Some Long Lost Memories Should Stay Lost

A few weeks ago I was with my friends and we were talking about journals and how we should have a journal reading party where we can read excepts from our old journals. I sat quietly all the while thinking how freaking happy I was that I had burned all of mine. Yeah, I burned my journals and I don't even feel badly about it. There's a teeny tiny part of me that wished I had stuff from when I was really young so that I could re-create my blocked out childhood but I don't so I don't think about it. Anyway, yesterday when I was reorganizing the guest room and emptying the last of the book boxes I came across a long lost journal from 2003 that I didn't even know existed. Winter 2003 was a mere nine years ago but immediately I discovered how vastly different 2012 Ang is from 2003 Ang. Need to have another bon fire because that book needs to be burned!

Girl Meets Boy

Girl meets boy.
Girl falls in love with boy.
Boy falls in love with girl.
Girl and boy are ridiculously happy and perfect for one another.
Boy breaks up with girl.

This isn't new. It happens all the time. It has happened to every single person in the world even those 19 year old freaks that went to my college who got married Freshman year have been dumped at some point in their life. Actually, for a lot of those it has happened recently. Anyway, a few weeks ago I heard about a girl I know that I will call Jennifer. Jennifer and I aren't friends but Jennifer is best best friends with all of my friends. Jennifer and her former love whom I will call Stan live in Gotham City and recently broke up. I literally (hate when people use that word incorrectly) think about Jennifer's situation all the time because it is so tragic. In November when our friends visited Gotham City for a mini vacation they met Stan and hung out with him and as my friend Shmelanie told me Stan and Jennifer were perfect for each other. Shmelanie was worried about the very real probability that Jennifer would be moving to Stan's country as soon as he finished school but that they were so great together and Jennifer was so very happy. Stan is from another country. One that I won't name, but it isn't one of those countries on the State Department Danger List, that we used to talk about in my classes "Girls, if you know anyone who is dating a guy from one of these countries you must break them up". The whole time Stan and Jennifer were together they had the black "parent cloud" hanging over their heads but they were both very optimistic that in the end Stan's parents would be okay with him marrying an American. Turns out they were not okay with Jennifer and neither was the brother that Stan thought would be on his side. Not only were they not okay with it but they forbade him from being with her and made him pick between them and Jennifer. And so they broke up. And she is crushed. Devastated. And so am I. Life is so hard enough and finding someone to love who loves you back is hard enough but family support is a very big deal even in 2012. And you really do marry the family. Just ask any married person.

Dear Prospective Suitor

Dear Prospective Suitor:

I'm a fairly open minded person but I don't want either of us to waste our time and there are certain things that are what our insurance underwriter would classify as DO NOT TAKES:


*If your truck has a vinyl cutout of Calvin peeing on anything, a silhouette of a naked woman or any kind of redneck political statement we are not meant for each other. I'd love to say all trucks, bumper stickers and/or vinyl lettering but I'm trying to be more open.

*If you have a child that you have "nothing to do with" we are not meant for each other. That could be me one day and I'm not into that. That was an actual "selling point" one time or at least the person thought it was.

*If you are so young that you do not know why it is funny when someone screams PIVOT when moving a large object then we cannot be together.

*If you can't understand that it is perfectly okay to have Florence, Nirvana, Rhianna, Madonna, P!nk, random B'way tunes, and the Beastie Boys on my iPod running mix then we cannot be together. You don't have to listen to it just don't make too much fun of me.

*We don't have to have the same political beliefs but if you think Jon Stewart is evil incarnate then we cannot be together.

*If you don't understand that my friends are very important to me and that they've made me the person that I am then we cannot be together. You too will be extremely important to me and will be a top priority but they are as well.

I think that covers all the important points. We can deal with your list for me and any other things that pop up on a case by case basis!

My babies

I love love love these tiny humans! Love.

Bye bye Dear Friend

Three years ago I met my dear friend Mr. Whirly Pop and we had a good relationship. He helped me be healthy by providing delicious popcorn treats and I helped him fulfill his purpose of greatness of using him nearly nightly. A few weeks ago there was an incident where I started a batch of popcorn and then started some laundry, made a phone call, etc. You know...I forgot and then it was WAY TOO LATE and my dear friend was dead and my house was full of nasty burned popcorn smell. Thankfully regular burned popcorn smell is not nearly as bad as burned microwave popcorn but it was still wretched and took me leaving the door open for hours and and entire spray bottle of Fabreeze to get the smell to go away.

Good-bye dear friend may you rest in peace.

I don't know if you can read the sign but it says NSA is Spying on You and they are slapped up all over my neighborhood. I know people who believe this and maybe in their case of never leaving their house, not owning a computer and/or cell phone (an actual friend of mine) it is true but in my case man I hope so. I try to make it easier for them by buying everything on line but I'm thinking I might try to help some more -- here's my schedule so you can focus on someone more important than me:

My workdays are usually similar -- work, work out, dinner with Jon Stewart, and a few nights a week some kind of movie, dinner or activity with friends. My weekends are a lot more interesting -- get up, go running, shower, grocery store, nap, eat, nap some more, get ready and go out with friends.

I'm fairly certain the actual terrorists know they are being watched and the rest of us are just minding our own business and trying to live our lives. I wonder how much those posters cost and how that money could have gone to a better use.

Reward Smeward!

I've blogged about this before but apparently it is time again. I hate, loathe, despise reward cards and I'm really starting to think I'm the only one who hates them. I don't want a special wallet to hold all the cards. I do not want everyone on earth knowing my E-mail address or my phone number. I do not want a free soda after I buy 17.000. I don't want a punch card (which reminds me I need to donate that Rio one I got last night because I will not use it) I just want you to lower your prices. The only place I will use the card is the grocery store because you have to. It is just real. The prices are too jacked up if you don't use it. Although, I will say that I rarely if ever go to that store because it is ghetto and because I hate the card. Yesterday I was getting my daily ice cream cone (my treat for lifting) and I was at Burger King. I never go to BK but I needed to shake it up because they are starting to recognize me at Artic Circle, The Amigo and McDonald's. So, I'm at BK getting my dollar cone and the girl asked me if I had a reward card. WHY DOES BK have a reward card? Isn't having clogged arteries reward enough? It isn't her fault that her company listened to someone like Barge telling them that they had to do it so I'm not going to take it out on her but really can't we all just band together and make them go away? Please...