And the Question Is...

...how many times in three hours can someone go to the grocery store?

Answer...3.

1) Winco. Not sure how I feel about that store. It is definitely cheaper than anywhere else (and I really like that) but the crowds are horrible, the floor plan makes no sense and I HATE bagging my own groceries. If I wanted to do that I would work at a grocery store. Also, couldn't find three things and so I had to drop the groceries at my house and then go to Ridley's.

2) Ridley's. Picked up the few things I missed at Winco. Went home and made cookies. They look ridiculous but taste good. Not sure if I will be taking them to the party tomorrow so had to go out AGAIN to get different ingredients.

3) Allen's. Not my favorite store by any stretch but there were only a few cars in the parking lot so I ran in and got what I needed for the cupcakes.

Love grocery shopping. Love.

Pink?

I'm not sure where it all came from but I've been a little bit obsessed with pink lately. Not so much the artist although I do love her but mostly obsessed with the color pink. I have a new pink iPod and also a new pink wallet. I didn't think anything of it until my friend Jeff asked me if I had his niece's wallet. Is it super creepy? I don't care. I like pink.

Also, I must add although I know I've blogged about this before, all of it reminds me of a conversation from over a year ago between two of my colleagues about me:

R: Shaking her head...I don't even know who she is anymore.
Z: What do you mean? She's looks great.
R: She's wearing PINK. Pink. And she has critters on her ears!

(I was wearing a pink sweater and these really great pink & orange fish earrings)

Life is Grand. Really, really Grand.

I don't feel the way I've ever felt.

I know.

I'm gonna smile and not get worried.

I try but it shows.

Anyone can make what I have built.

And better now.

Anyone can find the same white pills.

It takes my pain away.

The only way I can properly get ready in the morning—is to jig around the bathroom singing and dancing while blow drying my hair. This morning during Pain by Jimmy Eat World I had the end of an epiphany that has been building for several days—I’m happy. I’m totally and completely at peace with myself, and my life and am comfortable in my own skin--I’m quite positive I’ve never actually felt like this. And unlike Jimmy it isn’t because of a little white pill. It started on Wednesday afternoon when I was texting Julia on the way to the airport and she told me, “you may be surprised to find how happy you are to be back”. I thought she was a little nuts or at the least just in a better place than me but honestly (you can ask anyone) all day on Thursday I was so happy and relieved and just felt good about the fact that I do live here. Yes, I miss my NY friends. I miss aspects of the life I had there but in the last several days I’ve realized: I HAVE A REALLY GREAT LIFE! I have the most amazing friends. I have a fantastic job that I’m really good at and that I truly enjoy. Yeah, I live in The UC and that’s hard but it’s helping me to be a better Christian—something that I’ve been striving for in the last year. I may not be currently drinking the kool-aid but I'm a good person and I do good things. Sure, I don’t fit in but I don’t want to. I like who I am. I’m weird and nerdy. I celebrate Easter and Passover. I like learning about other cultures and people. I try not to judge others and try to be understanding of the differences and similarities that we all share. I love all things pop culture. I love that I’m independent—that I can do things for myself—but also that I when I need to I can call a friend for help. I love that I can go to brunch with a friend and then go and see a movie by myself in the same day. I don’t want to do that every day but I LOVE that I can do it. I love that I can pay bills and download pictures from my camera and fix the flat on my bike. I love that I'm out living my life and not waiting for it to begin. I love that even though the human baby incubator thinks her life is more important than mine that it actually isn't more important--it is just different. Just to prove how nerdy I am I recently remembered something from one of my philosophy classes about the Greek philosopher Epictetus, “Because you consider yourself to be only one thread of those which are in the tunic. Well then it was fitting for you to take care of how you should be like the rest of men, just as the thread has no design to be anything superior to the other threads. But I wish to be purple, that small part which is bright, and makes all the rest appear graceful and beautiful. Why then do you tell me to make myself like the many? And if I do, how shall I still be purple?” Even though sometimes it is tough to be purple and rough to stick out that’s who I am and I want to be comfortable being the purple thread. In one of the Broadway shows that I saw last week we were encouraged to find the Rapture everyday--to find the little “r-rapture” in every day things. And so as I think about all the little “r’s” in my life and I add them up I’m incredibly blessed and so terrifically happy.

Perfectly Unexpectedly Wonderful

A week ago tonight I took a much needed little trip home for a few days. I had originally planned on meeting Meredith and having a fabulous time running all over and eating at all of our favorite places. However, as blogged about earlier plans change and it looked as if I would spend much of my five full days in NYC alone. At the time I tried really hard to be positive and I tried even harder to keep my chin up but I was worried about my sanity and emotional well being for spending so much time alone. A few years ago I would have been completely and totally comfortable in that situation but things have changed and I've changed and the thought of it was very unappealing. Since I already had a plane ticket and four Broadway show tickets I bit the bullet and jumped on the plane. Perfectly. Unexpectedly. Wonderful. That's what this trip was for me. I was with friends nearly the entire time. I had unexpected calls, texts and invitations that made my trip fantastic. Even running into my Doppelganger didn't wreck my trip--may have put a slight damper on it but the fact that I won a ton of ridiculously expensive fabric in the same hour made it all worth while. Especially since I got to give it to Kendra for her to make dresses for two of my favorite little girls in the entire world.

Lexi being fascinated by the yarn winder thingy.

Lexi and Ang at Economy Candy.

Cope's eating yummy dumplings in China Town.

Ella...hard day?

Ang at Brooklyn Bridge

Gorgeous! Love that view.

Why even pretend as if I didn't go to New York for the food?
This is Economy Candy and part of my fabulous and

fun filled day in SoHo, China Town, LES with

my favorite family in the whole city.

Do I need to say anything? Probably not.

Jeff said this was the best food he'd ever had in NYC.

I didn't believe him and I hate being wrong.

This little Indian food cart is easily the best Indian food

I've ever eaten and quite possibly the best food EVER!

46th and 6th Avenue

Mmmmm, good! What could be better than

sitting at the Chip Shop in Park Slope

being waited on by a HOT British server

listening to The Smith's and eating the best

fish n chips and fried PB Cup in the world?

Could only have been better with Mere and Andrea.

Me at the Chip Shop

Shake Shake UWS. So good and totally worth

the wait on a dreary bleak and rainy Sunday afternoon.

Oh, my heavens! Best doughnuts I've ever consumed.

Corner of Norfolk and Grand, LES.

Most favorite people in all of the city. I love you guys so much and had the best time hanging out with you and Alexis and Ella. Loved our Saturday walking all over the city, will forever treasure Sunday morning memories and the good morning hug I got from Ella and for dinner at Sosa Borella. I love my bag too--I've gotten a zillion compliments! You are so wonderfully talented and I'm so happy we are friends. I do think it is humorous how we all became friends--especially given my current feelings on the program in general.

Some friends are forever and I'm so glad we met.

Ang and Kendra

On Wednesday morning I got to see the Picasso exhibit at The Met.

I was blown away by The Blind Man's Meal & Man with Hat and Violin but

nothing can explain the feelings I had when I saw Mother and Child on a Bench.

That painting touched my heart so much.

I have tears in my eyes right now just thinking about it

and I stood in front of it for a good 15 minutes taking it all in.

Someday I will get a copy of that picture for my home.

I love NYC parks. If the weather hadn't been so completely and totally wretched I would have spent a lot of time sitting, reading and people watching in my favorite places. Instead I took a couple of pictures in Bryant Park, Central Park and Washington Square Park so I'd have a memory of all of the other hundreds of hours I have done those activities in my favorite parks.

Bestest Friends

I have the coolest, sweetest, most incredible friends.

One such friend gave me this completely fabulously clever 'thank you' gift. How amazing is it? I love it and don't really want to take it apart.

Death of a DVR

I'm not a hoarder. I don't keep old stuff. I don't have a lot of sentimental attachment to things and whatnot but I do save stuff on my DVR. The thing that makes it so I don't just turn on the TV and watch random ridiculousness. The thing that records all my shows whenever they are on. The thing that makes it so I rarely have to think about anything until I'm in the mood to watch. Sometimes I save shows so that I can re-watch (Parenthood, Glee, FNL) and sometimes I save TV for a "rainy day" and/or summer when there's nothing else to watch (The Office, HIMYM) and sometimes I save stuff because it is nearly impossible to watch certain shows one at a time (Lost). Last Thursday night my DVR died. Dead. Hard drive fried. Tonight the new one came and although I'm relieved he's back I'm just a bit sad about the 80 hours of fabulousness and happiness that is gone. Tonight since I clearly have no life and according to the unbelievable bitch from last night I have no priorities I am setting up my season passes and hoping I don't forget anything. Good times.

Damn You, American Idol!

Thanks to a show that I HATE I missed the end of Glee! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Thank goodness for Hulu but I like keeping them on DVR so I can re-watch.

Damn, damn, damn!