Me and my BFF Mindy

I've been reading Mindy Kaling's book -- Is Everyone Hanging out Without Me? It isn't a long book and if I actually sat down and read it I could do it in about 2 hours but I've been savoring and enjoying every word. It is my out-and-about book that helps uncomfortable situations be much more fun: the perfect book for the treadmill and it is also ideal for general waiting: hair salon, standing in lines, waiting for friends to arrive, etc. The first half of the book I was convinced that I could have written it. She's smart and funny. I'm smart and funny. We were both nerdy chubby girls who wanted to write for TV: her comedy, me soap opera. Oh yeah, it is true I was convinced I was going to be a soap writer when I grew up. It was my secret obsession and I spent hours and hours and weeks and months reading every single book I could get my hands on about writing in general and soap writing specifically. You'd probably be surprised how many books the BYU library actually had for me to read. I would go with Bob to work and then spend hours in the library. After the first half of the book our lives obviously go in different directions--she's a famous TV writer for a successful show and I'm not.

Last night while waiting for my friends to arrive at the theater I was reading the book and had an ephiphay thanks to the genius of Mindy. I think I know why I'm attracted to younger guys -- they are just as scared of commitment as me. Not like relationship commitment, clearly that scares the bejesus out of me but any kind of commitment. I need a new phone but I know T-Mobile will make me agree to a 2 year contract and that thought makes me perspire. I could barely sign a 6 month lease on my new place because that's too long. And I'm not planning on moving or going anywhere. I LOVE where I live but contracts scare me. I have a hard time spending serious money on shoes and hand bags because I get bored easily and if you spend $400 on a bag you gotta love it. You've got to carry that damn thing with you everywhere. Even though, me, Angie, is terrified of commitment of any form I've taken steps recently to overcome that in certain circumstances. I may be scared of the end result of meeting someone on match.com but right now step one I'm focusing on Jen taking my pictures on Saturday. The rest will happen one step at a time.