The Big Easy--Is that Me or the City?

Here's my travelogue. It's long. It's probably boring. If I was super spesh I would get up in church and share it with everyone...

Monday afternoon 12:40ish Bob and Shauna picked me up to go to the airport and I discovered that Steve had bailed on the trip. I was pretty bugged because he was going to be my buffer--you know the thing that kept me sane and kept me from killing anyone.

10:00 p.m. CST--arrive at the Baton Rouge International Airport. I literally do not know how they can all it that. There are like 6 gates in the entire place. When we arrived at the car rental place we discovered that there was only a mini van left. Not to be all Seinfeldy but what exactly is the point of taking the reservation if you can't keep it. That's okay because in the next 6 days the van turned out to be just as sexist as everyone else I encountered during my stay in lovely Louisiana. The car would only open the doors to the side if Bob pushed the buttons. I swear it's true! I'm not making this up. The freak show car would not let me or Shauna out unless Bobby Brown pushed the button. It was so frustrating and terribly hilarious all at the same time. There was a point on Wednesday when I had mentally decided to stop making anti-sexist references but the van pushed me over the edge when Shauna had to crawl into the front just to escape the car.

Tuesday--spent the entire day trapped in the house. I was seconds from completely losing my mind at 4:30 when I asked nicely if I could take the car and drive around for a few minutes before Bob's friends came over to dinner. I also went for a walk/run Tuesday night. I will never complain about exercising in Utah ever again. It was 90ish degrees and at least 90% humidity. It was nearly pure heaven! There was also some concern amongst my family members of if it was appropriate for me to go out alone. Me woman. Totally unable to do anything alone. More on that later.

Wednesday--Spent the morning with Bob at LSU. Shauna, "Angie do you want to go to LSU with your father?" Thinking...Um...no but at least that means I can leave the house. "Yes, mother I'd love to". Then in the afternoon we drove to Baton Rouge and hung out with Bob's cousins Chris and Linda. That was fun. They are both completely insane and so much fun to talk to. During our little chat Linda and I made plans to go to New Orleans together on Saturday and see the city, shop and eat our faces off. Later that night I got a phone call telling me that Chris (her brother) would be accomping us because and I quote, "It really would be safer if he comes with us." After I got off the phone and told my mother that we would be having a male escort I started laughing and told her that I didn't know what was funnier that he was coming or that I really wasn't that surprised or bugged by it.

Thursday--we had a totally awesome family dinner with my dad's brother and sister and their families. It was fantastic to see my cousins Brian and Ron whom I haven't seen since they were really little kids. It was also fun to meet their wives and kids. The highlight of the entire trip was being able to hear Ron's 4 year old daughter Jade sing one of her grandfather's songs. It was so special to sit there and see this amazing little girl sing a song from my uncle who's been dead for 10 years. I loved every single second and there was absolute silence in the room except little Jade's voice. It brought back so many memories of sitting around and listening to Ron sing to us and to listening to his albums over and over and over. I need to find some of those tracks so that I can import them into my iTunes.

Friday--we went on the "Bob tour of Baton Rouge" to see all the random places he's ever lived. They moved A LOT when he was young and some of those places are in very scary neighborhoods. You know the ones with actual dead bodies and regular gun shots. Bob white as white can be riding around the 'hood and not just driving by but actually STOPPING in front of each house and talking. He's been warned many many times not to do so but continues to ignore the advice. We also drove by Baker High School where he graduated and it was literally the scariest thing I've ever seen--and I used to live in the Heights! I think I might finally be a bit of a grown-up because I enjoyed driving around and hearing he and my grandmother talk about the past. Later that night, I was able to spend the evening hanging out with just my grandmother. She had made amazing progress all week and was chipper and fun. We ate dinner and then we watched Deja Vu together. I wanted to see it before I went to New Orleans the next day and she was up for anything. I thought she'd be confused but she was great and really enjoyed the film.

Saturday--was an absolute blast. Chris and Linda picked me up at 9 a.m. and we drove to New Orleans. As soon as we pulled into the city it started raining buckets but it blew over in about half hour and we were able to have a fantastic day. We went to the Riverwalk to do a ton of shopping, ate our faces off, drove all over the city and had an absolute fantastic time. Chris used to live there and so he knew how to navigate the city and was the perfect guide. I will even admit that it was nice to have him there--not because we needed a guy but because he's super cool and totally knew what he was doing and where to go.

Sunday--I hate flying. I hate the Baton Rouge airport and I hate that we missed our flight. I am grateful that after Bob's head nearly exploded on the Delta agent that we were able to get on the last flight out of Atlanta and finally get home.

I had a pretty good time on my vacation. It was so nice to see my family and especially to see my grandmother. I'm glad she's getting better and that I was able to spend some time with her and the rest of my relatives.

Here's some of my favorite quotes from the week:

Beer, helping white men to dance since 1853.

Linda: Ang, there are two openings for hookers on Burbon Street. I put in applications for both of us."

Bob: What are you getting? Angie: A razor blade. Bob: What for? Angie: My wrists. Bob: Ang, we just got here--you should probably wait a couple of days.

Grandma to Bob: Aren't you proud of me--I haven't said anything about your driving.

Bob: want to go to Jimmy Swaggart's church on Sunday?
Angie: I'd rather go there than to a Mormon church.

Bob: Why is that?

Shiz...did I say that out loud?
Angie: Because, um...I already know what that is like...