Zip This!

Hi, my name is Angie and I'm terrified of heights. I get weirded out every single afternoon at 4:55 when I have to climb on a chair to turn the fountain off at work. That's how afraid. Several months ago in a moment of strength I bought a Groupon for MAX Zipline in Provo Canyon and last Saturday Marcel and I redeemed the coupon.

Here we are right before the tour starts with the beautiful mountains in the background. Yes, I have a really weird look on my face but that's because two seconds earlier Marcel was doing something pornographic with his line brake. I was super excited for the adventure but also very scared. However, our two tour guides were super chill and funny and after I stepped off that first ledge I was completely fine. It was the most fun I've had in ages. It was exciting and so much fun! I can't wait to go back.

Baaaa!

Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

First and foremost I must say that I hate being a sheep and am occasionally *translate often* bugged by the sheepy / trendy things that I've done in my life.

Second and secondmost *I think I made up that word* I did have a first generation iPhone and we had issues. Constant issues. It was even stolen in NYC and returned to me but still when it died I was totally happy getting a different smart phone.

Third and thirdmost *totally made up* I hate being with a group of people who instead of talking, watching the movie, partying, etc are all sitting and playing with their phones. I HATE it. I know sometimes you need to take a call or check a message but no one that I spend time with regularly is a heart surgeon or President of the United States so it is hurtful to me when it happens.

Fourth and fourthmost, I was intending to wait until the new version was released but last week my phone started cycling over and over and turning itself on and off and so I knew I had to get a new phone immediately and so like all good sheep I caved and bought the iPhone 4s. I wanted to be indifferent. I wanted to not care about this new contraption and just be chill about the fact that I have it but I can't. Why you ask?

BECAUSE IT IS THE

COOLEST THING EVER.

It is so awesome and I love it to death. I've only had it for four days and I still feel this way. Last night I discovered that 5 Guys has "an app for that" and grabbed my phone to download it but then realized I really don't need that. Oh hell, can you imagine?

Yeah I kinda hate myself but whatevs. It is what it is and it is freaking awesome! That's all.

Really?

Dear Universe,

Why all of the sudden am I getting E-mails from BYU Athletics? Like really? There's not two words less appealing to me. Maybe serial killer but that's about it.

Please stop.

Ang

Is it a Date?

Actual conversation I had today with one of my very best friends:

BND: What's your plan for the weekend?
Ang: Ziplining.
BND: Oh yeah, is that a date?
Ang: What?
BND: Is it a date?
Ang: He's a 27 year old Mormon boy. You do the math.
BND: But he's a boy.
Ang: Oy! You know how you are like my big brother? He's the little brother I never had (even though I have four -- I even said that).

So funny that this isn't the first time I've had this conversation about me and Marcel. Apparently, Harry was right and men and women cannot be friends. Bummer cause he's one of my besties.

Heads, Shoulders, Knees and Toes or Some Random Ranting!

Women are not walking pornography. If they are walking pornography for you then you should probably get some help. Shoulders are not sexual. Neither are knees. Don’t get me wrong, a good shoulder massage can be a huge turn on and if you grab my knee I will jump you *in a good way* but all alone shoulders and knees are not sexual. Little girls should not be aware that Shade shirts even exist. I love that my sweet three year old niece who is being raised by my very conservative sister wears sundresses, tank tops and real shorts and doesn’t have to worry about anything on her shoulders other than sunscreen. I wear sleeves most of the time because at work I have to and because I hate my body not because I’m trying to be modest.

P.S. I hate the word modest and like my hero Jana Riess says 'there's nothing modest about a $700 prom dress'.

Pain and Sadness

Today when I was stirring my microwaved Lean Cuisine lunch and trying to avoid third degree steam burns two pieces of chicken fell on the floor. Do you know how big a deal it is when TWO out of the four or five you actually get fall to the floor and must be thrown away. Now I'm going to think about those pieces all day long and mourn their loss in my belly.

I'll be honest, I didn't want to eat this 220 calorie feast of frozen cardboard. I really want 5 Guys but as my co-worker TM and I discussed last week, I may want 5 Guys every bloody single day but I don't want to look like someone who eats 5 Guys every bloody single day. So here I am sitting here and savoring every freaking tiny bite (sans two bites of chicken) and looking forward to three o'clock when I get to eat an apple.

40 Fabulous Things About Me!

(these are in no particular order)

I love The Bachelor franchise.

I loathe emoticons and abbreviations. I don't judge people who use them and I will admit that sometimes you just gotta (another thing I hate but you know...sometimes it is necessary) to convey your point.

I love hugs from kids. I met the cutest kid a few weeks ago at BBQ and she was adorbs (yeah, I did it again).

I loathe vinyl families on cars. Occasionally I spot a really great one like *the man and woman with the money bags instead of kids* but in the end it is all just really tacky.

I'm addicted to podcasts. I can listen for hours and hours and hours. I haven't listened to music at work in I don't know how long.

I loathe with all my soul the idea of City Creek Mall.

I love cupcakes, cookies, and any kind of baked good.

I loathe insincerity and fakeness.

I love Michelle Obama.

I loathe driving.

I love diet coke but have stopped having it at my house. None of you have any idea how big of a deal that is.

I loathe the heat this summer and am done, done, done with it.

I love the violet streak in my hair. Thanks, Twix for doing what I asked and thank you Z for prepping him with the idea.

I loathe Glen Beck.

I love my family.

I loathe ranch dressing.

I love the Olympics (yet, I hate most sports).

I loathe teasing. I'm sensitive and it is always rooted in meanness.

I love being pampered.

I loathe most chain restaurants.

I love freshly painted nails.

I love to read.

I love that occasionally the patriarchal order actually comes in handy: when the check boxes get delivered, when I have to move for the 17,000th time into a new office and when the guy drives.

I love each and every one of my friends.

I love boutique shopping -- not for crafts but for unique clothes, jewelry and fun stuff.

I love having cut flowers in my home.

I love clean sheets.

I love 6 o'clock, 10 o'clock, Noon, 3 p.m. and 7 ish -- it is when I get to eat.

I love freshly shaved legs.

I love anything flavored with cinnamon.

I love unrestrained giggles.

I love Taco Amigo peach shakes.

I love nicknames.

I love Becky Higgins' Project Life.

I love that I've lost 12 of the 20 lbs that I gained out of nowhere.

I love surprises.

I love post-exercise endorphins.

I love my new normal.

I love that on September 19th I will not be one bit different than I am today on August 14th. It has taken me a while to realize this.

I love that there are amazingly strong women who are trying to figure out how to live in this world and how to properly raise a girl to be smart, open, kind and in love with herself.

Sunday is the Bestest Day!

This morning I sat on my sofa and pondered how happy I was that I could do

anything I wanted on this fine sunny Sabbath morning. It hasn't always been this way. For most of my life my Sundays were packed with church, meetings and more meetings and were honestly quite hellish. Sunday is definitely not a day of rest for proper Mormon's and after years and years it wears on you and is a difficult way to start the work week. The last four years my Sundays have been lovely doing as I please and resting the way I believe God intended when he made Sunday a day of rest. The turning point for me occurred during the last time I attended all three church meetings. My girlfriend Julia talked me into trying my ward and she came with me and as we were sitting in the last meeting the teacher was giving the message 'sometimes we just don't want to go to church but we know that when we DO go we are always blessed by the message and are happy that we attended'. I know she was being sincere because I'm sure I'd said the same thing in a RS message earlier in my life but I sat there and thought, "No, that's not true. I never want to go. I didn't want to come today and I definitely do not feel better, in fact I feel worse". I've been back for family obligations or occasionally when a friend has invited me to hear them speak but I never went back. I'd lived the last 35 years wrapped in a cocoon of intense guilt and as soon as I stopped going I didn't feel a hint of guilt. Not one iota. At first when I stopped attending church my Sundays were all about sleeping and willing myself to be strong enough to tackle the rest of the work week. I slept, read, watched TV and baked. Most of the time I stayed quite close to home occasionally catching an early matinee or bike ride/jog and sometimes dinner with my family. I've always done my best to be respectful of those who do attend and try to keep my Sunday shenanigans as quiet as possible but I don't lie and if people ask what I'm doing I tell them.
 
Lately, Sunday is a day of rest but it is also so much more: brunches, dating, walks with friends, movies, reading and of course napping. It isn't always rainbows and bunnies just like I know every Sunday isn't perfect for the rest of you. I've read enough FB updates, blog entries and heard enough at dinner to know Sundays are exhausting especially if you have young children and rarely do you learn anything. For me sometimes they are a super lonely day and sometimes too much time alone is not a good thing but for now and for the most part Sunday is my favorite day of the week.

Hi, my name is Angie

Hi, my name is Angie. Some of you don't know me. Some of you know the real me and some of you know the sanitized version of me. I'm going to do my best to be the most respectful but authentic version of me. If something I say offends you please talk to me but otherwise take it all with a grain of salt. I'm just me trying to be the best version of me.