Funnies for Today

These are just a few of the many hilarious things I've heard today...

*If it feels as if he's not connecting with you, it isn't that he's not connecting...it's that he doesn't care.

*My older sister is an extreme gypsy in an abstract realm.

*In High School my nickname was 'Federal Stimulus Package'.

*Kind of a slut, likes cocaine.

I can't say some of the others because I could get sued, beat down and/or arrested for disparaging the Green Beret organization.

Do You Ever?

Do you ever have one of those days where you can't do anything right? Where all you do is spin your wheels and feel like a total idiot? Where your day feels like a big long episode of I Love Lucy--or possibly the Three Stooges? That would be me today.

Soundtrack for Angie's Life 2008, cont...

My super awesome incredible friend made a playlist for me on iTunes with the "Soundtrack for Angie's Life 2008". I'm a little bit speechless right now.

http://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewIMix?id=304978633

I *HEART* Music 2008

Okay, okay...I realize it is February 9th and I'm finally posting my music list for 2008. A lot of these are not new--they are not even new to me but they are the songs that made up my musical life for the year and a lot of them helped to keep me sane. These are in NO particular order...prepare to be a little shocked!

Fight Song...Republic Tigers
The Big Sleep...Oliver Futura
No Heaven...Champion
Paper Planes...MIA
Sweet Heart Killer...Si Hi to Your Mom
Crush...Paramore
Supermassive Black Hole...Muse
Breakfast in NYC...Oppenheimer
Stranger Things Have Happened...Foo Fighters
That Time...Regina Spektor
Suffer Well...Depeche Mode
Hate Me...Blue October--pretty sure this was on my list last year--can't get enough!
Congratulations...Blue October
Love You Madly...Cake
How to Say Goodbye...Paul Tiernan
Scarecrow...Beck
House of Cards...Radiohead
One Week of Danger...The Virgins
Running on Sunshine...Jesus Jackson
Orchid...Alanis Morrisette
Someday Never Comes...Brandi Carlisle
Rewind...Stereophonics
Ooh La La...Goldfrapp
I Feel it All...Feist
Henry Poole is Here...Ron Irizarry

Biggest musical shocks of 2008: I let a little "pop" into my life: Ting Tings, Justin Timberlake, Colbie Caillat. Oh, and damn damn you David Cook. If anyone knows where I can get a copy of That Kiss by The Courteeners, I will love you forever--and I totally put out!

P.S. It is ridiculously embarrasing how many times I've listened to some of these songs. It was shocking even to ME to look at the play count...Oy Vey!

Seriously?

Let's say that you are at a Presidential News Conference and you are allowed to ask the President of the United States ANY question....would you ask the following:

Michael from The Washington Post: What is your reaction to Alex Rodriguez' admission that he used steroids as a member of the Texas Rangers?

Seriously? This is what you're going to ask? Seriously?

The Scream

Tonight, I was vegging on my sofa, watching television trying to get up the strength/energy to eat my dinner and I heard a noise. I looked over and saw a giant wolf dog standing in the doorway between my kitchen and living room. Mr. Wolf Beast was huge, had glowing eyes and big teeth. I screamed bloody murder and jumped up with my blanket in front of me. Yes, it is a super special "Edward Blanket" but I'm pretty sure it can't protect me from wolves. When I jumped up it scared Wolf Beast and he ran through the kitchen and out the front door. How in the HELL did the Wolf Beast get inside my home? My door was shut. Of this I am sure. I don't know that it was locked like it ALWAYS is but I know it was shut. After Wolf Beast left I sat on the sofa and burst into tears. I'm so tired and I'm also so scared of dogs. I know I'm safe. I know I'm okay but I'm mostly terrifed that I will dream about Wolf Beast and now have one more reason why I can't sleep. My heart is still beating really hard. Help...