BC = H.O.T

I'm really quite certain that Bradley Cooper could not possibly be hotter than he is right now.

That's all.

I promise.

Taking a Moment

I rarely watch commercials but the other night while I was re-watching a favorite Modern Family episode and busily wrapping gifts I saw a Dove candy bar commercial that had some really great advice for all my women friends out there...

We're only human but we try to be perfect. We pretend that high heels are comfortable and that waxing just takes getting used to. We pretend that we can manage anything that's thrown at us and sometimes we can and other times we just have to cut ourselves some slack and take a moment.

Here's to a great 2011 of being honest with ourselves, acknowledging that we are real women and taking all the moments we need to be happy healthy and wise.

Holiday Summary 2010

This holiday season has been wonderfully filled with all sorts of activities: cheesy holiday movies (even the Lifetime TV/ABC Family ones), holiday parties, baking, looking at lights, shopping for people I know and some that I don't. Work fundraiser for Food Bank (yay) which I got to happily drop off and see the good in action, Hot Coco and homemade pretzels and walking around temple square with friends, an actual christmas tree in my living room, the bestest ever 'Friends Christmas Dinner', and all kinds of other fun. I'm super excited to celebrate the actual day with my family tomorrow and to look forward to an even better 2011. Many Christmas wishes to all of you at this the 'Most Wonderful Time of the Year'.

My tree. Yes I actually have a tree this year.

Nick Dani Patrick at Brunch before

Craft Sabbath December

Mel Jeff Ang

Mel and Jeff

Leslie Brandon

Casey Sarah Tory

Mel and Dani at Ramstack's Holiday party

Yum yum in my tum tum.
Bake Fest 2010

RHC and Jess at Bake Fest

More goodies

and more...it is really quite disturbing how many treats we made.

Ang and Ju at White Christmas

Mel and boys at party

Ang and Nick at Party

Ang Kenzie and JoJo at Cousins Party

Gorgeous lights at Temple Square

Nick and Jeff

Tory Patrick Mel Nick Dani and Jeff

and then there's me.

So much to be grateful for. Happiness and love all around.

Cookies for Jesus

Today was an incredibly busy but exceptionally wonderful day. I saw lots of friends and loved ones wished many a Merry Christmas and even saw a couple of movies: one with my friend-family and one with my real family. Right now I'm curled up on my sofa watching Love Actually which I consider to be the best Christmas movie ever and eating my delicious homemade bread pudding. I'm quite sure that life can barely get better than this. I've been fortunate to be able to spread joy and cheer in different ways and to celebrate this holiday with so many of the wonderful people in my life. I feel more blessed and loved this holiday season than I ever have in my life.

Earlier this evening after the tiny humans did the traditional Nativity story/scene Grandma asked each of them what gift they could give to Jesus this year. The big kids all said that they could show love to their families but one of the tiniest looked at her and said he could give cookies to Jesus. So for everyone out there in their own special way give cookies to Jesus this year and keep him in your thoughts.

Prayers for Mia's Family

I have this friend. Her name is Lori and we've been friends since we were four years old. For those of you inclined towards math that's a really long time. Our parents are super close, most of their kids are the same ages as ours, Lori's big sisters used to be my babysitters and her sister Ami was meant to marry my brother Mike. Sure they were kids but still it was a big deal. Our friendship has definitely had its ups and downs but we are the kind of friends who will always have a bond--Lori is that friend for me that helped define my childhood. When I think of Tallahassee I immediately think of Lori and her family and thanks to the goodness of Facebook we've all reconnected in the last few years. On Saturday afternoon after my major meltdown-post-failed photo shoot-disaster I sat in my car trying to avoid bursting into tears and checked my E-mail and found a whole different reason to cry. One of my messages was from Lori telling her friends about her cousin Mia who had been kidnapped and was still missing. She was asking for those outside of the Florida area to be on the lookout and also to keep Mia in our prayers. All weekend I checked my E-mail and Facebook constantly waiting for updates and good news. I read an article about the search and Mia's mom was quoted as saying that she was so stunned that at a time when gas prices were so high and people were so busy that thousands of people were out driving and looking for her daughter--that they'd already had their Christmas miracle of seeing their community come together.

Unfortunately this story ends terribly and this morning my mom called to tell me that they had found Mia's body and were able to identify her via dental records. My heart aches for my friends and for their loss and I wish so much I could be there to wrap my arms around them and to help take away their pain. I can't run away to Florida but I can do one thing. I can pray for their family to have peace and I can pray for other kinds of Christmas miracles. If you read this and are someone who prays maybe you too can pray for my friends and for some of their pain to be lifted.

The Dress

Several months ago I borrowed a dress from my friend Z for a wedding I had to attend. It was an awesome dress and looked spectacular on me. After the wedding I looked all over for it and finally found it in a size smaller on e-Bay. Brand new. Tags still on and so I bought it and I love it -- there is only one problem: it doesn't quite fit. I can wear it (I did wear it to a funeral in May) with a jacket but the zipper doesn't go up all the way. I hate that even though it is my actual size it doesn't fit so I've been desperately trying to rectify the situation. Last month my colleague LD and I joined a gym and I've been working out five days a week to reach my goal of wearing my dress to a special dinner party on December 23rd. 10 more days. I have 10 more days to do what I've got to do to get into that dress.

Trying to stay motivated.

Trying so hard to avoid treats.

Trying to kick butt at the gym so that my actual butt gets smaller.

Birthday Bash

This had been a really great year and so to celebrate I decided to throw myself a party at my favorite place in The UC --The Chocolate Dessert Cafe. I invited everyone and asked that instead of gifts they donate a can of food for every year that they'd known me as a donation to the Utah Food Bank. It was amazing to have so many of the people that I love in the same place at the same time and was a wonderfully overwhelming and yet fantastic evening.

Tiffy and Nick (he's a really good egg)

Cherie Wendi and Ang

Mmm Mmm Good!

Spouse (not mine) won a prize.

Becky and Paul

Mike and Kacee

Bob

Brenda Mom and Kris

Casey and Brandon

Cali and Geoff

Stacy and Dave

Jess and RHC

Ju Kim and Tina

Kim and Steph

The adorable Larsen's

Me and Ju

Ang and the only Tiny Human invited to my party.

Me and Shane

Ang and Tina

Mikey and Susie

Mom and Mike

Dani Tory Patrick Casey Brandon and Nick

(Dallin and Jeff seem to be missing)

Gorgeous Adri with her prize

m.i. Dubb and Bob

My favorite Pickle's

Steve Lesli and Kacee

Just some of the food (there was a ton) that we were able to donate to the Food Bank. When Adri dropped it off on Monday she told the guy my story and he started crying and she started crying and then she told me and I started crying. Good times. Great party.

Amazing friends and food. I am so blessed.


P.S. I'm having trouble uploading a couple of my pictures. Will try back later.

MonkeyMonkeyMonkey

Stuff I learned today...

*Screaming "MONKEY" in my head is a great F-word replacement.
*One should not watch The Walking Dead while eating dinner.
*It is really great to sit in my dark living room with the lights on the Christmas tree.
*Christina Aguilera has amazing power to help me finish that last two minutes on the monkey stair master. Who knew?
*Work stress may actually drive me insane.
*Friend Jeremy was on-line today so I know he is safe in Iraq. Modern technology is amazing.
*After making my list and checking it twice I really should not be sitting here blogging and watching TV. I should be shopping.
*Telling my mom that I want 'Peace on Earth and for People to be Nice to Each Other' for Christmas probably made her very frustrated with me.
*I love my tree.
*Someone I know (who is my age) died today of monkey cancer and I'm feeling so sad for her family.

That's all.

I'm back!

Okay, I know I haven't blogged in a very long time but I promise to be better. I promise. I do have some news...my "I wish he was my boyfriend Justin" will be back on the next Amazing Race.

Yay!

Words to Live By

Quinn: If you quit the club I'll let you touch my breast.

Quinn: Remember the power motto ladies--it's all about the teasing and not about the pleasing.

Quinn: Let's pair up for the Immaculate Affection. Now remember, if the balloon pops the noise makes the angels cry.

Quinn: I want my kids to be able to look back at these books and see who I was, make them proud--not the bastard one I'm carrying now--of course--the ones I'll have when I'm married and ready.

Quinn: Status is like currency. When your bank account is full you can get away with doing just about anything but right now, we're like, toxic assets.

Quinn: When my mom applied to college she put being popular as being one of her extra curricular activities.

Quinn: I know some guys cheat on their wives or pregnant girlfriends. Just don't do it with Rachel.


So many good lines. I could type all day.

Don't Be a Guy. Be a Man.

D.C.: Lloyd, why do you have to be like this?
Lloyd Dobler: 'Cause I'm a guy. I have pride.
Corey Flood: You're not a guy.
Lloyd Dobler: I am.
Corey Flood: No. The world is full of guys. Be a man. Don't be a guy.


I love guys. But lately it's been a little rough and they have not been looking all that good. Not bad enough to make me a lesbian but definitely not good. I keep hearing about all these girls who are my age and are now finding out that they are Starter Wives. A few weeks ago one of my closest friends was sexually assaulted by a married co-worker and someone else I know of who JUST got married 6 months ago is pregnant and discovered that her awesome husband has already been cheating on her. Someone else I know got caught with a hooker. What's up? It makes me mad. It breaks my heart and of course it scares the hell out of me. Just when I was getting to the point where I was not loving the guys in the world I witnessed and/or remembered a few amazing moments that make me feel so much better:

*The guy friend who gave his baby a beautiful blessing this past Sunday.
*The guy friend who takes his kids so his wife can get away and doesn't consider it babysitting.
*The guy friend who held his niece while she sobbed even though his heart was broken as well.
*The guy friend who knows me way too well and calls me on my bullshiz.
*The guy friend who is ALWAYS early, opens doors and walks me to my car no matter how far away I parked. Who one night as we watched our girl friend walk off into the distance REALLY tried to figure out how to walk Amanda, Mae and myself home even though we lived all over the place. "My mom would kill me if she knew I just let a girl walk home at one in the morning in the middle of Washington Heights...". Adore.
*The guy friend who when he comes to see his wife walks INTO the office instead of sitting in the car waiting for her.
*The guy friend who always gives his wife the most amazingly thoughtful gifts on one of her not so favorite days.
*The guy friend who is kind and thoughtful and even when he's trying to be studly.
*The guy friend who even at his wife's funeral talked about how much he loved her and how he "envied no man".
*The guy friend who patiently teaches his 3 year old how to miniature golf even though she was really really struggling.
*The guy friend who always makes me feel so comfortable with their family and doesn't treat me like 'my wife's friend'. I'll never forget the time he came up to me and said, "You're on a very short list of girls I'm allowed to be alone with--want a ride home"?

Several months ago I was with two girl friends and we were talking about another friend whose husband I don't love and my friend started laughing and said, "On the one hand we have the husband she hates. On the other hand the one she loves and then there's mine. Somewhere in the middle. He says and does weird awkward things and acts crazy around her". True, he is awkward but that's just because he's a nice awkward kind of a guy. I actually adore him.

I know a lot of really great men and they more than make up for all the ass-hats guys that I also know of. Funnily enough--these also happen to be the men who make my Best Husbands List each year. Ponder that.

ChristmasHanukkahFestivusBirthday

Last week at work was mostly wretched but for one tiny little announcement. It was like Christmas, Hanukkah, Festivus and my Birthday all at the same time.

Bye, Bye, Bish!

Angie Hates Dogs

Athens, Georgia, Christmas Day 1980something my brother Dave and I got bikes from Santa and we were in our neighborhood trying out our new toys when we were chased and then attacked by a big dog. I don't remember what kind but it was big and mean and from that day on I've been REALLY scared of dogs. When I was in college my family got a dog named Nikita and I stopped talking to them for months. Nikita wasn't anything to be afraid of but I hated her ever living guts and used to call her Kruschev just to make my sister cry. After living in NYC for two years where there are dogs everywhere the fear somewhat subsided and I've been mostly okay but I still hate dogs. Tonight after my run I got home and tried to find a taser gun online so that tomorrow when I go I can get back at the 6 dogs who chased/barked at me during my 30 minute run. I HATE DOGS!!!!!


P.S. there are four exceptions: Chloe, Jake, Spindleshanks and Bug. Those dogs have hilarious personalities and they crack me up. I also like their owners a lot. Maybe that's part of it.

P.P.S. I'm kidding about the taser gun. I promise.

Stuff I Know

*Even though I will NEVER be that girl who looks forward to it and/or loves it, exercise is exhilarating. It makes you feel empowered and amazing. Thanks, RHC for making me go biking tonight.

*Making others listen to your shizzy music when they are calling you is really annoying. I had to call an employee four times in the last two days and this is what I know: God is Great, Beer is Good and People are Crazy. Ugh!!!!!! Makes me want to put one of my favorite Spring Awakening or Next to Normal songs on my phone while people wait for me to answer.

*It is a little bit offensive to me that really GREAT movies only play in one theater (if any) in the great state of Utah. For instance, four times in the last two weeks I've had to drive to SLC to see various films and yet the movie Marmaduke will be playing on dozens and dozens of screens across the state. It is also offensive to me that Creation is not playing in an entire region of our country but I'm not in the mood to pick a fight with The Bible Belt today so I'm going to try and let it go.

*Elevators are H-O-T!

*10.75 more weeks until my colleague comes back from maternity leave and I get to just do my job. I really need to make a paper chain to help me count down the days. Yes, it is pathetic that I'm completely overwhelmed and it is only the beginning of week 2.

*I hate that one of my favorite songs from Rent is a Macy's commercial.

*I have the coolest friends. Ever.

*iTunes rules all. That's all.

Classes, anyone?

Don't get me wrong, I love Community Ed classes. I've been taking them for years as a great way to take fun classes for super cheap and they're also very fun. I've taken belly dancing, computer classes, photography classes, cooking classes, jewelry making, pottery, and I'm sure other even more random things. Tonight, I was looking at the most recent catalog looking to see which class I should take and found a bunch that I think will help me find a husband:

Concealed Firearms Permit Course
Backyard Birding
Fly Fishing for Fun
Gold Prospecting--Really?
Tae Kwon Do and Life Skills
Managing Anger--this one is my second favorite. I'm sure you can figure out which is my first.

I can't stop giggling. I know there's nothing truly wrong with these classes but I'm pretty sure I'm not going to find a good little dirty liberal like myself at any of these places. Pretty sure. Oh, also, who in their right mind is going pay $45 to take iPhone introduction? Good hell come on over and I'll freaking show you how to use it.

P.S. RHC--I think we should actually take a class--up for one?

Ridiculous

One of my most favorite things is when the little people use big words for the first time. I still remember the first time Brayden who is now 12.5 used the word 'Actually' in a sentence. "Actually, Ang, it is the dryer that shrinks clothes--not the washer". Love being corrected by a 3 year old. As if I didn't know that the dryer is the shrinker not the washer. However, in order to get something dryer worthy it MUST first be washed. By the way, it is nearly impossible to reason with a small child. Or, when he was the same age and he told my mom he was going to be a Paleontologist when he grew up. She asked if he knew what that was and he told her that it was a person who studied dinosaur bones. How did Dave and Adri produce such a brilliant kid? Tonight, Becky had Zack (he will be three next month) tell us his new word 'Ridiculous'. I LOVE IT! It is so completely adorable.

And the Question Is...

...how many times in three hours can someone go to the grocery store?

Answer...3.

1) Winco. Not sure how I feel about that store. It is definitely cheaper than anywhere else (and I really like that) but the crowds are horrible, the floor plan makes no sense and I HATE bagging my own groceries. If I wanted to do that I would work at a grocery store. Also, couldn't find three things and so I had to drop the groceries at my house and then go to Ridley's.

2) Ridley's. Picked up the few things I missed at Winco. Went home and made cookies. They look ridiculous but taste good. Not sure if I will be taking them to the party tomorrow so had to go out AGAIN to get different ingredients.

3) Allen's. Not my favorite store by any stretch but there were only a few cars in the parking lot so I ran in and got what I needed for the cupcakes.

Love grocery shopping. Love.

Pink?

I'm not sure where it all came from but I've been a little bit obsessed with pink lately. Not so much the artist although I do love her but mostly obsessed with the color pink. I have a new pink iPod and also a new pink wallet. I didn't think anything of it until my friend Jeff asked me if I had his niece's wallet. Is it super creepy? I don't care. I like pink.

Also, I must add although I know I've blogged about this before, all of it reminds me of a conversation from over a year ago between two of my colleagues about me:

R: Shaking her head...I don't even know who she is anymore.
Z: What do you mean? She's looks great.
R: She's wearing PINK. Pink. And she has critters on her ears!

(I was wearing a pink sweater and these really great pink & orange fish earrings)

Life is Grand. Really, really Grand.

I don't feel the way I've ever felt.

I know.

I'm gonna smile and not get worried.

I try but it shows.

Anyone can make what I have built.

And better now.

Anyone can find the same white pills.

It takes my pain away.

The only way I can properly get ready in the morning—is to jig around the bathroom singing and dancing while blow drying my hair. This morning during Pain by Jimmy Eat World I had the end of an epiphany that has been building for several days—I’m happy. I’m totally and completely at peace with myself, and my life and am comfortable in my own skin--I’m quite positive I’ve never actually felt like this. And unlike Jimmy it isn’t because of a little white pill. It started on Wednesday afternoon when I was texting Julia on the way to the airport and she told me, “you may be surprised to find how happy you are to be back”. I thought she was a little nuts or at the least just in a better place than me but honestly (you can ask anyone) all day on Thursday I was so happy and relieved and just felt good about the fact that I do live here. Yes, I miss my NY friends. I miss aspects of the life I had there but in the last several days I’ve realized: I HAVE A REALLY GREAT LIFE! I have the most amazing friends. I have a fantastic job that I’m really good at and that I truly enjoy. Yeah, I live in The UC and that’s hard but it’s helping me to be a better Christian—something that I’ve been striving for in the last year. I may not be currently drinking the kool-aid but I'm a good person and I do good things. Sure, I don’t fit in but I don’t want to. I like who I am. I’m weird and nerdy. I celebrate Easter and Passover. I like learning about other cultures and people. I try not to judge others and try to be understanding of the differences and similarities that we all share. I love all things pop culture. I love that I’m independent—that I can do things for myself—but also that I when I need to I can call a friend for help. I love that I can go to brunch with a friend and then go and see a movie by myself in the same day. I don’t want to do that every day but I LOVE that I can do it. I love that I can pay bills and download pictures from my camera and fix the flat on my bike. I love that I'm out living my life and not waiting for it to begin. I love that even though the human baby incubator thinks her life is more important than mine that it actually isn't more important--it is just different. Just to prove how nerdy I am I recently remembered something from one of my philosophy classes about the Greek philosopher Epictetus, “Because you consider yourself to be only one thread of those which are in the tunic. Well then it was fitting for you to take care of how you should be like the rest of men, just as the thread has no design to be anything superior to the other threads. But I wish to be purple, that small part which is bright, and makes all the rest appear graceful and beautiful. Why then do you tell me to make myself like the many? And if I do, how shall I still be purple?” Even though sometimes it is tough to be purple and rough to stick out that’s who I am and I want to be comfortable being the purple thread. In one of the Broadway shows that I saw last week we were encouraged to find the Rapture everyday--to find the little “r-rapture” in every day things. And so as I think about all the little “r’s” in my life and I add them up I’m incredibly blessed and so terrifically happy.

Perfectly Unexpectedly Wonderful

A week ago tonight I took a much needed little trip home for a few days. I had originally planned on meeting Meredith and having a fabulous time running all over and eating at all of our favorite places. However, as blogged about earlier plans change and it looked as if I would spend much of my five full days in NYC alone. At the time I tried really hard to be positive and I tried even harder to keep my chin up but I was worried about my sanity and emotional well being for spending so much time alone. A few years ago I would have been completely and totally comfortable in that situation but things have changed and I've changed and the thought of it was very unappealing. Since I already had a plane ticket and four Broadway show tickets I bit the bullet and jumped on the plane. Perfectly. Unexpectedly. Wonderful. That's what this trip was for me. I was with friends nearly the entire time. I had unexpected calls, texts and invitations that made my trip fantastic. Even running into my Doppelganger didn't wreck my trip--may have put a slight damper on it but the fact that I won a ton of ridiculously expensive fabric in the same hour made it all worth while. Especially since I got to give it to Kendra for her to make dresses for two of my favorite little girls in the entire world.

Lexi being fascinated by the yarn winder thingy.

Lexi and Ang at Economy Candy.

Cope's eating yummy dumplings in China Town.

Ella...hard day?

Ang at Brooklyn Bridge

Gorgeous! Love that view.

Why even pretend as if I didn't go to New York for the food?
This is Economy Candy and part of my fabulous and

fun filled day in SoHo, China Town, LES with

my favorite family in the whole city.

Do I need to say anything? Probably not.

Jeff said this was the best food he'd ever had in NYC.

I didn't believe him and I hate being wrong.

This little Indian food cart is easily the best Indian food

I've ever eaten and quite possibly the best food EVER!

46th and 6th Avenue

Mmmmm, good! What could be better than

sitting at the Chip Shop in Park Slope

being waited on by a HOT British server

listening to The Smith's and eating the best

fish n chips and fried PB Cup in the world?

Could only have been better with Mere and Andrea.

Me at the Chip Shop

Shake Shake UWS. So good and totally worth

the wait on a dreary bleak and rainy Sunday afternoon.

Oh, my heavens! Best doughnuts I've ever consumed.

Corner of Norfolk and Grand, LES.

Most favorite people in all of the city. I love you guys so much and had the best time hanging out with you and Alexis and Ella. Loved our Saturday walking all over the city, will forever treasure Sunday morning memories and the good morning hug I got from Ella and for dinner at Sosa Borella. I love my bag too--I've gotten a zillion compliments! You are so wonderfully talented and I'm so happy we are friends. I do think it is humorous how we all became friends--especially given my current feelings on the program in general.

Some friends are forever and I'm so glad we met.

Ang and Kendra

On Wednesday morning I got to see the Picasso exhibit at The Met.

I was blown away by The Blind Man's Meal & Man with Hat and Violin but

nothing can explain the feelings I had when I saw Mother and Child on a Bench.

That painting touched my heart so much.

I have tears in my eyes right now just thinking about it

and I stood in front of it for a good 15 minutes taking it all in.

Someday I will get a copy of that picture for my home.

I love NYC parks. If the weather hadn't been so completely and totally wretched I would have spent a lot of time sitting, reading and people watching in my favorite places. Instead I took a couple of pictures in Bryant Park, Central Park and Washington Square Park so I'd have a memory of all of the other hundreds of hours I have done those activities in my favorite parks.