Lent

This year for Lent I have given up shopping. This may in fact be the hardest year yet.

Wish me luck!

When You Are A Grown-up

When you are a grown-up you can eat the ice cream cone while you wait in line for your salad.

Yup. Perfection.

Formula For Happiness

Last week was crap but I got through it and I feel like I need to write out the things that helped so that I know them for the future.

*Hugs from Kenzie -- hands down this kid can make me feel better in just a few seconds. On Thursday I called my sister and asked if I could come over and borrow hugs from Kenzie for a few minutes. I don't know what Becky said to her and/or what you can say to a 2 year old but that kid knew EXACTLY what I needed and hugged and kissed me for the whole time I was there.

*Donuts from Hill's Bakery -- in particular the bacon maple bar. Oh, my gosh, pure nasty heaven!

*Talking it out with friends -- I'm super lucky and have amazing people in my life who would do anything for me. I didn't actually realize what *anything* meant until Saturday night when they tried to kick his ass. But generally I have wonderful friends who are incredible listeners and have helped me be the best version of myself.

*A Peaceful Home -- last week when things were pretty rough I remember walking into my living room and looking around and realizing how completely happy I was with where I live. I love my house. I love the way it is put together and it has such a peaceful feeling. I love being at home and never get antsy to get out of there. Note: I didn't even get dressed until the last possible second on Saturday and Sunday. That's how happy I was to be in my home.

*A Perfect Life -- a few weeks ago one of my colleagues who I call Elder asked me what I was doing over the weekend and I told him and he said, "Wow, you have a perfect life."

Yes, I have a perfect life and even though sometimes things are hard my life is pure wonderfulness with ice cream sprinkles and a cherry on top. Or rainbows and bunnies. Which ever works for you.

I Trust You

I Love You.
I Hate You.

Those are very powerful words but not nearly as critical to me as these simple words:

I Trust You

Simple, eh? Yeah, not for me. Trust is a very big deal for me and to be truthful I don't trust that many people. I've been burned. A lot. In the last few years I've learned that if I don't let down the walls a little bit and if I don't let people in I can't grow. I can't live. I can't be happy. I want to grow. I want to live and I definitely want to be happy. One of the biggest ways to do this is to learn to trust people. Unfortunately, sometimes even the people you love and trust the most can betray you the most and hurt you the worst. Recently, someone that falls into that category hurt me really badly. And I was sad. Really sad. And hurt. Really hurt. It's been 6 days and although I'm still sad and hurt I'm only a little sad and a little hurt. I have been honest with this person and told them how much they hurt me and now I can move on. Control the controllable. It is the only thing I can control. I can't control others but I can *mostly* control the way in which I react and I choose to move past this and move on with my life. I choose to be happy. Not stupid and not naive but happy and at peace.

Happy V. day!

I survived!

It wasn't that bad. I had a busier day than I've had in a while today at work. It helped distract from the constant flower deliveries, etc. Also my mom brought me flowers, took me to lunch and gave me a lovely gift.

Tonight my plan was to clean up a bit, catch up on some stuff and mostly catch up on some TV. That got derailed tonight when a tree fell on our power line. Oy!

I had no idea how cold or dark it could be down here without lights. Hurry up Mr. Power Man, Parenthood is on soon and I need a Mr. Cyr fix. No, I deserve a Mr. Cyr fix.

Happy V. Day to all the couples in the world.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Anatomy of a Bad Day

No Monday ever starts out okay when I've spent the entire day alone on Sunday.

Nothing happened today to put me in a bad mood. No one was mean to me. No one cut me off in traffic. No clients yelled at me. On paper today was a great day: lunch with two of my Favoritest people on the planet, a Valentine from my best friend (and her kids) AND I got to see my favorite niece and nephew. Yet, I can't get it together to stop the tears from flowing down my face.

I fought the mood all day but at 3:45 I told my boss I had to leave and I came home. Old school me would cancel plans for tonight and huddle in a blanket with a book to ride out the bad feelings but new me is going to get my shit together and go watch The Bach with my friends. New me has to win at some point, right?

Not Even a Nickelback...

Quote of the Year --

Watching a preview for a movie that I would poke my eyes out if I had to actually go and see RHC made the following comment:

Not even a Nickelback song could make this preview worse.

Amen!

so so so Offensive!

I could go on and on and on about how offensive this is. It's worse than any political E-mail that my uncle sends me every bloody day in an effort to "help you see the light". It is more offensive than anything Judgy McGee has said to me in the last 6 months. However, I think it really does speak for itself. Eff you.

That's all.

Most Recent Hot Date

A: Do you think you would be able to do girls Night Friday, January 20th?
Z: My first instinct is to say "yes!" but then I'm nervous about what it might entail.
A: What if I promise it would be something you'd love.

Two + years ago Z introduced me to The Moth story telling pod cast and the very first pod cast I listened to was Mike Bribiglia doing Sleepwalk With Me so when I heard he was going to be in town I knew I would do anything for the two of us to see his show. Thankfully she was up for it and okay with the fact that she had ZERO idea what I had planned. I told one of our mutual friends about it and he was fully on board and excited that we were going to be able to spend some alone time together -- me, Z and a few thousand of our closest friends. I also mentioned my plans for my hot date with Marcel at work and then came up with the idea for us to meet him at Sweet Tooth Fairy for an after show treat.

The night of the date we met at the 7200 S Park and Ride and then I took over driving for the rest of the evening. First stop Taco Pariente for street tacos. They were just as good as I remembered and even better this time because of the company. We sat in my car and ate which with anyone else would be awkward but it was just fine with Z.

A: Do you have any idea what we are doing tonight?
Z: None. I didn't google anything or do any research.
A: Yay!

We got to Kingsbury, picked up tickets at Will Call and the whole time I was worried that the surprise would be spoiled but there were ZERO posters anywhere. Then we went to our seats on the back row and still nothing--she had no idea what we were doing. Right before the show started her brother-in-law came and sat right in front of us. Really, how much more random could that be? As soon as the lights dimmed a bit Z bent down and started caressing his neck. He pulled back, saw who it was and shoulder shrugged, "Hey". All casual and too-cool-to-talk to us. After Mike came out on the stage I whispered, "Do you know who this is?" and she shook her head no and I said, "Abby, there's a jackal in the room!" and she said, "OH, MIKE!" It was so completely awesome. I never get to keep surprises like that and it was so fun. The show was incredible. He's so funny and weird and awkward - I loved every single second.

After the show we met Marcel and his siblings at STF for an yummy treat! All in all the best date I've been on in a very long time. Pure perfection!

Some Long Lost Memories Should Stay Lost

A few weeks ago I was with my friends and we were talking about journals and how we should have a journal reading party where we can read excepts from our old journals. I sat quietly all the while thinking how freaking happy I was that I had burned all of mine. Yeah, I burned my journals and I don't even feel badly about it. There's a teeny tiny part of me that wished I had stuff from when I was really young so that I could re-create my blocked out childhood but I don't so I don't think about it. Anyway, yesterday when I was reorganizing the guest room and emptying the last of the book boxes I came across a long lost journal from 2003 that I didn't even know existed. Winter 2003 was a mere nine years ago but immediately I discovered how vastly different 2012 Ang is from 2003 Ang. Need to have another bon fire because that book needs to be burned!

Girl Meets Boy

Girl meets boy.
Girl falls in love with boy.
Boy falls in love with girl.
Girl and boy are ridiculously happy and perfect for one another.
Boy breaks up with girl.

This isn't new. It happens all the time. It has happened to every single person in the world even those 19 year old freaks that went to my college who got married Freshman year have been dumped at some point in their life. Actually, for a lot of those it has happened recently. Anyway, a few weeks ago I heard about a girl I know that I will call Jennifer. Jennifer and I aren't friends but Jennifer is best best friends with all of my friends. Jennifer and her former love whom I will call Stan live in Gotham City and recently broke up. I literally (hate when people use that word incorrectly) think about Jennifer's situation all the time because it is so tragic. In November when our friends visited Gotham City for a mini vacation they met Stan and hung out with him and as my friend Shmelanie told me Stan and Jennifer were perfect for each other. Shmelanie was worried about the very real probability that Jennifer would be moving to Stan's country as soon as he finished school but that they were so great together and Jennifer was so very happy. Stan is from another country. One that I won't name, but it isn't one of those countries on the State Department Danger List, that we used to talk about in my classes "Girls, if you know anyone who is dating a guy from one of these countries you must break them up". The whole time Stan and Jennifer were together they had the black "parent cloud" hanging over their heads but they were both very optimistic that in the end Stan's parents would be okay with him marrying an American. Turns out they were not okay with Jennifer and neither was the brother that Stan thought would be on his side. Not only were they not okay with it but they forbade him from being with her and made him pick between them and Jennifer. And so they broke up. And she is crushed. Devastated. And so am I. Life is so hard enough and finding someone to love who loves you back is hard enough but family support is a very big deal even in 2012. And you really do marry the family. Just ask any married person.