand the show is completely adorable: cute, quirky and each episode has heart but really, truly, the songs they sing are mostly songs I abhor. Hate: like with the white hot passion of a thousand suns kind of hate. So, how is it that I not only get giddy at the prospect of each episode but also that I buy the music nearly every week and actually bought the Glee CD at the store. Not online like all the other music I own but an actual physical CD. Anyway, thought I'd share but I absolutely adore this show. Love Mr. Schuester. Love Rachel. Love Kurt. Love them all.

Mikey and Ami Sitting in a Tree...

I got the funniest post the other day on Facebook from my friend Ami:

"My parents recently cleaned out their attic and found a love letter from Mikey to me. It was hilarious! I'm not completely convinced that it wasn't a fabrication that you and David came up with to embarrass him. It was steamy!!! Ah...young love."

Mostly I need to check with Dave to see if we did make up the love letter. Dave remembers everything--but I do know for a fact that Mikey was head over heels in love with Ami Jo--or at least as much as you can be when you are a tween.

Good times.

Franky, Mr. Shankly by The Smiths

Frankly, Mr. Shankly, this position I've held
It pays my way, and it corrodes my soul.
I want to leave, you will not miss me
I want to go down in musical history.

Frankly, Mr. Shankly, I'm a sickening wreck
I've got the 21st century breathing down my neck.
I must move fast, you understand me
I want to go down in celluloid history, Mr. Shankly.

Fame, Fame, fatal Fame.
It can play hideous tricks on the brain.
But still I'd rather be famous than righteous or holy, any day.
Any day, any day.

But sometimes I'd feel more fulfilled making Christmas cards with the mentally ill.
I want to live and I want to love.
I want to catch something that I might be ashamed of.

Frankly, Mr. Shankly, this position I've held
It pays my way and it corrodes my soul.
Oh, I didn't realise that you wrote poetry
I didn't realise you wrote such bloody awful poetry, Mr. Shankly.

Frankly, Mr. Shankly, since you ask,
You are a flatulent pain in the arse
I do not mean to be so rude.
Still, I must speak frankly, Mr. Shankly.

Oh, give us your money!

The Grizwolds

Today is December 3rd and the Grizwolds haven't turned on their special light show. Actually, today when I drove home in the DAYLIGHT (yeah, that hasn't happened in months) I noticed that they weren't even close to being done setting up the disgustingness that they call Christmas. Hmmmm....I wonder if it will happen this year.

Fingers crossed!

Mean People Suck

Today I saw a cashier cry and it wasn't because of me...

So, I'm at Robert's picking up a few things for a friend's birthday and the line is WAY long and mostly full of old people who are delighted to chit chat with the sweet soul running the cash register. She was adorable, probably about 19-20, married, and her husband was studying Biology at UVU and then he was hoping to go to Baylor for grad school. Baylor by the way is in Texas. (I already knew that but I thought I'd add it). She was working at Robert's because well, "May as well make good use of the time...".

Why do I know all of this? Um...because I heard her tell EVERY single customer that went through the line. Well, all except for the Rich Bitch standing in front of me. RB in her obscenely expensive clothes, ridiculously GINORMOUS diamond ring and attitude to boot stood there tapping her foot on the floor, her fingers on the cart, and checking her watch every 16 seconds, finally made her way to the front of the line and then told Sweet Soul that since it was taking so long she was only going to get the one bolt of ribbon and pushed her cart full of crap across the store. As Sweet Soul ran the credit card and they had the following conversation:

SS: This is what takes so long, running the credit cards...
RB: Yeah, that and CHATTING!
SS: I like to chat while I work because people seem to enjoy having someone nice to talk to them.
RB: Grrrrrrrrr. Not everyone!

RB grabs credit card, signs the receipt and runs out of the store. I'll admit that I was thinking mostly the same things but I would NEVER EVER have said anything because the little girl really did mean well and because I've worked retail at a scrapbook store and encountered so many of those women.

Anyway, mostly, I hope the Karma Police stop RB and make her pay for making the sweet cashier cry. And cry she did the entire time she was ringing up my stuff.

Tuesday...

Tuesday really is brilliant for being single.

Not so much:

Weekends
definitely not Mondays
or Holidays
and especially not Birthdays

But Tuesday, really is brilliant for being single.

I heard this a while ago on a British TV show I was watching and every once in a while it makes me smile on a random Tuesday.

Today I'm smiling.

Books

I need a book...

Recommendations?

Psycho? Um...not really!

I just received an E-mail invitation to see a little movie that premieres on November 20th and it reminded me that I've needed to clarify something...

I'm not a Twilight psycho. I'm not obsessed. I'm not a crazy person -- yes I am a crazy person but not necessarily just about this.

I very much enjoyed the series. I loved the world Stephenie built. I enjoyed most of the characters and definitely was excited for the release of each book. The books are fun, exciting, a little bit sexy and I know got a bunch of people who don't read reading which in and of itself is always a good thing. I think Eclipse is my favorite or it used to be but right now New Moon is at the top of my list especially as I remember the first time I read it. I'd been sitting in my favorite chair at my parents "pretending" that I was okay so that they would let me leave the house but so sick I could barely walk up the stairs. I will never forget the crushing feeling I had when I read for the first time pages 85-93. What an amazing literary tool. Genius. Do I think they are the best books ever written? No. Not even the best vampire books. They are fun and I enjoyed sharing the series with everyone I knew that Christmas. So, the real question--if I'm not the biggest Edward fan on the planet (I do love love love him) then why go to all the effort to rent out a theater? Answer: I'd introduced it to so many people and since I never combine friends I figured if I didn't want to see the movie a zillion times then maybe we could all see it together. It was definitely an interesting night and it was a blast to see 220 people who somehow knew someone who knew me in one place to enjoy something we all liked. This year I'm very much looking forward to showing up 5 minutes before the movie starts and watching. Sans stress. Sans being in charge. Sans all the pressure and drama. Sans that evil brat kicking me in the head for two hours because she was mad that she didn't get a prize. Plus, I think this movie is going to be WAY better!

This IS It

Friday night I had one of the most satisfying experiences of my most recent existence: me and MJ and a whole bunch of amazing music. Yeah, I was there with a friend and a theater full of people but all that mattered to me was that I was re-living a large chunk of my childhood and adolescence in pure bliss. Sitting in a movie theater with a HUGE grin on my face and listening to and watching The King of Pop. That man was the most amazing entertainer. I so wish I had ever been able to see him live. It was incredible to watch him -- 50 years old and out dancing all of his 20 year old 'hotness monster' dancers who by the way were panting -- AND MJ was singing as well. I think everyone who really knows me knows I am not conservative about entertainment, sex or politics but I do have some pretty tight Amish rules about public behavior (unless I'm at The Melting Pot). Those nearly went out the window Friday night because there were a few moments during Beat It, Billie Jean and Thriller where I DO NOT KNOW how I sat in my chair. I wanted to get up and dance so badly. We were sitting on the row with the bar and my little feet were just a dancing and my butt dancing was probably out of control but I had so much fun! Last night in the privacy and comfort of my living room I turned the music up as far as it would go and danced to my hearts content. How terrifying should it be that I still remember the words to Thriller? I guess it could have something to do with the fact that we watched it 19,000 times. Watch. Stop. Rewind. Watch. Stop. Rewind. Watch. Stop. Rewind. Watch. Heaven!

Andy=Angie?

After finishing the most recent episode of The Office I've come to a terrifying conclusion:

I'm the female version of Andy.

Oy vey.

Please let it just be the tiniest similarity because of one episode.

Please.

30 Hours in Heaven

Last weekend I took a super quick trip to San Francisco and I don't mean to be overly dramatic (I know hard to believe...) but even though it was only just over a day it was a little bit of heaven. Originally I just needed to get out of The UC and to be with someone who likes me in a city where I don't feel like an outcast but it ended up being so much more.

Here are a few highlights:

*Eating our faces off -- one of us definitely at least started the process towards coronary delight as shown by the Cuban he's eating. We actually bought this at this divey Bodega/Liquor Store compliments of Anthony Borudain. My brother Steve would have loved to have been with us.

*Sprinkles cupcakes--holy wonderfulness! Totally worth waiting in line and paying $6 for two cupcakes. The Red Velvet was my favorite although the coconut was a delightful treat on Sunday afternoon.

*Being with Tina. I heart her. No matter how crazy and dark and twisted I am she still likes me and is the best friend in the world. It was so great to get together, talk, shop and catch up in real life.

*Bonding with Jeff during an incredibly painful but wonderful Chinese foot massage. I really should have taken a picture but was having way too much fun having the shiz massaged out of my feet. Also, trying desperately to ignore the Heir to the Massengill fortune that was in the spa at the same time.

*Spending the entire weekend talking about all my favorite things: food, TV, books, movies and music. Truly does it get any better? Um...No!

*The concert. We went to the Bridge School Benefit Concert that is hosted every year by Neil Young and friends to help sponsor a handicap school in the Bay Area. The kids were super cute and had as much fun as we did. We had a blast hanging out, listening to the bands and people watching: The mini Lane Kim, the rubber chicken--what was that about, the nerdy guy in the Mad Hatter Hat. All kinds of random people at a concert--especially this one because of the varied bands. Love me some Wolfmother and they were fantastic! Whenever I'm in a bad mood I love cranking up Wolfmother and rocking out until I feel better. Chris Martin could NOT have been cuter, sexier and more down to earth. Speaking of earth, how many people can claim to have sung a round of Earth Angel with their rock icon? Another highlight was when Jimmy Buffet was performing and we got the text from Nick telling us that he was pretty sure that Vice President Biden was on the stage. Yes, folks, if VP Biden was ripped and went a couple weeks without a haircut he could definitely be Jimmy for Halloween! Also, even though I'm not the biggest No Doubt fan I loved seeing Gwen and her friends live. She was glammed up for the night, running around in a teeny tiny black dress and 6 inch heels. She sang to the kids and introduced me to a No Doubt song I'd never heard. I will even admit that a couple of tears streamed down my face as I listened to the beginning of the lyrics of Magic's in the Makeup.

Thank you thank you thank you Tina for a great weekend!

Crush '09

I have a confession.
I have a crush.
It's huge and incredibly embarrassing.

It's not new to anyone who knows me how I often have crushes on certain TV men. My friend called me a whore last year in a conversation along these lines but it's true I love the boys on TV. I still enjoy those boys but I'm HUGELY CRUSHING on someone new and REAL. I don't watch reality TV. Not because I'm better than it but because I just don't care for it. The only exceptions are Amazing Race and a recent fascination with SYTYCD. I enjoy Amazing Race and I really really want to watch someone I know compete in the race. So much that I've even offered to take a week off for three of my favorite couples to watch their kids so that they can be on the show. Usually when watching the Amazing Race I have to pick between the people I hate the least to root for with the exception of the year of the Cho brothers. I adored them. This year is completely different. I am totally, completely and freakishly falling for Justin. He's perfect. I love him. I love how hot he is. I love how sweet he is. I love the way he is with Zev and I pretty much want to reach through the TV and kiss him. I get so stressed during each episode that he and Zev are going to get kicked off that I can barely sit still. The crush is so bad that Kacee suggested that I join some kind of fan club or see if my "Friend" Erwin knows someone who knows Justin. Um...not asking Erwin. I am considering the fan club idea though. That's how bad this is.

Thanks to the brilliant wonderful invention of DVR I never watch live TV. There is one exception...Amazing Race. In fact I can barely wait until 7 p.m. to start watching. I do wait until 7:15 so that I can fast forward through the commercials. I'm not that bad up yet but I definitely watch it on Sunday nights and was quite stressed about the idea of being at Becky's or Julia's and not being able to watch it this weekend.

T minus 1:45 until Justin time...

Ov Vey. What's wrong with me?

Single Girl. Lives Alone. You Figure Stuff Out.

A few weeks ago while helping a friend set up for her housewarming party I found her sister in one of the rooms having trouble opening a fold out table and I looked at it for a second and popped it open.

Emily: How did you do that?
Angie: Single Girl. Lives Alone. You figure stuff out.
Emily: Hmmm. That's probably true.

Not probably true. Absolutely 100% true. Lately I've had several experiences "figuring things out" including swallowing lots of pride and finding options for my living predicament, changing the filter in my furnace and popping open that table. Pretty much when you are a single girl living alone you spend a lot of time figuring things out--you have to--the only other option is curling up in a ball and giving up. I don't like asking for help. I'm not good at it and it isn't exactly because I don't trust people. It's because I have to be independent. I have to figure stuff out and make millions of decisions everyday--some tiny--some not so tiny just to get through each day. I know people who can't decide without Spousal approval what outfit to wear, lipstick to buy or what to eat for lunch. I don't want to be alone but I definitely do not want to be that girl.

Close Encounters of the Mold Kind

Four weeks ago tomorrow I found some water on the floor between my bathroom and laundry closet. I called Dave and Stacy down to look at it and they discovered the wall and ceiling were wet as well. Several days later we learned that it was from a leak coming from their house and so began the process to fix my house. I didn't take a picture of the first hole--the one that freaked Zacky out and made him say "skawy" over and over and over and eventually had to leave my house because he couldn't calm down. However that hole was tiny compared to the picture below.



This picture is from inside my laundry closet. The tape and plastic are "protecting" me from the mold. Apparently it was safe for me to live here but not for the fix it guys to be here for more than a few minutes...Go figure.

Then Wednesday night while working late I got a phone call from Stacy telling me that I had to be out of the apartment the next morning at 9 o'clock and would have to be gone from 5-13 days while they repaired all the damage. To say the least I lost it. It had been an incredibly difficult couple of weeks and that was the last straw. I knew immediately that I didn't really have anywhere to go for a night much less 5-13 days so I quickly finished what I was working on and went home to come up with some kind of a plan. On the way home I used A LOT of pride and called my sister to see if I could stay there for a couple of nights while I figured something else out. She agreed immediately because she's perfect and wonderful but I knew it was horrible timing because she's minutes from having a baby and has enough on her plate. Later that night Becky called with "The Plan": they would move Zack to the crib, put the baby in their room, put Paul's parents in the guest room and me in Zack's bed. As grateful as I was and believe me I was it was just too much so I told her I had somewhere else to stay and went back to the drawing board. Wednesday night I used up the rest of my pride and E-mailed JuJu to see if I could sleep on the floor in her downstairs apartment--a good opportunity to see if I really wanted to live there and to see if it would work out. Thursday was another incredibly long day at work and at 7 p.m. when I left work I still didn't know where I'd be staying that night. I had all my shiz in my car but no where to go. I had received some offers from my work friends but I knew none of those were real options especially given my inability to ask for and/or accept help. On the way home I called the Princess to see if she'd had the baby yet and/or if the in laws were in town yet and she told me that they really would love to have me stay with them. The picture below is what I discovered Thursday night when I went home to get my pillow. Holy Freaking Cow it looks like ET's house after it gets taken over. The green thing in the middle is a machine that made the most obnoxiously high pitched sound--even if I'd had access to the bathroom and could have stayed at my house I would never have been able to stand the sound of it.

Saturday afternoon after spending the entire day away running around trying to keep myself busy and not bugging Becky and family I stopped by my house to get more clothes and Dave told me that the guys had finished the mold work and that "ET went home". Yay! I drove to Springville, packed up my stuff and came home for a much needed 10 minute nap before getting ready for my jam packed Saturday night. The picture below is what it looks like now. The re-construction begins tomorrow--fix the wall, re-paint and re-do the floors. I can't wait until I can put my stuff away and get back to some semblance of normal. I miss normal or as much normal as I'm used to.

Me and the Wall

Why hit my head on the wall? Because it feels so good when I stop. Why run when my foot hurts so badly? Why listen to music that I know will make me sad? It is like the wall. Sometimes pain is kinda nice at least then I get to feel something.

Baking with a Purpose

Last Fall I started baking as a way to deal with some stuff and to keep my mind occupied and basically never stopped. It really helps me to feel better about myself and life and shiz. Recently I've decided to begin naming the desserts based on the reasons for them.

Pology Cookies

Redemption Cupcakes

What in the Hell Pie

Good thing that although I love to bake I REALLY love to share because let's be honest I mess up a lot and could probably make Pology Cookies at least once a week.

Really hope I don't have to make that pie again anytime soon.

Hi, my name is Angie and I'd like to bear my testimony.

Take your jaws off the floor I'm talking about my DVR.

I LOVE it. My friend Brenda has nicknamed hers Drake.

Mine doesn't have a name but I still love him.

I love that I never or nearly never have to think about

when something is on. I watch when I want

how many times I want (Big Bang Theory)

and never have to sit and surf to find

something lame to watch.

Tonight here I am sitting on my sofa, watching the Emmys

and fast forwarding through all the dumb stuff.

Love.

Love.

Love.

Big Fat Butt and the Bike

Thanks to the fact that I fracked up my left foot (more later) I've been lacking on my workouts this week and needed to go out today. I really can't run and can barely walk so I thought...hmmm...next best thing...my bike. So, this morning I bought a bike pump and decided that I would try to ride over to Bob and Shauna's for dinner. I was a little bit worried that I'd need to call for a rescue ride but it all went well--that is with the slight exception of when my phone slipped out of my pocket somewhere on 400 North and I had to double back to find it. Thankfully, no one drove over it and it still works. This phone and I have had some minor setbacks but I think overall my phone still loves me.

Thanks to JT's Sex, Love and Magic, I did make it to Bob and Shauna's AND even had the energy to RIDE home. Originally, my plan was to beg someone to take me home but I did it and I got home before dark! Wahoo.

MASH Boyfriend Sighting

Friday night after work I ran by The Wal-Marts to pick up a few things for the weekend. While I was walking up the frozen food isle I saw someone and he looked a little familiar so I probably starred for a few seconds more than is appropriate but eventually it hit me who it was and I grinned like an idiot as I skipped up the isle texting Red Headed Chrissy.

Ang: I'm literally standing next to your MASH boyfriend!!!!
RHC: Kiss him hard for me. LOL.
Ang: Ha!!
RHC: Are you in martial arts class?
Ang: I'm at the Wal-Marts. Pretty sure that breaks the code.
Ang: He's with his mommy and daddy.
RHC: Poor Guy.
Ang: Hot Friday night.

In the nerd's defense I was also at the Wal-Marts on a Friday night but I was there sans parents. Also, the only reason I recognized him was because on Monday night when RHC and I were at dinner we were talking about how one of our other friends had just had a sighting of him. Ahhhhhhhh, the days of fun times and "MASH Boyfriends". Good times.

Love / Hate

Love vs. Hate.

I have a Love vs. Hate relationship with Target. It is convenient and for the most part they have much cuter things than that other discount store that is geographically closer to my house. Target is more convenient than the other place not because it is closer but because it isn't as big and I can get in and out faster. Yesterday I was there buying a gift for a house warming party and walked by the DVD's. I was in too big of a hurry to have the debate in my head of if it was REALLY worth it to buy the three things I wanted and if I REALLY would watch them so I didn't buy them.

Today they are more expensive. It wasn't a week ago. It was YESTERDAY!

Yesterday, yes, yesterday item one was $23. Today = $34.99.
Yesterday, item two was $34.99 and today = $49.99.
I don't remember how much item three was but now it is $40ish and I'm bugged!

Grrrrr!

Andy: Michael, am I gay?

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

I heart Paul

I heart Paul. He's the BEST Brother-in-Law in the entire world. Yesterday he came to my work to change the brake light in my car. When I mentioned it to Bob and how much I love Paul, Bob says, "You have some incredible brothers, too". I scowled and then he said, "Oh well, they probably wouldn't go to your work and help you with your car..." Um Yeah. Paul rules ALL!

P.S. I don't heart Paul in a creepy inappropriate way.

Iceland Revisited

Okay, so apparently a bunch of you think that Volcano Angie is about to erupt and burn up the UC. I've had a couple of really bad weeks at work but I'm not about to lose it. The whole Iceland thing started because one of my friends mentioned that I never write about anything personal.

There are two basic reasons for this:

A) Blog Stalkers--I don't really understand this phenomenon but after talking to some of you who are more normal than me it seems as if people like to stalk others blogs. I barely have the time to read the blogs of my people so I can't imagine reading blogs of people who I don't like. It totally baffles me that people who vocally hate me enjoy reading my blog.

B) I'm private and it's hard for me let people in. It's incredibly difficult for me to be vulnerable and open because I've been burned nearly every time I've let someone see the real me.



When I wrote the Iceland post I was trying to get personal and to put a little of myself out there. No, TMM you are not the one who crushed me by telling me that I'm hard to get to know and that the casual observer finds me cold, unfeeling and untouchable. Although I do know that we've had a similar discussion. So, when I say that I'm ICELAND: cool to the touch but underneath pure volcano, I mean that I am a little bit country and a little bit rock-n-roll. No, really, I mean that it might be difficult to get to know me but when you do I'm incredibly passionate. I love the people I love with all my heart and it also probably means that if I don't love you I might be really passionate about how much I don't love you--the Bish and his little minions are the perfect example of that. If I love you I'd do anything for you. If I don't love you I might get excited by torturing you--a new side of my personality I've recently discovered with regard to Pony Boy. I like being Iceland. I feel as if I've made a huge leap into true self-discovery and it makes me happy.

Ugh, Lettuce

Know what I hate? I hate that it is 9:25 p.m., I'm not hungry and yet I'm stuffing a serving of lettuce in my face so that I can eat one last damn vegetable for the day.

I love the Wellness Program.

Peach Paradise?

My go-to treat generally resides in the baked-good family. I'm all about the really good cookie or slice of cake. A lot of people like ice cream. Ice cream is good but for me it really depends on the options. If my options are an Angie Crack Cookie or ice cream I'm going to choose the cookie. If my choices are a sugar cookie from Kneaders or ice cream then I'm going to choose the ice cream. For one of my colleagues, who for now shall remain nameless, ice cream is a religious experience. The other day he stood in the door way of my office with a look on his face that I can only describe as pure bliss and we had the following conversation:

Nameless: Millet, I just had an experience that can only be likened to the first time that Edward bit Bella's neck.
Ang: *giggle* What did you consume?
Nameless: (Deep sigh) The peach shake from Taco Amigo.
Ang: Really?
Nameless: Yes. It was the most amazing experience. You need to go over there and get one.
Ang: Hmmm. Maybe tonight after Luke's game.

Anyway, I went Friday night and got a shake but wasn't in the mood so I put it in the freezer. Note to world...you can't re-freeze those things...they don't un-thaw well. I ended up throwing it away. Then, the other night I was laying in bed at 8 p.m. and all of the sudden got the huge craving for the peach shake. So, I got up, got 1/2 dressed and ran over to the Amigo. I paid $5 for the shake and have the following review: the shake is good. Its really good but it isn't worth the money--especially since it can't be re-frozen and I can only eat about a third of it. So, basically unless I'm sharing I'm definitely done with the peach shakes for the season. They are yummy...the peaches are delicious but for me not so much a religious experience!

I'm Iceland

About a month ago someone I trust implicitly mentioned that I might come across as cold and closed off and unfeeling to the casual observer. To say the least this put me in a bit of a funk because it just isn't true. Or, maybe it put me in a funk because it is true and I didn't want to hear it.

Tonight I heard something and I think it accurately describes me: I'm Iceland--cool to the touch but underneath pure volcano! I think I'm okay with this.

Teeny Tiny Tables

The Blue Lemon is the cutest little restaurant. It is in Highland across from Kohler's and I love it. It has DELICIOUS food and treats and cute little tables and a great atmosphere. This town is so small. My friend and I were sitting there last night and I was telling him all about my favorite daily drama queens and then had to stop talking because of the person who came and sat down next to us--like right next to us. At the teeny tiny table next to us. Bloody Hell! She looked at me and I looked at her and she pointed at me and said, "I know you...right?" I smiled and replied, "Yes, I work with your mom". "Oh, you're Angie, right?" "Yup".

End of my fun talk. Bummer.

Project Redemption: Cupcake Chapter

Why are they so ugly? What the heck?

A few months ago I hosted a baby shower for a good friend of mine. I made all the food myself and had a HUGE disaster with the cupcakes. That night I actually made two batches because batch one had little chunks of something and had to be thrown away. I even had to call Red Headed Chrissy to come over and save me with more milk. Batch two was also a disaster but because of the late hour and some serious delirium I actually served them at the shower. I'm still embarrassed about it and can't believe that I would serve those cupcakes. Well, my friend's mother-in-law who is so one of my favorite people and also ridiculously nice asked me if I had brought my "cute blue cupcakes" to the baby blessing luncheon. Um, no. I hated that sweet Shellee thought that I thought that those cupcakes were even remotely acceptable so I decided to come up with Project Redemption Cupcakes. Last Sunday I got up, whipped up a batch of Amy's yellow cake and put them in the oven to bake while I worked on the frosting. I like the cake density of Amy's recipes and wanted these to be special. Yeah, I had to throw all three dozen away and run to the store for more flour -- how is it that I could be out of flour? After I got home I did what I do best and made a batch of my normal cupcakes which did turn out well. I delivered them to my friend and I'm pretty sure they enjoyed them. I did learn a couple of things during my little project:

*Redemption does not come easy but it is totally worth it.

*Don't ever try a new recipe when it is for something important. Duh.

Wellness?

My work is in the middle of a Wellness Program and since I sit in the same general area as the coordinator of the project I get to hear some really funny things. The program is really simple:

*Eat 5 fruits or vegetables a day--5 days a week.
*Drink 48 oz of water a day--5 days a week.
*Exercise for a minimum of 30 minutes a day--four days a week.

It isn't a weight loss program but just an attempt to get us to be health conscious and maybe if you are drinking 48 oz of water that is 48 oz less of Mt Dew, eh? So, like I said I sit near sweet little Tiffy and I've heard some interesting questions and comments. Here are a few of them that I can remember off the top of my head:

Guy 1: did you use your walking around with your wife on vacation as exercise?
Guy 2: Yes, it was for like 5 hours a day. Didn't you put down all the walking around you did on your vacation?
Guy 1: NO! I had a freaking Churro in my hand while I was walking around.

Girl 1: Does 30 minutes of Dance Dance Revolution count as my exercise?
Tiffy: Yes.

Girl 1: Can't I count Mike & Ike's as a fruit?
Tiffy: Ha! Not quite.

Tiffy: If I have to eat one more fruit or vegetable I'm going to throw up.

Guy 1: Do the fruit snacks in the vending machine count as a fruit?
Girl 1: Um. No, They aren't even made of fruit.

I will say that for the most part the water is not a problem and that the fruit and vegetables shouldn't be but sometimes when it is 10 o'clock at night and I'm not hungry and I stare at that fridge thinking I need to eat one more damn vegetable I truly think about dying. The exercise has kicked my trash but I'm kind of liking it a little more each day. I've been jogging--slow as molasses but I jog and yesterday and today (Saturday) when I got up for days 5 and 6 -- not even required I think I'm now showing my dedication. Not so much to the program as my dedication to eating cookies.

Trainwreck?

Can you say Trainwreck? Bella looks stunned. Brayden looks like he's going to drop her. Baylee is trying to poke out Jaxon's eye. Zack is sobbing and Angie lost the war over the hats...hats do not belong in shots like this--I can't see any of their eyes. Geesh! Thank goodness for perfect little Skyler and of course for sweet Camden and Jordie!

This one is my favorite! How funny is that face?

The Big Easy--Is that Me or the City?

Here's my travelogue. It's long. It's probably boring. If I was super spesh I would get up in church and share it with everyone...

Monday afternoon 12:40ish Bob and Shauna picked me up to go to the airport and I discovered that Steve had bailed on the trip. I was pretty bugged because he was going to be my buffer--you know the thing that kept me sane and kept me from killing anyone.

10:00 p.m. CST--arrive at the Baton Rouge International Airport. I literally do not know how they can all it that. There are like 6 gates in the entire place. When we arrived at the car rental place we discovered that there was only a mini van left. Not to be all Seinfeldy but what exactly is the point of taking the reservation if you can't keep it. That's okay because in the next 6 days the van turned out to be just as sexist as everyone else I encountered during my stay in lovely Louisiana. The car would only open the doors to the side if Bob pushed the buttons. I swear it's true! I'm not making this up. The freak show car would not let me or Shauna out unless Bobby Brown pushed the button. It was so frustrating and terribly hilarious all at the same time. There was a point on Wednesday when I had mentally decided to stop making anti-sexist references but the van pushed me over the edge when Shauna had to crawl into the front just to escape the car.

Tuesday--spent the entire day trapped in the house. I was seconds from completely losing my mind at 4:30 when I asked nicely if I could take the car and drive around for a few minutes before Bob's friends came over to dinner. I also went for a walk/run Tuesday night. I will never complain about exercising in Utah ever again. It was 90ish degrees and at least 90% humidity. It was nearly pure heaven! There was also some concern amongst my family members of if it was appropriate for me to go out alone. Me woman. Totally unable to do anything alone. More on that later.

Wednesday--Spent the morning with Bob at LSU. Shauna, "Angie do you want to go to LSU with your father?" Thinking...Um...no but at least that means I can leave the house. "Yes, mother I'd love to". Then in the afternoon we drove to Baton Rouge and hung out with Bob's cousins Chris and Linda. That was fun. They are both completely insane and so much fun to talk to. During our little chat Linda and I made plans to go to New Orleans together on Saturday and see the city, shop and eat our faces off. Later that night I got a phone call telling me that Chris (her brother) would be accomping us because and I quote, "It really would be safer if he comes with us." After I got off the phone and told my mother that we would be having a male escort I started laughing and told her that I didn't know what was funnier that he was coming or that I really wasn't that surprised or bugged by it.

Thursday--we had a totally awesome family dinner with my dad's brother and sister and their families. It was fantastic to see my cousins Brian and Ron whom I haven't seen since they were really little kids. It was also fun to meet their wives and kids. The highlight of the entire trip was being able to hear Ron's 4 year old daughter Jade sing one of her grandfather's songs. It was so special to sit there and see this amazing little girl sing a song from my uncle who's been dead for 10 years. I loved every single second and there was absolute silence in the room except little Jade's voice. It brought back so many memories of sitting around and listening to Ron sing to us and to listening to his albums over and over and over. I need to find some of those tracks so that I can import them into my iTunes.

Friday--we went on the "Bob tour of Baton Rouge" to see all the random places he's ever lived. They moved A LOT when he was young and some of those places are in very scary neighborhoods. You know the ones with actual dead bodies and regular gun shots. Bob white as white can be riding around the 'hood and not just driving by but actually STOPPING in front of each house and talking. He's been warned many many times not to do so but continues to ignore the advice. We also drove by Baker High School where he graduated and it was literally the scariest thing I've ever seen--and I used to live in the Heights! I think I might finally be a bit of a grown-up because I enjoyed driving around and hearing he and my grandmother talk about the past. Later that night, I was able to spend the evening hanging out with just my grandmother. She had made amazing progress all week and was chipper and fun. We ate dinner and then we watched Deja Vu together. I wanted to see it before I went to New Orleans the next day and she was up for anything. I thought she'd be confused but she was great and really enjoyed the film.

Saturday--was an absolute blast. Chris and Linda picked me up at 9 a.m. and we drove to New Orleans. As soon as we pulled into the city it started raining buckets but it blew over in about half hour and we were able to have a fantastic day. We went to the Riverwalk to do a ton of shopping, ate our faces off, drove all over the city and had an absolute fantastic time. Chris used to live there and so he knew how to navigate the city and was the perfect guide. I will even admit that it was nice to have him there--not because we needed a guy but because he's super cool and totally knew what he was doing and where to go.

Sunday--I hate flying. I hate the Baton Rouge airport and I hate that we missed our flight. I am grateful that after Bob's head nearly exploded on the Delta agent that we were able to get on the last flight out of Atlanta and finally get home.

I had a pretty good time on my vacation. It was so nice to see my family and especially to see my grandmother. I'm glad she's getting better and that I was able to spend some time with her and the rest of my relatives.

Here's some of my favorite quotes from the week:

Beer, helping white men to dance since 1853.

Linda: Ang, there are two openings for hookers on Burbon Street. I put in applications for both of us."

Bob: What are you getting? Angie: A razor blade. Bob: What for? Angie: My wrists. Bob: Ang, we just got here--you should probably wait a couple of days.

Grandma to Bob: Aren't you proud of me--I haven't said anything about your driving.

Bob: want to go to Jimmy Swaggart's church on Sunday?
Angie: I'd rather go there than to a Mormon church.

Bob: Why is that?

Shiz...did I say that out loud?
Angie: Because, um...I already know what that is like...

Annnnnngie

My cousin Chris is obsessed with music. He used to work at my Grandfather's radio station, go on tour with my uncle Ron and owns thousands of CD's. The other day while driving back from New Orleans we were talking about music and here is the basic gist of our conversation...

Chris: Hey, Angie (must be pronounced with a drawn out Southern drawl) has a past boyfriend ever sang your song to you?
Angie: Um...boyfriend, no. Random guys in my life, yes. A few of them feel the need to sing 'my song' every single time that they see me.
Chris: That must be awkward.
Angie: Yup. Especially when it is a random co-worker or even better my dad's Associate Dean.
Chris: Ha!
Angie: I'll know when it's the right guy for me when I find him standing outside my window, dressed in a trench coat, holding a boom box over his head, playing My Song.
Chris: Awesome--Love the reference! Love the song!

Perfect End

I must say that Paper Planes by MIA is the perfect song for the end of a perfect workout.

Love it.

Comb Boy

I'm feeling a little violated right now. I recently started watching SYTYCD (Thanks, M&K) and quite enjoy it. However, I hate the guy with the comb in his hair. Tonight, he did his "solo dance" to one of my favorite Blue October songs. Dang it!

Okay, for real--it is time to stop blogging tonight. I'm writing about random idiots on TV shows...

Classic Bob

So, the other day Bob was with Shauna and dropped off some things at my place. Pretty sure he hasn't been to my house in over a year but he was looking at the memo board by my door with pictures of some of my favorite people and he points to Red Headed Chrissy, Brenda, Shari and Kacee and says, "I know her. I don't know her name. I know her, I don't know her name, I think I've met her, etc. etc. etc..." You get the drift. This is the same Brilliant Bob that after living at 571 for YEARS, one morning while doing the carpool literally didn't know where the Loveland's lived--yeah, you know around the block from our house. Love the Bob.

Found 'Em!

These are the shoes...these are the shoes...

Thanks to Wendi and Snyder for helping me to find them. I'm thinking about getting them in red, black, brown and possibly teal. Don't you think I'd look hot?

P.S. I do know that I'm a wicked witch...

Jumping Jack Flash

On Saturday night my friend Chris and I went to see The Owlz play. While we were waiting for our "food" and I truly use that term loosely we saw the strangest thing...the lovely rednecks from Wyoming that were sitting by us were wearing some freaking odd shoes and I need to know if anyone else has ever seen them and/or knows what they are called.

For real--both the husband and the wife were wearing these shoes that had little mini round trampolines in the heel--attached as a separate piece. Does that even make sense? They were totally hideous and intriguing all at the same time and I'm dying to know what their purpose is. I googled "Trampoline Shoes" but all that came up was actual shoes you can wear on the trampoline--who knew? Has anyone ever seen anything like this? I'm super curious...

**Also, not that it matters but the guy was so white hot that it took ALL I had not to jump him during the game. Oh yeah, baby...UGH! Not at all.

Oxford Comma?

Who gives a frack about an Oxford Comma?

I'm guessing only a couple of my friends will get that line but it makes me giggle like a little kid EVERY single time I hear the lyric...

Wowsa!

Today when I was driving back to work after my lunch break I saw an old guy driving a truck with a trailer attached do a U-turn from the middle lane of North bound State Street all the way to the South bound middle lane. Somehow the many cars behind him and the many cars in the other lane didn't hit him. DAMN! That guy had either some serious guts of steel or was Mr. Oblivious Newton John (Ahhhh, I miss Lancer and his little funny sayings...). Honestly, at what point isn't it just better to cut your losses and go around the block? Just wondering...

Happy Birthday Paul!

Happy Birthday to my favorite brother-in-law! Yes, he is my only brother-in-law but even if I had 20 married sisters he would still be my favorite. This time four years ago I was more than a little bit apprehensive when this Wyoming cowboy swept my sister off her feet and stole her away from me. However, on the day that we were moving Becky to Wyoming, I jokingly asked Paul if he would use his truck and trailer to move all my shiz to New York. He quickly agreed and really actually wanted to do it. I knew from that moment that he was a good guy and that he was perfect for my baby sister. Incidentally, I later found out that Shauna had heard the whole conversation between me and Paul and had the same feeling about him from that moment. Paul is awesome. He makes my list of best husbands every year, he loves my baking and he can fix anything. He's a great husband, father and of course most important of all, the best best best brother-in-law in the world. Happy Birthday, dude. I even forgive the fact that you like Home Improvement...that's how much I adore you.

Heaven, I'm in Heaven...

On Saturday I found Heaven in the form of a cookie. There is a delightful little shop in South Jordan called Over The Top Cookies and let's just say, 'Yum'! They are called "over the top" because there are pieces of candy bar on TOP of the cookies! The lemon is my favorite but the Twix is also mighty delicious. I'm not Sheldon but I'm also not a dummy. I do understand basic physics and I don't know how they do it. The candy is obviously not part of the baking process--if it was then the chocolate would be completely melted. The pieces are stuck on the cookie so at some point during the cooling process the candy is applied but they are totally firm and have perfect shape. I need to practice and see if I can master the art. Anyone up for trying out my creations--I'm sure there will be lots of messes and screw ups.

Next time you're dying for a treat try this little piece of heaven--104th South and Redwood--right behind Cafe Rio!

Frequent Shopper Rewards

I hate them. I hate the punch cards. I hate rewards programs. I hate the stupid little tags for my key chain. I hate that I am required to carry around a wallet full of crap. It doesn't make me feel better to keep track of points at EVERY single place I shop. I could care less if I get a free soda after I purchase 400 of them. Just lower your damn prices overall and stop with the points and punches and cards. Now that I've said how much I hate it I will admit that I do in fact have a couple: one to Paradise Bakery, one for the grocery store and one for Borders but I feel like a hypocrite every single time I use them. The woman who works at the Lindon Walker's is determined to get me to sign up for rewards card. Here is a recap of a zillion of our conversations:

Way too Chipper for 7:45 a.m. Woman: Hi, do you have a rewards card?
Angie: Nope.
Way too Chipper for 7:45 a.m. Woman: Do you want one?
Angie: Nope.

You can replay that conversation over and over and over....

Here's the latest:

Way too Chipper for Any Time of the Day Woman: Do you have...oh, you're that girl who won't get one...
Angie: Yup.

In my defense I'm way nice to her but I just don't bloody want a card. I can't commit to one more thing on my key chain. For a while I stopped going there because I couldn't stand to have the same conversation over and over but I started going again because I get a perverse pleasure out of seeing how far into her spiel she gets before she realizes it is me. Sick and twisted--that's me!

Co-Exist?

On Saturday I was driving back to the UC and saw a car with the above sticker. I've had some issues lately with intolerance of all kinds and I hate bumper stickers with white hot passion but I really want to get this for my car--for now I will just settle for blogging about it. For me I wish for a land where we can all live together, respect each other and basically get along. I did some research and here is a pretty good description of what the symbols mean. I borrowed the following from Amy Bowman who used to write for Boise State:

Allow me to clarify their meaning - the star and crescent are recognized as a symbol for Islam. It was historically associated with the use of a cyclical moon calendar and the Ottoman Dynasty, coming to symbolize Islam by association. The peace sign was designed by artist Gerald Holtom in Britain for the Campaign for Nuclear Disarmament. It first showed up in the form of 500 lollipops in an anti-nuclear march in 1958 in London and was quickly adopted by Martin Luther King Jr. during the Civil Rights Movement. The "E" with Mars and Venus symbols protruding from it symbolized gender equality, with "E" representing general equality. The star of David is the primary symbol of Judaism, an ancient symbol of one of the oldest documented religions. The "I" represents the Buddhist dharma wheel, or dharmachakra. "S" is transformed into yin and yang, the Taoist symbol of the interplay of forces in the universe, conveying a universal equilibrium. Finally, the "T," or Latin cross of Christianity, symbolizes Christ's crucifixion. The original cross was the Greek cross, which looks like a plus sign, and represents the four directions of the earth, signifying the intention to spread the gospel in all directions.

Iggy, I Miss You

My boyfriend died last night. We've had a good run of it--nearly four years of being together every single day. He's with me all the time: In the car, at work, at home, shopping, traveling, exercising, etc. etc. etc. I even take him to bed with me at least several times a week.

I love him.
I worship him.
I can't function without him.

His name was Iggy and he was my iPod. Iggy and I met in March 2006 when I bought him as a "I got a job" gift to myself and we've been together every day since then. He's definitely been more loyal than any other guy I've encountered so I'm not entirely sure how I will survive without him.

I miss him already.

Sweet Baylee Welcome to the World

Sweet Baylee was born today.

She's so tiny and pretty and will be the most spoiled little sister ever!

She has four big brothers and lots of boy cousins.

Here she is with Zack who already loves her so much.

Help!

Oh, Sweet Moses, my brain is going to explode! I haven't been able to check my E-mail since 7:30 this morning due to some AWESOME new restrictions at my work and now I am HOME and the damn thing won't work. I know I'm not the leader of the free world, a heart surgeon or really anyone important but I've been cut off ALL day and if I can't check my mail in the next couple of minutes my head might actually spin off. Agh!!

ComeUndone.GirlsOnFilm.TheReflex.HungryLikeTheWolf

On Wednesday one of my friends told us that "our" boyfriend John Taylor from Duran Duran was going to be on Samantha Who. I never watch that show but set the DVR so I could see if my boyfriend still looks as great as he did when we were both a lot younger. All week my friends and I compared sightings and stories of running into John and Simon--from Soho to Studio City. I was enjoying the stories but feeling bad about how I live in Never Never Land and never had a John or Simon sighting but then I remembered my own John sighting. It was 1994 or 1995 (Kimmie...which one?) and I remember John playing the bass and staring across a field and looking into my eyes. No, I'm not a crazy person. Okay, I am a crazy person but what girl hasn't fantasized about falling for a rock star? Whether it was Bruce or John or George or Heyward or even Jon Bon Jovi there's something that happens to a girl when she listens to the song that brings back all the memories of youth and happiness and of a time when life was a lot less dreadful. Back to a time when we had posters on our wall of our favorite rock stars and sat on the floor with our girlfriends and listened to the same song over and over and over--yeah, that could have been last week for me. Or, even somewhat recently, horribly embarrassing yourself with Brandon Flowers' sister. Don't ever get in an argument with a rock star's sister...you'll regret it forever.

Why is it that there is no Duran Duran on my iPod? I think I need to download some music, turn out the lights and pretend that it is 1986 and that my lover is singing to me. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

P.S. Johnny, you look amazing!

My First Time

Last night I had a date with a super awesome 7.5 year old. Originally the plan was to pick up Skyler at his house and take him to dinner and then do a photo shoot to try out some of the things I learned again last week at my photo class. However, when I got to his house he mentioned that it would be fun if we could see a movie too. I told him that we could run by the theater and see what was playing and if there wasn't anything to see then we could do it another night and take his brothers.

Sky: But, when you go on dates with my brothers all by themselves you always go to a movie...I've never been to a movie with just you.
Ang: Guilt--guilt--guilt--the true gift for a middle child. True. Okay, let's go see what is playing.

So, we went to the theater and got tickets to see Night at the Museum. He picked the movie because, "I've seen it and it is really funny!" Not really my idea of a good time but nothing I would want to see is a 7-year old appropriate so I was okay with his choice.

After the movie on the drive home after thanking me for the evening (he's so freaking cute) we had the following conversation:

Skyler: This is the first time I've been in a mini car.
Ang: A mini car?
Skyler: Yeah, this is the smallest car I've ever been in.
Ang: Ha ha. Really?
Skyler: Yep. I've been in an Excursion, a bunch of different trucks, my mom's Hummer, a mini van, etc. etc. etc.

I laughed the whole way home. Yeah, I don't drive a "mini car". It's a freaking Toyota Corolla. Not huge, not Hummeresque but still a "normal car". Right? Gotta love those Cedar Hills kids!

Chaddy.Angie.Paislee at

Daniel and Mallory's Wedding

Someone Loves Me--or at Least Loves Someone with my Name!

The other day one of my colleagues called me and told me that on her way to work she saw a sign on the overpass in AF that said:

I *Heart* Angie!

I've driven past it a few times but I'm always alone so I can't take a picture. Even if it's not for me it makes me grin to think that at least someone with my name is loved!

Quirky Phone

My phone has this weird little quirk and when someone sends me a picture it tells me that I have one but it doesn't say from whom. Usually I can guess or at least narrow it down. For instance when I received the picture of a real dog with Disney Stickers all over him I narrowed it down to Linds and Snyder...and then correctly guessed Linds. Of course last year when I received the Virgin Mary Barbie doll I wasn't able to guess who it was from--I have more than one twisted friend....

The other day I got the best one yet...apparently you an buy framed art at the Post Office. Really? You're standing in line to send a package and you think...oh, sure, I'll buy a fine picture for my living room? Really? I don't know who it is from but I love love love it! Thanks for the laugh--I giggle out loud every time I think about it.

Wacky Weather

All I have to say is that it is June 18th and I'm wearing a sweater...

You Vinyl People

You vinyl people--you know who you are. I know you all know how I feel about this issue but it is getting out of hand. Today, I drove behind a car that had the family, their NAMES and vinyl stickers of their kids favorite activities. You people are making it way too easy for predators to kidnap your kids. Maybe I watch too much TV but telling the world that Little Cindy likes ballet and Johnny likes tennis and puppies is really kind of stupid.

Project: My Boss' Birthday Cake

After tonight I may never bake again....

5:00--go to Albertson's to buy milk and unsweetened chocolate.
5:15--go home whip up chocolate chocolate cake batter--tastes a little off but can't put finger on it so "let it go" and keep working.
5:30 --put the giant cupcake pan in the oven to bake.
5:35--do dishes because the recipe requires that EVERY bowl in the house be used and I needed them to make the frosting.
5:45--begin making frosting.
6:00--check on giant cupcake--not even close to be done baking. Hmmm...
6:20--still not close to be done baking. Hate that damn pan, take it out of the oven and fill regular sized cupcake liners with the rest of the batter.
6:25--put cupcakes in the oven to bake.
6:45--take cupcakes out of oven. They are small and hard looking nubs. Hmmm....
FREAKING REALIZE that I didn't use baking soda! Freak out for five minutes. Grab purse and keys and run to the store...
6:55--go to Allen's and buy butter, cupcake liners and dish soap. Walk to the car and then realize I might not have any more cake flour and brown sugar, so I run back into the store and get those things.
7:15--get home and start again.
10:00--can't really tell if they taste okay because I'm too dang tired and I don't love chocolate cake so not sure.

Ugh...I really hope he likes them. Bloody hell--I may never bake again.

P.S. The only good thing about this is that I got to go to Albertson's...there are some really fine looking men that work at the 1600 North store.

May You Go Home Pregnant

Last week while Bob and Shauna were in Turkey,

they spent some time shopping for rugs and kept

telling this one annoying salesman,

"No thank you, no thank you, no thank you..."

to which he finally looked at my dad and said,

"No thank you" in a sarcastic voice and then looked

at my mother, gave her the E-vil Eye and said,

"May you go home pregnant".

Honestly, that's quite possibly the meanest thing he could say to her.

Hopefully it doesn't come to pass although given

that the rest of the females in my family

(except for me) are currently knocked up

I guess it is a possiblity...

Ideas?

I've been on "the hunt" for a new vinyl saying for my kitchen. Nothing cheesy, nothing cliched--something a little bit fun, a little bit snarky and like me--in a word--different. For some reason I think "Sugar Whore" might not be appropriate and might be considered "snotty" by my landlord. The other day Stacy (landlord) was asking me what I was going to put on the wall and I said I'd been trying to come up with something fun and like me and non-cliched and she said, "Oh, you mean snotty..." Even though normally her incredibly rude comment would "force" me into putting something truly obscene on the wall I'm thinking I'll pass on naughty and stick with something fun.

Anyway, tonight when Red Headed Chrissy and I were at STF I saw a T-shirt that said,

"My Life is a Kick-A Fairytale".

I think that might be what I'm looking for or at least leading me in the right direction. I'm interested in what you guys think I should put on the sign. Thoughts?

It's So Pretty

Okay, so I bake bread every week and the loaves always taste really good but they usually look kinda ugly. However, tonight when I made bread I had a loaf that looks like...

It's so pretty!

The Freaky Eye Twins

Today Becky, Zacky and Unborn Fetus came to visit me at work. We had a little picnic at my desk and while we were eating I noticed the funniest thing. Not only does sweet, fabulous, adorable, precious Zacky have my EXACT same birthmark in the EXACT same place on his forehead but he also does the same 'freaky eye thing' that I do. We were eating and he looked up at me and for the first time I was able to see the thing that I do all the time. I can't "do it on command" but apparently if my head is down and I glance up, my eyes do this thing that freaks out many of 'my people'. It really is quite creepy but also fantastic that Zacky does it too! I knew he was my fav for a reason--shhhh, don't tell Brayden, Jaxon, Sky, Jordie, Bells and Cam.

Stuff I'd Rather Do...

This afternoon I was informed that my presence was requested at a client lunch tomorrow. I'd really rather eat my hair than make small talk with some of these people--especially since I will be the only female in attendance--although given my current thoughts on the "gentler sex" maybe it will be better to go to lunch with all guys. Tonight, I'm sitting here dreading the lunch and thinking of all the things I'd rather do than dress up (on jean day no less...) and attend the luncheon.

Stuff I'd rather do:
*Get the actual plague
*Eat my hair
*Go to the eye doctor
*Sit through a HC talk
*Do my laundry
*Case Study Day in GH
*Listen to Called to Serve played over and over and over by a 10 year old
*Eat at Olive Garden or Happy Sumo
*Listen to Susan Sarandon accept an Oscar

Stuff that is worse than a client lunch:
*Camping
*Attend a training at my work--you guys know what I'm talking about...
*Enrichment
*Pride & Prejudice
*Playing Foosball with my bosses--it is truly humiliating how bad I am at Foosball.
*Watching Titanic
*Skill Day
*Dentist

Sugar and Spice

It is said that girls are "sugar and spice and everything nice..." Apparently the person who first said those words had never actually met one. Girls are witches. They're mean, bossy, vindictive and hateful--oh and they remember things for an eternity. Also they get worse the older they get--I think it is all the practice that they got on a daily basis in Junior High School. I'm sure I'm just speaking theoretically.

I don't have any actual experience TODAY with any of this.

Funnies

Funnies from the last week...

**Everyone who eats with me knows that I eat my food in a weird way...I take things apart and eat them a piece at a time. Last Saturday night at JCW's, Jeremy looked at my food and said, "Ang, did you drop your burger?" Um...no. Totally ridiculously embarrassing.

**Lunch at Taco Amigo on Monday.
Male friend: Squirming in his chair..."Ugh...I totally know what you girls go through."
Me and Female friend: "Huh?"
Male Friend: "These jeans are too tight. My wallet is in the truck because I can't put it in my pocket and when I wear these pants I can only put the key chain in my pocket--not all of my keys".
Me and Female Friend: Much laughter...

**Hanging out with Adi, Luke and Pais.
Luke: Can we go play outside?
Ang: No, it's time for bed.
Luke: Our other babysitter let's us play outside.
Ang: Not after you've had a bath and are in your PJ's.
Luke: Yeah.

**I went to pick Steve up for dinner on Tuesday and we asked Bob if he wanted to come with us...
Ang: Do you want to come with us?
Bob: You're going to have Thai food aren't you?
Ang: Probably.
Bob: I don't like Thai food.
Ang: Have you ever had it? Have you ever been with someone who knows what to order?
Bob: Yes, with some returned missionaries. I don't like it.
Ang: Missionaries eat dogs. They don't know what is good...
Bob: Will you stop at that sandwich place over there (pointing South), the one that starts with an "O".
I was fully aware that there is no sandwich place on State Street that starts with an "O". Steve and I went to Thai Chili Gardens--had a delicious dinner and then proceeded to drive down State Street looking for the non-existent sandwich place. Eventually, we decided he had to be talking about Quiznos so I stopped there and got something. After I dropped Steve off with the sandwich for Bob I received the following text:
Steve: We were right, I guess QUIZNOS starts with an "O" these days.

Mostly, I often wonder how can someone so brilliant about so many things can be so not brilliant about little things? Hmmm. Love you, Bobby Brown.

**Conversation between Ang and Adi about our upcoming Lagoon day.
Ang: Ads, you excited to go to Lagoon?
Adi: Yes, but I will not go on that scary ride this year.
Ang: Come on...you can do it. You're a whole year older now and it won't be scary.
Adi: I was 6 1/2 last year. I will not go on that ride.
Ang: But now you are 7 1/2 -- I think you should ride it again with me and your mom.
Adi: No way.

Ugly Naked Guy

I'm beginning to think that society believes it is totally appropriate for big, ugly, fat guys to go outside in their underwear. Okay, maybe not society. Maybe it is just the Ugly Practically Naked Guy who lives around the corner from me. Every time I drive down the street towards my house I see him..most of him. Ugh!!

The Zack Seal of Approval

Apparently Zack approves of the Red Velvet Cupcakes...

He went "head first" into the cake

and even had frosting on his eye.

Nice!

I LOVE Jim Halpert

Spoiler...

Tonight I finally caught up on The Office and watched the finale.

Best, best, best reaction by a guy ever on TV goes to my boyfriend Jim.

Never loved him more than at this moment.

Best reaction.

Ever.

Update

It is May and I'd like to report that the Griswolds have FINALLY taken down their heinous Christmas lights. Or maybe I should call them "Winter Lights" because they just took them down and they were turned on until Valentine's Day. Although, now I need a new landmark to tell people where I live.

Life...

Life is good.

Amen.

Short List of Favorite Little People

More than once I've been accused of hating kids. I don't hate kids. I just don't love all of them for no reason. Those that I love I love with all my heart. There is NOTHING as sweet as an unsolicited hug. Nothing as wonderful as seeing a kid run across the room and jump into your arms. On a funny note, nothing quite as awesome as having a kid take food off your plate, put it in their mouth and then take it out and put it in your hand. Or, even better having one of the sweetest, cutest little people throw up all over you. I really do love kids.

Random comments from some of my favorite little people:

Eli: Mom, who's the nicest person at your work? I think it is Angie.

Pais: You come to my house tonight?

Luke: Our other babysitter lets us play outside.
Adilynn: Where do you put CD's in this car?

Brayden.Jaxon.Skyler.Jordan.Camden.Bella.Zack.Adilynn.Luke. Paislee.Eli.Lexi.Ella.Annah.Abbie.

There are other little people that I adore but these are the ones that for me can turn a frown upside down and can make me grin just thinking about them. These are the ones I'd walk through fire for, slay dragons for and maybe even go to church for.

Define Irony?

When the actual meaning is the direct opposite of the implied meaning...

Or, when Angie is purposely watching a football game with tears streaming down her face. No, the world has not ended or at least not yet. I've been a huge fan since the beginning but last night I started re-watching Friday Night Lights and it's been so much fun. Even though I know basically how each episode will end it is still so much fun to watch everything else for the second time. Riggins, Matty, Coach and Tammy Taylor, Lyla, Tyra, Jason, even Smash. Love them all!

Love.

All American Reject

Tonight I got stood up. Not a travesty. Not a big deal. Not even entirely a surprise--I think if I'm counting accurately this is strike 4 or 5 for this person. In baseball a person gets 3 strikes and then they are out. I am annoyed for all of the obvious reasons but also because I cut short my "Girls Day" so that I could run home and meet this friend. At what point do we get 'used' to rejection? I'm not just talking about romantic relationships. There are many ways to get rejected: at work, with friends, family, romantically, etc. etc. etc. Ironically, I've discussed this same topic with the Stander Upper but I don't think this person thinks of it as actually standing me up. I tried a couple of other friends but it was too late to make plans with people on a Saturday night so I ended up taking a 'mini road trip' and driving up the canyon to this cute little place that serves amazing dessert. Now, I'm home, in my PJ's, sitting on the sofa, getting ready to eat my cake and watch one of my favorite movies--Singles. Just thinking about this movie makes me grin. So many good quotes. So many great relationshipy lines: "Have fun, stay single"; "I'm 23. Remember how old 23 seemed when you were little? I thought people would be traveling in air locks and I would have five kids. Here I am, 23, things are basically the same"; "I think time is running out to do something truly bizarre. By 25 bizarre seems immature..."; "I just happened to be nowhere near your neighborhood"; "That's a very nice hat you're wearing...and I don't mean it in an Eddie Haskell kind of a way"; and my all time favorite, "If I had a personal relationship with God I would ask him to create this girl".

Speaking of rejection, today I found out that my sweet, wonderful, adorable friend LJ got dumped last week by her very long term boyfriend. She's been having a really rough time and wasn't able to come out with us today--I really just want to give her the biggest hug, instead I'm making her a "Boys Suck" CD Mix--mostly of 'Girl Power' songs (thanks, Kimmie). I love some of these songs and even though they can't heal a broken heart they can help you feel a little bit better and even smile occasionally.

Music=Greatest Tool to Happiness?

I love music. I really really love music. I'm that girl who takes her iPod to the store when she's shopping. I'm the girl who falls asleep listening to her tunes. I'm that girl who's still ticked off that the ass hats at the car place stole her car adapter forcing her to listen to the radio. I'm the girl who left her iPod at home yesterday and spent 1/2 the day in silence and the second 1/2 of the day trying to make Pandora not suck so much. As much as I love music and as much pleasure as it gives me I'm going to have to disagree with something I learned in my weekly department meeting. Today, we were told that music does the same thing for you "happiness wise" as food and sex. Okay, here's the thing...I love food. I love music. There's no way that the third thing belongs in a category with the other two--not even close. I'm guessing someone isn't doing something right...

P.S. Speaking of being forced to listen to the radio in the car...tonight I heard a song and thought, "Hmmm, that's a good song..." and then discovered it was by Lifehouse. Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Truly Random Thoughts for the Sabbath

*I just heard a very disturbed (on a TV show) child describe the Sleeping Beauty fairytale in the most honest way ever. YES, that story is crap. "The spell was for 100 years and he shows up on the last day and takes credit for saving her!" I think if we were in GH right now Scottie would give that girl a "Brilliant and/or Insightful" comment.

*5 Guys Burgers and Fries was quite good. The burgers are as good as anything I can get in Utah. Not as good as Shake Shack but good enough. The fries...yummy!

*Last night this weird little awkward waitress asked us if we wanted bread sticks with our dessert. Um...I think I'll pass on eating chocolate cake and tiramisu with garlic bread sticks. Also, she looked at my necklace and asked, "Oh, your necklace...what does the 'A' stand for?" Honestly, did she really think it meant anything other than my name? Really? I guess I could be Hester Prynne and it could be a scarlet "A". Except that it is black and silver so maybe not.

*The cable has been out at my house for a couple of days. No biggie except that also meant that the DVR was unavailable. I freaked out for a minute and then decided I could be a grown-up and finish two of the books I've been reading.

*Speaking of reading. I've been having trouble focusing lately and haven't really had any desire to read. This morning I finished two books that were really good but right now I'm dying for something amazing. Something that I can't wait to get back to. Something that I can curl up on the sofa on a Sunday (right this second) and devour. I'm super happy that the reading bug is back. Yay!

*I know I blogged about this a week or so ago but I really really love Blue October's new album. Really.

*Still in a really good mood. Totally pretending as if tomorrow is not Monday.

A Hunk, a Hunk of Burning Love

It’s true—Elvis was right—all you need is a hunk, a hunk of burning love…

This week sucked. A lot. I’ve not slept in days, I’m worried about some stuff at work, I made the world’s worst and ugliest cupcakes for a very important event—and cupcakes are my thing—I can freaking make them in my sleep. I also read something on a friend’s blog that has brought back a lot of hurt and sadness and feelings from fall 2007. Things that I really thought I’d gotten over. Anyway, it’s been a crappy week. The tide started to turn last night at 7:19. I was in my PJ’s, feeling sad, and not at all excited about spending another Friday night alone when I got a call from some friends who wanted me to go to dinner with them. (Thanks guys, I had a truly delightful evening) Then, this morning I woke up to the screaming psycho (Ie: toddler) who lives upstairs and after checking my E-mail, I decided to play around on You Tube.

When I clicked on the You Tube button on my phone it showed the last thing I’d watched (from last summer…) Zantar! There I was, in bed, barely awake, giggling and laughing and feeling so very happy. I need to mention that every woman in NYC is in love with him. Yes, I took a poll and the 4 million women of the greater New York area are obsessed with Zantar. There’s nothing not to like starting of course with the green shorts and goggles but also, he’s sweet, and cute, and so funny and he’s done everything. He’s had a million jobs: he was a Marine and used to work for Wes Anderson who of course I think is brilliant. First, I watched the “Valentine Special”—my former favorite Zantar music video--mostly because it was a gift that year from him to all of us. Then, I watched “Oh My Sweetness” my second favorite. After smiling and giggling and feeling so great I saw that there was a new one…holy shiz….the mother lode: “Economic Stimulus Package”. Again, there I am, laying in bed giggling, smiling like a crazy person and my mind racing from one Zantar memory to another: Zantar’s birthday party at that sketchy Mexican place in East Harlem: me, Amanda, 30 girls with Zantar. Running into him all over the city and always getting the biggest hugs and smiles. Mandy’s birthday party where he and I were the only sober people and still having the best time ever, how fun it was at work when we “discovered” him and all the fun we had watching his videos over and over and over. Originally hiding them from Anne so she would still hire him for a special spot and then giving in and finding out that of course she loved them. AND THEN I NOTICED that the video was filmed in MY HOUSE. That’s my TV, my red sofa, my STUFF! Ah, the sex sofa. There’s really nothing like waking up in the morning and seeing a naked Korean guy on your sofa. Although, thinking about the look on Shane’s face that night as we were sitting on the sofa and I told him about it and then even better thinking about Meredith running into Naked Korean Guy in the bathroom the next morning. PRICELESS! Good times. Great fun.

So, now, it is hours later and I’m still grinning and dancing around my kitchen. Not even the weather has put a damper on my mood. Not the fact that I had to go to Wal-mart on a Saturday. Not being forced to listen to Dave Matthews Band on the radio. Nothing. Today is going to be a great day. I’m not going to worry about life or anything and just think about my friend and smile ‘til it hurts! Watch the videos, see my friend, see my former possessions and know that it’s true—all you need to turn a crappy week into the best day ever is a hunk, a hunk of burning love!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z9fz2kD92_U