The Office

There are no words to describe how much I love The Office. Here are some of my favorite quotes from tonight...

Dwight: She introduced me to so many things: pasteurized milk, sheets, Monotheism, presents on your birthday, preventative medicines.
Phyllis: It’s nice to learn new things.
Dwight: I’m just talking to myself.
Phyllis: Okay.
Dwight: I just don’t get it.
Phyllis: What don’t you get?
Dwight: Why is she marrying Andy?
Phyllis: Angela is not really a risk taker and Andy is not really a risk.
Dwight: (welling up with tears) That’s really fattening.
Phyllis: No, it’s just lettuce.

Oscar: They stole my laptop
Kevin: Well, they stole my surge protector.
Oscar: How does that even compare?
Kevin: Oscar, I’m now going to be prone to surges.

Michael: So much for sex without consequences.

Creed: Nobody steals from Creed Bratton and gets away with it. The last person who did this disappeared. His name: Creed Bratton.

Michael: To recoup their losses I’m planning a little charity auction where people from all over Scranton can come and bid on our goods and services. I’m calling it Crime Aid. That’s like Farm Aid but instead of Farms fighting against AIDS it is us fighting against our own poverty.

Michael: Welcome to C.R.I.M.E. A.I.D: Crime Reduces Innocence Makes Everyone Angry I Declare. It is not known how many office robberies occur every second because there is no Wikipedia entry for office robbery statistics. However, tonight it's victims are standing together and standing strong in the form of Song, Cooking Lessons and Hugs. Really, Phyllis, you're auctioning a hug?

Darrell: Mike gave me a list of his top 10 Springsteen songs. Three of them were Huey Lewis and the News, one was Tracy Chapman's Fast Car, and my personal favorite, Short People.