Brown Eyed Girl

Dear Prospective Suitor

2012-01-31T12:16:00.000-08:00

Dear Prospective Suitor:

I'm a fairly open minded person but I don't want either of us to waste our time and there are certain things that are what our insurance underwriter would classify as DO NOT TAKES:

*If your truck has a vinyl cutout of Calvin peeing on anything, a silhouette of a naked woman or any kind of redneck political statement we are not meant for each other. I'd love to say all trucks, bumper stickers and/or vinyl lettering but I'm trying to be more open.

*If you have a child that you have "nothing to do with" we are not meant for each other. That could be me one day and I'm not into that. That was an actual "selling point" one time or at least the person thought it was.

*If you are so young that you do not know why it is funny when someone screams PIVOT when moving a large object then we cannot be together.

*If you can't understand that it is perfectly okay to have Florence, Nirvana, Rhianna, Madonna, P!nk, random B'way tunes, and the Beastie Boys on my iPod running mix then we cannot be together. You don't have to listen to it just don't make too much fun of me.

*We don't have to have the same political beliefs but if you think Jon Stewart is evil incarnate then we cannot be together.

*If you don't understand that my friends are very important to me and that they've made me the person that I am then we cannot be together. You too will be extremely important to me and will be a top priority but they are as well.

I think that covers all the important points. We can deal with your list for me and any other things that pop up on a case by case basis!

My babies

2012-01-31T12:13:00.000-08:00

I love love love these tiny humans! Love.

Bye bye Dear Friend

2012-01-31T12:05:00.000-08:00

Three years ago I met my dear friend Mr. Whirly Pop and we had a good relationship. He helped me be healthy by providing delicious popcorn treats and I helped him fulfill his purpose of greatness of using him nearly nightly. A few weeks ago there was an incident where I started a batch of popcorn and then started some laundry, made a phone call, etc. You know...I forgot and then it was WAY TOO LATE and my dear friend was dead and my house was full of nasty burned popcorn smell. Thankfully regular burned popcorn smell is not nearly as bad as burned microwave popcorn but it was still wretched and took me leaving the door open for hours and and entire spray bottle of Fabreeze to get the smell to go away.

Good-bye dear friend may you rest in peace.

2012-01-31T11:51:00.000-08:00

I don't know if you can read the sign but it says NSA is Spying on You and they are slapped up all over my neighborhood. I know people who believe this and maybe in their case of never leaving their house, not owning a computer and/or cell phone (an actual friend of mine) it is true but in my case man I hope so. I try to make it easier for them by buying everything on line but I'm thinking I might try to help some more -- here's my schedule so you can focus on someone more important than me:

My workdays are usually similar -- work, work out, dinner with Jon Stewart, and a few nights a week some kind of movie, dinner or activity with friends. My weekends are a lot more interesting -- get up, go running, shower, grocery store, nap, eat, nap some more, get ready and go out with friends.

I'm fairly certain the actual terrorists know they are being watched and the rest of us are just minding our own business and trying to live our lives. I wonder how much those posters cost and how that money could have gone to a better use.

Reward Smeward!

2012-01-31T10:55:00.001-08:00

I've blogged about this before but apparently it is time again. I hate, loathe, despise reward cards and I'm really starting to think I'm the only one who hates them. I don't want a special wallet to hold all the cards. I do not want everyone on earth knowing my E-mail address or my phone number. I do not want a free soda after I buy 17.000. I don't want a punch card (which reminds me I need to donate that Rio one I got last night because I will not use it) I just want you to lower your prices. The only place I will use the card is the grocery store because you have to. It is just real. The prices are too jacked up if you don't use it. Although, I will say that I rarely if ever go to that store because it is ghetto and because I hate the card. Yesterday I was getting my daily ice cream cone (my treat for lifting) and I was at Burger King. I never go to BK but I needed to shake it up because they are starting to recognize me at Artic Circle, The Amigo and McDonald's. So, I'm at BK getting my dollar cone and the girl asked me if I had a reward card. WHY DOES BK have a reward card? Isn't having clogged arteries reward enough? It isn't her fault that her company listened to someone like Barge telling them that they had to do it so I'm not going to take it out on her but really can't we all just band together and make them go away? Please...

Me and my BFF Mindy

2012-01-31T10:07:00.000-08:00

I've been reading Mindy Kaling's book -- Is Everyone Hanging out Without Me? It isn't a long book and if I actually sat down and read it I could do it in about 2 hours but I've been savoring and enjoying every word. It is my out-and-about book that helps uncomfortable situations be much more fun: the perfect book for the treadmill and it is also ideal for general waiting: hair salon, standing in lines, waiting for friends to arrive, etc. The first half of the book I was convinced that I could have written it. She's smart and funny. I'm smart and funny. We were both nerdy chubby girls who wanted to write for TV: her comedy, me soap opera. Oh yeah, it is true I was convinced I was going to be a soap writer when I grew up. It was my secret obsession and I spent hours and hours and weeks and months reading every single book I could get my hands on about writing in general and soap writing specifically. You'd probably be surprised how many books the BYU library actually had for me to read. I would go with Bob to work and then spend hours in the library. After the first half of the book our lives obviously go in different directions--she's a famous TV writer for a successful show and I'm not.

Last night while waiting for my friends to arrive at the theater I was reading the book and had an ephiphay thanks to the genius of Mindy. I think I know why I'm attracted to younger guys -- they are just as scared of commitment as me. Not like relationship commitment, clearly that scares the bejesus out of me but any kind of commitment. I need a new phone but I know T-Mobile will make me agree to a 2 year contract and that thought makes me perspire. I could barely sign a 6 month lease on my new place because that's too long. And I'm not planning on moving or going anywhere. I LOVE where I live but contracts scare me. I have a hard time spending serious money on shoes and hand bags because I get bored easily and if you spend $400 on a bag you gotta love it. You've got to carry that damn thing with you everywhere. Even though, me, Angie, is terrified of commitment of any form I've taken steps recently to overcome that in certain circumstances. I may be scared of the end result of meeting someone on match.com but right now step one I'm focusing on Jen taking my pictures on Saturday. The rest will happen one step at a time.

Oh, Sweet Skinny Girl!

2012-01-30T13:10:00.000-08:00

There's very little I love more than the size zero GAP associate extolling the virtues of the wide leg dress trouser as a way to "bond with me" over my purchase. Oh sweet, skinny girl, I've been buying these pants for years and I have them in every color that you make. I know they are great. I can also guarantee that you do not in fact own a pair.

That's all.

Just a Hug

2012-01-20T15:10:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I had a meeting with a new client who had been very difficult and when I stuck out my hand for her to shake she grabbed and hugged me and then said, "I had to hug you after going all Exorcist on you yesterday". As I was leaving the room the client laughed again about hugging me and said, "It is a good thing you aren't a hug-a-phobe". I smiled and told her it was nice to meet her. Later my colleague said, "Wow, I know you are a hug-a-phobe. That must have killed you". This reminded me of a girl trip a few months ago when we were talking about how Steph can't stand to be hugged and I started giggling ...

Steph: Why are you laughing?
Ang: Cause I used to be you.
Steph: What changed?

I used to be the kid in the sandbox who didn't like to be touched. Everyone knew. My friends. My family. That kid grew into an adult that still didn't like to be touched but who knew that there were certain circumstances and/or people that required hugs. One of my worst memories was from college when one of my friends was having a crying meltdown and I gave her a comfort hug. Then the next day I heard her telling people, "Angie hugged me. She must have been really worried about me because she doesn't like to touch people". I will probably never forget that feeling I had thinking that I was defective and broken. So, what changed? A couple of things but mostly I'm part of a group of friends that are always hugging. It never ever bothered me--not even the first time. Everyone hugs: friends, complete strangers, everyone. It became so normal that one day at Craft Sabbath I ran into a friend from the salon where I go and I and hugged her. I hugged her! And it was totally normal. Made me start thinking "normal people do this" "normal people aren't afraid to be touched". Huh. Maybe I'm morphed into more of a normal person. After all it is just a hug.

Today

2012-01-10T12:01:00.000-08:00

Today I am grateful for friends.
Today I am grateful that I have a job.
Today I'm grateful for the blue sky.
Today I'm grateful for vanilla ice cream cones.
Today I'm grateful for certain tiny humans.
Today I'm grateful for Florence & The Machine.
Today I'm grateful for free haircuts.
Today I'm grateful for The Bachelor.
Today I'm grateful that I am an adult.
Today I'm grateful that I am healthy.
Today I'm grateful that I get to be me.
Today I'm grateful for Jon Stewart.

Today I'm grateful that Eleni had a blog entry. Sure it made me cry a little bit but it started me me thinking about all of incredibly wonderful and also somewhat silly things that I have in my life. I may have my issues and some days may be worse and/or better than others but I'm a very lucky girl with a blessed life. I get to be me!

Looking Forward Not Back

2012-01-06T14:52:00.000-08:00

Every blogger on earth has done the same thing this week but I think it will help me have some accountability to have my thoughts and desires spelled out on the interwebs.

Before I moved and had a long commute all of my super important thinking time was done while blow drying my hair. Now during drive time each morning I have time to think about the day and get ready for what needs to be done. Tuesday morning when I arrived at work I was pumped up and perkier than I've been in ages (just ask Z). All last weekend everyone was talking about how great 2o11 was and all the awesome things that happened to them. I half heartedly agreed but then during my drive on Tuesday morning I realized that 2011 mostly sucked for me. Don't get me wrong some amazingly wonderful things happened but overall I'd like to not have a repeat of last year. Which got me thinking about the best way to make that change was to start off 2012 with a bang and to just be in a good mood. On Tuesday that worked. Wednesday for about 1/2 the day I was perky and excited and then by Thursday I bordering on tears and by Friday I was obviously upset with multiple colleagues I don't care for and someone I actually like. A Lot. I know it is so much more than just deciding to be in a good mood. There are a zillion factors that go into the moods and emotions of someone such as myself but I really truly want to be a better, happier, healthier, kinder person and I want to spend the rest of this year working towards that goal. How am I going to do that and how am I going to measure my progress? I'm not entirely sure about the last one but I know that I've discovered some secrets that truly do help:

Get lots of sleep -- this one is hard for me because there's so many other things I'd rather be doing than sleeping especially since Santa brought me an AppleTV. Not too much sleep because then I'm depressed but just enough that I feel like a human being at 5 a.m. when the alarm goes off and tells me it is time to work out.

Eat right -- this isn't just about losing weight. This is about the unfortunate self-loathing that comes when I do not eat right. I've hired a trainer / nutritionist and she's my hero. She's hilarious, motivating and super strict. She hit the nail on the head the day that I e-mailed her "HELP--I'm eating everything in sight". Within minutes she responded with, "Angie put down the food and step away. If you had one flat tire on your car would you puncture the other three?" Um...no.

Exercize -- see above. It is not about losing weight. It is about burning off all the "I Hate Everyone Stress" and helps me stay centered. Also, if I lift weights I get to have an ice cream cone. Bonus!

Blog more -- this is incredibly theraputic and helpful. Plus, I no longer work with MBHW, AJ, LRH, SK or the Bish so it's all good and I can say whatever.

Religiously devour each and every word from Eleni -- her blog has truly changed my life. She's brutal and hilarious and the honest version of me in a 30 year old Greek form. She says things I always think but have been terrified to say out loud. I worship her and when I wake up, check my E-mail and have an update from her I really do jump out of bed in anticipation of anything she has to say. Here's her link http://hope.gr/. Everyone should read her regardless of their relationship status.

Stop hating the bulk of 9 hours out of every single work day. How do I change this? Well, there's some obvious ways but for now I'd like to focus on changing some things inside myself to help me hate the rest a lot less.

Take care of me -- this is loaded. It is huge. I need to be surrounded by people who love me. Not just people who need me but people who truly care about me and think about me and want to know who the real me is. I'm really done pretending to be someone else. I want to figure out who I am and be the best version of myself. Every day in every way try to be better.

Buy local -- I tried this for Christmas this year and it was great. I would love to do 100% local but I don't believe it is possible given how much I heart Amazon.com and iTunes. I am going to do everything I can do buy local and support my neighbors.

Stop falling for unavailable and inappropriate men. Yeah more to come but I'm trying match.com this year and it is going to be awesome! I may start a private blog for stories associated with my new dating life.

Best wishes to everyone in my life. Those I know and those I don't but well wishes for a very happy 2012! We can do it!

Red?

2011-12-23T11:12:00.000-08:00

I know I've blogged about this before but I'm truly curious -- what is it about red? I am different when wearing red. Red clothes, nails, or recently red lipstick. Is it the actual red that inspires the head turns and second glances or is it the confidence I have when wearing the red?

Thoughts?

All I Want

2011-11-17T12:28:00.000-08:00

Apparently in a past life or in heaven or whatever you believe we all picked roles and I picked the role of caretaker. I'm fairly decent at taking care of people and I do enjoy it. I like that people need me. I love that people share things with me but sometimes like right this second all I want is for someone to take care of me. I don't even care who. I just want someone who gives a shit about me, who can actually listen to me and then wrap their arms around me and tell me that everything is going to be okay.

I'm not in a bad place. I'm okay. Life is great but right now I don't want to be in charge of my life anymore.

That's all.

Oops!

2011-08-18T12:15:00.000-07:00

Today during part of my lunch break I was driving around listening to X96 the local alternative radio station and the DJ was doing some kind of alphabet play list and needed an "O" song and started playing Justin Bieber's "One Less Lonely Girl". I will admit that something in my brain thought that it was a little weird and then the DJ cut in and said, "What did you think I'd lost my mind?" and started playing "Only Happy When it Rains". Yeah, way more appropriate.

Still giggling.

Road to Recovery

2011-08-17T07:48:00.001-07:00

I almost died. There I said it. Some of you know about some of this and some of you have been forced to listen to me complain about it for months and for that I'm sorry. But for the most part I've kept a lot of it to myself. I've known I was sick for a long time but kept ignoring it. I'd have really rough days and feel as if I could barely keep my head up or get random comments like "you look horrible are you okay" or my favorite, "Let's go in the bathroom and put some blush on you before your dad sees you looking like that". And I'd think about going to the doctor but then I'd change my mind. Or, a couple of times I made commitments to myself...after I get through this project at work I'll go. Or after my trip to San Francisco or New York or after the 5K. But in the end just kept doing my thing and pretending that I'd be okay if I just rested a lot. And I know deep down that rest does not contribute to red blood cell growth but I kept pretending I was okay and that things would work out. And yes, I'm a very good pretender and an excellent actress. During all of this I was exercising a lot. I was training for my work's 5K and riding my bike all over town, doing the 30 Day Shred and Kettlebells, etc. etc. No one knows how I did all of this. Not me. Not the doctors. But I did and now I can say a couple of things contributed to me finally getting a referral from Elizabeth and making the appointment. One of those things was that my heart starting beating irregularly. Especially when I was running. Rather than going to the doctor I just started running at the hospital track cause you know...if something happens there at least I'll be closer. The second thing happened while I was babysitting my niece Bella one Sunday afternoon. Bella is four and has very high energy and we had played in the house, took a really long walk, jumped on the trampoline, and then she wanted to play house so went into her bedroom and she said to me "I'm going to be the mama and you will be my sweetie". Her way of being older and being in charge which was perfectly fine with me because I was able to crash on her bed. I'm posting the picture we took of us that day and I know I look horrible. I think that's what finally did it. I laid there praying Jeff would get home soon because I was afraid I was going to pass out and not wake up.

Finally I made an appointment and only cancelled it once. I went to the doctor and made her promise that no matter what she wouldn't hospitalize me. She told me "If you can walk into my clinic and run 4-5 miles every other day then there are other ways of dealing with the anemia". Little did Dr. H know the power of pure will because she was surprised when she got the results back and saw how bad my blood was. I knew it was serious once again when the actual doctor called with my results and not the nurse and we talked and made arrangements for me to go to the hospital and have tw0-three iron infusions a week. I hate iron infusions because they make me ill but I hate them a lot less than three days in the hospital so I happily agreed. Between the time of the original blood test and the first treatment my blood got even worse and went from "4" to "less than one". But we didn't know that at the time. I think that little bit of information fell through the cracks between the hospital and my doctor and enabled me to run the Freedom 10K on the 4th of July. On the 5th I went to the clinic at the hospital for my infusion and the nurse asked me what I did for the holiday and I told him I ran a 10K and he looked at me and then looked at my chart and then looked at me again and said, "How?" I just shrugged my shoulders and said, "I wanted to". I know during all of this I scared a lot of you and I'm sorry. So much so that even my father who notices nothing begged me to not do the race. But in my defense I had worked so hard and couldn't skip it. It was one of the hardest physical things I've ever done but I was super proud of myself when it was over.

So now after 15 infusions and a lot of horrible nausea and acheyness and general ick I feel a lot better. My blood and iron are normal and after a two week hiatus from exercise I'm back to running. Not biking and everything else yet but I'm running again and training for the Mammoth 10K in September. It's a downhill race and I'm actually really nervous about it. Especially after talking to Chaddy who ran it last year and telling me that at a certain point his knees nearly snapped. Oh yay!

I'd like to thank all of my friends and family who have been incredibly supportive the last few months. To RHC for bringing me dinner and treats and for understanding that it is August 17th and we still have not biked the canyon. For everyone who forgave me when I had to cancel plans because I didn't feel good. For TJ who wanted to run the 10K with me at my pace in case I had a problem during the race. I told her that there were 250,000 people looking out for me so I'd be okay. For those of you who threatened to call my mother and tell my boss I'm grateful for your love and friendship. And for everyone who had to listen to me complain. Thank you all!

I've made some promises to take my meds three times a day, get weekly B-12 shots and continue to get my blood tested with more regularity. I promised my mother. I promised Dr. H and most importantly I promised myself. The meds make me feel horrible but a couple of hours of daily nausea is better than dying so I'm on board. I promise.

Happiness = The Moth

2011-08-15T13:00:00.001-07:00

Happiness = listening to The Moth. All Day Long.

That's all.

Ahhhh, I Miss This Place!

2011-08-15T09:45:00.000-07:00

I miss you.

HobbiesHobbiesHobbies!

2011-08-15T08:01:00.000-07:00

Hi, my name is Angie and I have an addictive personality. My particular addiction manifests itself in hobbies. I like taking classes and trying new things and the thing I've recently realized is that all hobbies come with their own set of expensive equipment. Here's a quick snapshot of some of my hobbies and the ridiculous amounts of stuff that they require:

*Scrapbooking -- oy vey there's no words to even describe all the shiz you have to have in order to do this particular hobby. I've gotten rid of nearly everything since I rarely if ever participate in this anymore but there's still all kinds of stuff a person needs to even make a quick thank you card.
*Photography -- cameras, lenses, tripods, memory cards, etc etc etc. Oh, and the classes that go with this and the fact that you need to have a relationship with a good printer so that all your hard work looks great.
*Baking -- when I moved back from New York I owned nothing and when I started baking originally it was to fill the void of no-good baked goods in this town. It later morphed into a very important coping/therapeutic tool but let's just say that I used to bake a lot. And baking requires a bazillion tools. Every time I made something new I had to buy or borrow something to complete the project.
*Cake decorating -- my obsession with baking died out for the most part but then I started cake decorating or in my case cake destroying. I wish I had known how incredibly sucky I'd be at this before I bought every single tool a person could or would need.
*Biking--so yeah you need a bike. And a helmet, and a pump and that green goo, and a water bottle, and a bike lock and then you need a new bike because the bike you have is a piece of shiz and requires WAY more work to get around town than it should.
*Jogging--obviously you need good shoes but did you know that good shoes only last so long? I've been jogging since Spring and already I had to buy new shoes the end of June. Not only good (expensive) shoes, but $20 socks that don't slide, and a knee band, and a stop watch, and razor back tanks, and good pants that hold in all the flab, and an armband for my phone and a fully charged shuffle so I don't lose my mind while jogging and something to hold water on long runs, and blah blah blah.

I could go on and on but I'm starting to sound like the crazy person I am so I will stop now. I did just realize that Blogging requires nothing extra. Hmmm, this might be my new favorite hobby.

Sweet is the Smell

2011-08-15T07:32:00.000-07:00

This morning while I was running I realized that my neighborhood is one gigantic combination of scents -- some wonderful and some not so wonderful. The first leg of my run I always smell fabric softener which is truly one of my favorite scents. One of these days I will run into someone using the stuff that the hot Dominican guy who did my laundry in NYC used and I'll knock on their door and ask what it is. I've been searching for that scent for years. So, first I get the sweet pleasure of smelling fresh laundry. Then, as I run down the hill and around the corner on 1200 I get to smell a combination of some kind of animals. One day I ran into a sheep but usually it is dogs and horses. Then further up the block I run past the house that ALWAYS no matter what time I'm running: early morning, afternoon, night smells like pot. Further up the block as I pass 200 I get to smell more horses -- there are a lot of random homes with horses in the neighborhood--the zoning is all wacky if you ask me. As soon as I turn onto State Street and way before I can even see it I begin smelling the wonderfulness that is Smoking Apple BBQ restaurant. Even at 7 a.m. that place smells incredible and makes me think I want to eat dinner. I wish I could go on smelling BBQ but shortly after that fades into the wind I get the unbelievably powerful scent of dogs that probably aren't being taken care of. They used to bark like crazy when I ran past their cage but they know me by now and so they sit and I smell and then I hold my breath as long as I can (really hard when you are trying to control your breathing while jogging--especially at the top of a hill). Finally after the nasty scent of gross dogs leaves my nose I get the also not so pleasant smell of pesticides from the fruit trees. Yes, there are still fruit trees in Orem. And finally and happily after the fruit trees I get the wonderful sweet smell of home and a successful run!

P.S. It isn't lost on me that one of the scents I get to smell is my nasty self at the end of the run. Thank goodness for soap and shampoo and a hot shower!

Things that Remain Constant

2011-08-11T07:28:00.001-07:00

The world is continually changing or at least my world is but some things remain constant.

*There will be a Thursday morning wardrobe meltdown resulting in tears and in me being late to work.

*Even though literally I only know four people in my neighborhood I will inevitably run into someone I know while jogging.

*I will spend a large portion of the day freezing in my office. Even the space heater barely makes a difference. (CJ how did you stand it in here?)

*Diet coke will make me happy. Especially on the 9 o'clock drink run with my bullyesque friends.

*I will get lots of hugs from Zacky this afternoon while I'm babysitting. We will also probably watch some kind of action movie while he pretends to be Spiderman, Harry, or Angel (yes, friends he thinks he's Angel).

*Someone in my building will have some kind of crisis that I will be forced to help fix. I'm the fixer and have recently discovered that no one really talks to me unless they need help solving a problem.

Yay, Thursday!

Crazy, Stupid Love

2011-08-09T07:39:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago I was confiding in my friend Kendra and telling her about some of the stuff I've been going through lately including dealing with a broken heart and she commented like all good friends should with "What is wrong with men?" Well, let's be honest, there's a lot wrong with men but not with this particular guy. He's the perfect combination of smart (he even reads), sexy and sweet. He's even a bit snarky which is of course why I love him. He gets me like no one has gotten me in ages. He can tell when I'm truly happy, when I'm faking it and knows when all I need is a hug. "Ang, are you ok? I know you aren't. What's up?" He's also one of the easiest guys to talk to. He just doesn't feel about me the way I feel about him. I know he likes me and for the longest time I wanted him in my life so much that I tried really hard to just be friends because before I fell for him I loved him as a friend. When he asks me about other guys my whole body cringes because who wants to talk to an A-List guy about the B-List guys that do not matter? Yes, I stole that from Felicity but it is a perfect description of how I feel when we would talk about other relationships.

A couple of weeks ago I decided it would be best to keep my distance for a while so that I could get over him and stop thinking about him All The Time. Except that still 12 times a day whenever anything funny happens or someone does something insane at work I think "Oh, I can't wait to tell...."

This particular broken heart is quite a bit different from what I'm used to because I don't hate him. I don't want to stab him in the face or push him off a cliff. Not only do I not hate him but I think because of that this situation has resurrected some very bad demons that I truly believed had been exorcised from my soul. Bringing up all the old insecurities, self esteem issues and self-loathing. Oh my gosh make it stop! It might help if I stopped listening to the same six songs over and over. I'm actually quite proud of myself that I've expanded from the same two songs to six but still--can't be helping.

Peace. Peace. Peace.

Me and MyFitness Pal

2011-08-08T09:09:00.000-07:00

Several months ago I started using an awesome little app called MyFitness Pal. I had the app on my phone, on my iPad and logged in each day from work. MFP helped me lose a bunch of weight by helping me track calories eaten and the calories I burned while exercising. For a while MFP gave me happy praise each and every day. He also told me when my friends were doing well and when I needed to remind them to step it up and get back on track. Everything was grand until I stopped exercising as much and kept eating as much as I wanted. Then at the end of the night MFP would say mean things like if you keep eating at this rate you will be fat in the next five weeks--or other hateful things. So then I stopped using it and it still kept E-mailing me messages reminding me of its power and glory. I've ignored the E-mails and reminders until today. This morning my favorite black dress pants do not fit in the manner in which I'd prefer so I made the monumental decision to beg MFP to take me back.

Now we're dating again and hopefully this time I'll live up to my end of the bargain and do what my boyfriend MFP tells me to do. Damn, it sounds like 1956 in here.

Project Picture of the Day

2011-07-22T07:45:00.000-07:00

So far in 2011 I've been working on a picture of the day project. Most of the time taking one picture a day to feature in my book has been no big deal but sometimes I've had to get a bit creative. I take my camera everywhere including on my bike and lately I've had a few close calls and have learned some valuable lessons:

Most Valuable Lesson so far -- when taking a stealth picture of a stranger TURN OFF YOUR FLASH! This has gotten me in trouble at least three times that I can think of:

1) taking a picture of a grown woman wearing embroidered peacocks on her pants.
2) taking a picture of a really ugly bumper sticker while sitting on the on-ramp on the freeway
3) just this morning in line at McDonald's I saw one of those freaks with the vinyl families on their car but this one was Jesus fish vinyl family. I had had had to take a pic of that and once again forgot to turn off my flash. The woman followed me for a few miles until I turned off to go to work.

One of these times I'm going to get my ass kicked.

Turn off the flash Millet.

Power of a Thank You

2011-06-28T14:29:00.000-07:00

A few minutes ago someone just told me thank you for doing something relatively unimportant for them and it got me thinking about how much I love that phrase. It's a really simple phrase but it truly does mean a lot. At least to me it does. It makes me smile. Makes me feel good and makes me want to help you more in the future.

Thank you.

Thank you for covering for me for a week and postponing necessary medical treatments for yourself so you could do my horribly stressful job.

Yeah, that one I'll never hear but if I say it enough in my head maybe I'll convince myself that I did hear it and that it was genuinely real and heartfelt.

Test

2011-05-31T20:20:00.000-07:00

Getting Off the Couch

2011-05-31T14:19:00.000-07:00

I've been trying to change certain things in my life for a while. One of those things is trying to be healthier. I think for the most part I'm fairly normal and I have ups and downs with making good food choices and making regular exercise part of my life. Last November I joined a gym with one of my friends and had the goal to fit into a dress for a big party. Then a while ago we (really me) started talking about doing the Community Action Food Bank 5K for a work activity. Our boss got on board and paid for our team and thankfully one of my colleagues took over the planning and recruiting. I'm perfectly capable of doing the planning but he's more popular than me so it was much better for it to come from him. 9 weeks ago yesterday I started the Couch Potato to 5K training and little by little have been able to see a difference with my endurance and my ability to not want to throw myself down the stairs at the end of the workout. I would occasionally look ahead in the program but then I'd start to panic about how I could go from week four to week five but the amazing thing is THAT YOU CAN! Somehow someway you can go from running 8 minutes in a row to running 20 minutes (that week I even read the program wrong and ran for 25 minutes). Also during my "training" I was on vacation in NYC and got the opportunity to run in Riverside Park which was a super awesome treat. I also realized it is WAY easier to run at sea level than up in this elevation.

Last Saturday I met 20 colleagues at 7:30 in the morning for our big run and here's me crossing the finish line. My goal was to run the entire thing and I DID IT!

When I'm running the first 10 minutes are pure hell and then somehow I can disconnect my brain from what I'm doing to my body and can get through the rest of the run but on Saturday at the 1.75 mile marker as I was about to fall over and die Jay-Z came on my play list and started singing about my favorite place in all of the world and I was able power through the rest of the run. At the very end I was even singing and dancing to Show me How from the Burlesque soundtrack. It is literally impossible not to shake your ass when you listen to that song. Sure I'm slow as molasses but I did it. I did it. I did it. Yay Me!

Now for the real challenge. I just registered for the Provo Freedom 10K that is in less than five weeks. I've made up my own little training schedule and I'm going to do the best I can to complete this goal as well. I wouldn't say that I love to run. I'm not quite there yet but I have felt something in the last few weeks of training at the end of a run that I've only felt in one other situation that has nothing to do with organized exercise. Those bloody endorphins people talk about are real.

Rain, Rain Go Away

2011-05-19T07:17:00.000-07:00

Question of the Day:

How many times can girl hair get rained on and still look 1/2 way presentable?

All anyone does is complain about the weather and so I've mostly tried to keep quiet but I can't take this rain ANYMORE! Unrelenting horrible freezing cold rain.

That's all.

When I Grow Up

2011-05-13T12:32:00.001-07:00

When I was a little girl and people would ask me if I would marry a doctor or a lawyer when I grew up my mother would often answer "No, she's going to be one". Which is nice and fine and dandy. What I really wanted to be was President of the United States. Now that I'm a grown up or kind of a grown up I know that is quite possibly the worst job in the world so I'm glad I'm not the leader of the free world. Now as I contemplate what I want to be when I grow up it is a lot less about what I do for a living than what kind of a person I will be in general.

When I grow up:

I want to be kind
I want to be loving
I want to be understanding of the differences in others
I want to think before I speak and type and act
I want to be forgiving
I want to be helpful

Mostly I want to be me but a better, more positive and more successful version of me.

I'm Back!

2011-05-13T12:30:00.000-07:00

I actually posted a couple of things yesterday but then Blogger crashed and they went away--probably for the best since I was angry when I made the posts.

Mostly I'm happy. Life is grand and I want to be postive.

Things to Ponder

2011-05-12T12:35:00.000-07:00

The other day I was walking down 86th Street in NYC and I saw a mom drop off her teenage son, kiss him on the cheek and watch him walk into school as she shouted "have a great day!". I spent much of the rest of the day wondering what kind of kid he was, if he was a good kid, did it bother him that his mom kissed him in front of all his friends, did she need to watch him walk into school to make sure he went or did she enjoy that as part of her morning ritual. I truly did think a lot about this and then later that day I was at lunch with two friends and heard a story about another teenage boy that warmed my tired, cold, dead heart. This kid, we'll call him Spencer had a girlfriend. He'd gone out on a date or two with her and then one day when his mom asked about her he said they had broken up. His mom asked why and he said, "Because she was mean". Delving deeper into what made her "mean" he told his mom that he and girlfriend were sitting at at table and another girl from their tiny high school came up and asked if she could sit there. She sat. They all talked and then after she left his girlfriend turned to Spencer and said, "Can you believe that? Who does she think she is?" And so he broke up with her. Hallelujah! I wish all of us could be a little more like Spencer and stand up for kindness. My brother Jeff is on a mission to help people be a little less petty, a bit less mean and a lot more Christ-like. While I applaud his efforts and want him to succeed I know from my own personal experience that it is often difficult to undo years and years of what I like to call Mean Girl Syndrome. This doesn't just affect girls even some guys get into this weird thing where they introduce their parents to everyone except for you and have a pie party with everyone on the floor except for you. Meh, I could get my feelings hurt but for the most part it is comical to me and I can just try to be kind and open and not let stupid petty ridiculous things bother me.

Stalker Be Damned

2011-05-12T12:30:00.000-07:00

I haven't blogged in a while and it is because I have a stalker. Not a scary follows-me-around kind of a stalker (gosh I hope not) but someone who hates me and for whatever reason seems to enjoy stalking my blog and then blabbing about it. Periodically, this creeps me out enough to stop blogging but not enough to go private. I hate private blogs and so here I am in that "not creeped out" moment!

Be damned!
Be damned!
Be damned!

I'm back!

What's New?

2011-02-24T12:39:00.001-08:00

Been a while since I blogged and there's lots rolling around in my head. Be prepared for completely and ridiculously random thoughts.

*I listen to the radio now and not only do I listen to the radio I actually listen to the "popular station" and now know what all the kids are listening to now days.
*It is impossible to go to Target and not spend at least $100.
*I love my job but am so weary of the girl-drama, gossiping and back biting. I wish if Person A had a problem with Person B they would talk to Person A and work it out or at least come to a detente. I know that it is such a grown-up idea but it seems so foreign in the world in which I live.
*Dating sucks--one wretchedly long 20 year job interview. I was actually talking to the guy that I like a lot about this the other day and apparently guys hate it too. He just started dating someone so no comments about who he might be--doesn't matter.
*I am terrible at cake decorating. RHC and I took a class. It was fun. I learned stuff and had a good time but I cannot decorate or even frost a cake without everything falling apart. Not only falling apart but you should see the burn/scar on my belly from the cupcake pan.
*Lent started 15 days early for me. I needed something to help me focus and couldn't afford to wait two more weeks. Mostly, this year I'm focusing on sticking to my diet--that doesn't mean no baked-goods it means making the best choices as often as possible and sticking to my Points Plan which really means very little baked-goods.
*I love Project Life--it's been so fun to take a picture a day and try to celebrate all the different aspects of my life. I apologize to some of my friends for the constant pictures but it has been fun for me and I've even been printing the pictures once a week and doing all the journaling.
*I watch The Bachelor. Yes, friends, there it is. I watch a show that the premise of makes every bit of my soul hurt. I don't find Brad very attractive and I have so many issues with the concept of it but there's something so much fun about Monday nights with my friends watching the show and listening to J&N have the same argument over and over. And over.
*It super cracks me up that there is a smoke shop attached to my gym. I actually secretly like the smell of fresh cigarette smoke but it is weird to me that every night when I leave the gym I nearly choke to death walking to my car. It also makes me wonder what they actually sell there because it is crazy busy in the parking lot even late at night.
*I had oral surgery 11 days ago and my mouth is finally starting to heal. I miss straws so much and can't wait until they can be part of my life again.
*I cannot decide what to do about my living situation. Move. Not move. Move to Sugarhouse or Downtown. Move to Draper (ugh...). Move to Northern UC (mostly double ugh). Move into a much bigger place with a roommate. Continue to live alone.
*The list of creepy married guys in my world has gotten bigger thanks to the most recent one who asked me to be his Valentine last Monday. Really, dumb ass?
*The list of fabulous married guys in my world has actually gotten bigger. I'll publish my annual list later but I adore you Nick Jarrett.
*I used to hate Mexican food. It has now become my stand-by/fall-back/crave all the time food. Especially the weirdly amazing tacos at the gas station/smoke shop combo in Provo. They have delicious chips and guac too. If you are local make sure you go to Mtn West Burrito. It is wonderfully worth it.

Bully This

2011-01-16T08:24:00.000-08:00

Last week was the roughest week of my professional career and as I reflect on the events of the past week I don't concentrate on the difficult tasks and the long hours but more on the lesson I learned. I spent a lot of last week being manipulated and taunted by a bully. I would imagine that she's always been a bully and that she often gets her way and in months or years past I would have let her get under my skin and not only ruin my week but also my weekend. This particular bully is mean. She's nasty and she's an ignoramus that can't even properly spell her insults but I'm not letting her bother me because I don't want to be like her. I'm sure she has a sad miserable life and the takes out that frustration on others as a way to make herself feel better. I'm not better than her but I can be a kind and understanding person and I can appreciate the goodness and happiness in all the little things because LIFE IS WONDERFUL and should be enjoyed and cherished.

10 Tiny Humans?

2011-01-06T21:15:00.000-08:00

Here they are 9 of the 10 gorgeous tiny humans. How in the world could 9 kids and 6 adults not notice that one was missing? Who knows. None of that is important. What is important is that we are one crazy-weird family and even though we may not always like each other we do

LOVE

each other. These little people are the most important people in my world and I would do anything for them. Anything.

Eeney Meeny Miney Mo

2011-01-06T20:52:00.000-08:00

Work has been insanely intense and I've had the opportunity to earn some extra money the real question is how shall I spend the money? I could easily piddle it away on little bits of nothing or I could buy myself something fun:

*plane ticket
*iPad
*new camera
*I'm sure I could think of a few other things...

Thoughts?

The New Me? Or, Just the Real Me?

2011-01-06T20:50:00.001-08:00

I've recently discovered that I may possibly have become somewhat slightly high maintenance. How and when did this happen? And more importantly can a person be "slightly high maintenance?"

Probably not...

More Holiday Fun

2011-01-06T20:39:00.000-08:00

Ang and Brayden

Nick and Becky doing a little Christmas jig

Ryan and Melly

Leslie and Brad

Just a little after dinner dancing

Casey and Patrick

Most of the gang at dinner--

Look at the gorgeous table and my fabulous friends!

Patrick Nick and Becky

Doing a little Garth Brooks.

Ang and Tory

Opening my awesome gift from Brandon.

Andrea Leslie and Jeff

This really truly was a wonderful holiday season so many

wonderful moments to remember forever. I love my life.

Love my friends and family and the bazillion blessings

I get to experience each day.

Happy Holidays to all!

Decisions are the Worst

2011-01-05T19:27:00.001-08:00

Tonight after my weekly dinner date with RHC we went to look at a new apartment for me. My lease expired last week and against my better judgement I said I would sign another 6 month lease. To put it mildly I have major commitment issues and despise signing leases. Even though I have no real intention of moving I hate the thought of being stuck anywhere. After I agreed to sign the lease (but haven't done it yet) I discovered that there will be another noisy tiny human living upstairs in about 6 months. I love that my place is newish, mostly affordable and close to work. I love all my things but without a doubt my apartment is TINY. Miniature. Wee.

The place we looked at tonight is 2 blocks from where I currently live (so still super close to work) and is GIGANTIC. So freaking big--at least 2.5 times the size of my current place. The house is newer and pretty and I'd have a living room, two real bedrooms, a walk-in closet and a pantry in the kitchen. An actual pantry.

Reasons not to take the new place:

*I hate moving. A lot.
*More money per month
*I'd have to buy a washer/dryer and a bunch more furniture to fill all the space
*I did agree to sign the damn lease
*I hate moving
*The big fat unknown
*Would I really move to another place in The UC? If I were to move wouldn't it be up North?
*Did I say how much I hate moving?

Regardless of what happens it is something to think about and consider--as if I don't have enough rolling around in my head right now. Oy vey.

SERENITY NOW

2011-01-03T19:40:00.001-08:00

I know I'm a stress case and I know I've had a lot of intense jobs and lots of ridiculous responsibilities but I've never worked this hard, under this much stress with this many complications in the air.

I'm not corporate-work-a-holic-girl. I like doing my little job, doing it well and bolting out the door at 4:58 to go experience my real life. I don't like running around like a crazy person and leaving work at 8:20 p.m. because I can't think any longer.

Oh, if I survive the next couple of weeks it will be the best New Years Miracle ever.

In the words of my good friend Mr. Costanza:

SERENITY NOW!

To The Real True Grit

2011-01-02T19:08:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was my Grandpa's birthday. He died several years ago but I still think of him every year on his birthday. He was a real old fashioned cowboy with true grit--maybe even more grit than my father would have wished but he loved us and when we were little took us camping (yeah, I've been camping) and fishing and taught us how to ride horses. My mom said he was her real John Wayne and so yesterday in Grandpa's honor we went to see the new version of True Grit. The film was fantastic starring Jeff Bridges, Matt Damon and Hailee Steinfeld and makes me want to read the book. My Grandpa may not have been a US Marshal but he was a great man who could definitely out cowboy Rooster Cogburn.

Happy Birthday, Grandpa!

BC = H.O.T

2010-12-24T23:06:00.001-08:00

I'm really quite certain that Bradley Cooper could not possibly be hotter than he is right now.

That's all.

I promise.

Taking a Moment

2010-12-24T22:57:00.000-08:00

I rarely watch commercials but the other night while I was re-watching a favorite Modern Family episode and busily wrapping gifts I saw a Dove candy bar commercial that had some really great advice for all my women friends out there...

We're only human but we try to be perfect. We pretend that high heels are comfortable and that waxing just takes getting used to. We pretend that we can manage anything that's thrown at us and sometimes we can and other times we just have to cut ourselves some slack and take a moment.

Here's to a great 2011 of being honest with ourselves, acknowledging that we are real women and taking all the moments we need to be happy healthy and wise.

Holiday Summary 2010

2010-12-24T22:24:00.000-08:00

This holiday season has been wonderfully filled with all sorts of activities: cheesy holiday movies (even the Lifetime TV/ABC Family ones), holiday parties, baking, looking at lights, shopping for people I know and some that I don't. Work fundraiser for Food Bank (yay) which I got to happily drop off and see the good in action, Hot Coco and homemade pretzels and walking around temple square with friends, an actual christmas tree in my living room, the bestest ever 'Friends Christmas Dinner', and all kinds of other fun. I'm super excited to celebrate the actual day with my family tomorrow and to look forward to an even better 2011. Many Christmas wishes to all of you at this the 'Most Wonderful Time of the Year'.

My tree. Yes I actually have a tree this year.

Nick Dani Patrick at Brunch before

Craft Sabbath December

Mel Jeff Ang

Mel and Jeff

Leslie Brandon

Casey Sarah Tory

Mel and Dani at Ramstack's Holiday party

Yum yum in my tum tum.
Bake Fest 2010

RHC and Jess at Bake Fest

More goodies

and more...it is really quite disturbing how many treats we made.

Ang and Ju at White Christmas

Mel and boys at party

Ang and Nick at Party

Ang Kenzie and JoJo at Cousins Party

Gorgeous lights at Temple Square

Nick and Jeff

Tory Patrick Mel Nick Dani and Jeff

and then there's me.

So much to be grateful for. Happiness and love all around.

Cookies for Jesus

2010-12-24T21:54:00.001-08:00

Today was an incredibly busy but exceptionally wonderful day. I saw lots of friends and loved ones wished many a Merry Christmas and even saw a couple of movies: one with my friend-family and one with my real family. Right now I'm curled up on my sofa watching Love Actually which I consider to be the best Christmas movie ever and eating my delicious homemade bread pudding. I'm quite sure that life can barely get better than this. I've been fortunate to be able to spread joy and cheer in different ways and to celebrate this holiday with so many of the wonderful people in my life. I feel more blessed and loved this holiday season than I ever have in my life.

Earlier this evening after the tiny humans did the traditional Nativity story/scene Grandma asked each of them what gift they could give to Jesus this year. The big kids all said that they could show love to their families but one of the tiniest looked at her and said he could give cookies to Jesus. So for everyone out there in their own special way give cookies to Jesus this year and keep him in your thoughts.

Prayers for Mia's Family

2010-12-21T20:07:00.001-08:00

I have this friend. Her name is Lori and we've been friends since we were four years old. For those of you inclined towards math that's a really long time. Our parents are super close, most of their kids are the same ages as ours, Lori's big sisters used to be my babysitters and her sister Ami was meant to marry my brother Mike. Sure they were kids but still it was a big deal. Our friendship has definitely had its ups and downs but we are the kind of friends who will always have a bond--Lori is that friend for me that helped define my childhood. When I think of Tallahassee I immediately think of Lori and her family and thanks to the goodness of Facebook we've all reconnected in the last few years. On Saturday afternoon after my major meltdown-post-failed photo shoot-disaster I sat in my car trying to avoid bursting into tears and checked my E-mail and found a whole different reason to cry. One of my messages was from Lori telling her friends about her cousin Mia who had been kidnapped and was still missing. She was asking for those outside of the Florida area to be on the lookout and also to keep Mia in our prayers. All weekend I checked my E-mail and Facebook constantly waiting for updates and good news. I read an article about the search and Mia's mom was quoted as saying that she was so stunned that at a time when gas prices were so high and people were so busy that thousands of people were out driving and looking for her daughter--that they'd already had their Christmas miracle of seeing their community come together.

Unfortunately this story ends terribly and this morning my mom called to tell me that they had found Mia's body and were able to identify her via dental records. My heart aches for my friends and for their loss and I wish so much I could be there to wrap my arms around them and to help take away their pain. I can't run away to Florida but I can do one thing. I can pray for their family to have peace and I can pray for other kinds of Christmas miracles. If you read this and are someone who prays maybe you too can pray for my friends and for some of their pain to be lifted.

The Dress

2010-12-13T20:45:00.000-08:00

Several months ago I borrowed a dress from my friend Z for a wedding I had to attend. It was an awesome dress and looked spectacular on me. After the wedding I looked all over for it and finally found it in a size smaller on e-Bay. Brand new. Tags still on and so I bought it and I love it -- there is only one problem: it doesn't quite fit. I can wear it (I did wear it to a funeral in May) with a jacket but the zipper doesn't go up all the way. I hate that even though it is my actual size it doesn't fit so I've been desperately trying to rectify the situation. Last month my colleague LD and I joined a gym and I've been working out five days a week to reach my goal of wearing my dress to a special dinner party on December 23rd. 10 more days. I have 10 more days to do what I've got to do to get into that dress.

Trying to stay motivated.

Trying so hard to avoid treats.

Trying to kick butt at the gym so that my actual butt gets smaller.

Birthday Bash

2010-12-13T18:00:00.000-08:00

This had been a really great year and so to celebrate I decided to throw myself a party at my favorite place in The UC --The Chocolate Dessert Cafe. I invited everyone and asked that instead of gifts they donate a can of food for every year that they'd known me as a donation to the Utah Food Bank. It was amazing to have so many of the people that I love in the same place at the same time and was a wonderfully overwhelming and yet fantastic evening.

Tiffy and Nick (he's a really good egg)

Cherie Wendi and Ang

Mmm Mmm Good!

Spouse (not mine) won a prize.

Becky and Paul

Mike and Kacee

Bob

Brenda Mom and Kris

Casey and Brandon

Cali and Geoff

Stacy and Dave

Jess and RHC

Ju Kim and Tina

Kim and Steph

The adorable Larsen's

Me and Ju

Ang and the only Tiny Human invited to my party.

Me and Shane

Ang and Tina

Mikey and Susie

Mom and Mike

Dani Tory Patrick Casey Brandon and Nick

(Dallin and Jeff seem to be missing)

Gorgeous Adri with her prize

m.i. Dubb and Bob

My favorite Pickle's

Steve Lesli and Kacee

Just some of the food (there was a ton) that we were able to donate to the Food Bank. When Adri dropped it off on Monday she told the guy my story and he started crying and she started crying and then she told me and I started crying. Good times. Great party.

Amazing friends and food. I am so blessed.

P.S. I'm having trouble uploading a couple of my pictures. Will try back later.

MonkeyMonkeyMonkey

2010-12-13T17:41:00.001-08:00

Stuff I learned today...

*Screaming "MONKEY" in my head is a great F-word replacement.
*One should not watch The Walking Dead while eating dinner.
*It is really great to sit in my dark living room with the lights on the Christmas tree.
*Christina Aguilera has amazing power to help me finish that last two minutes on the monkey stair master. Who knew?
*Work stress may actually drive me insane.
*Friend Jeremy was on-line today so I know he is safe in Iraq. Modern technology is amazing.
*After making my list and checking it twice I really should not be sitting here blogging and watching TV. I should be shopping.
*Telling my mom that I want 'Peace on Earth and for People to be Nice to Each Other' for Christmas probably made her very frustrated with me.
*I love my tree.
*Someone I know (who is my age) died today of monkey cancer and I'm feeling so sad for her family.

That's all.

I'm back!

2010-12-12T20:16:00.000-08:00

Okay, I know I haven't blogged in a very long time but I promise to be better. I promise. I do have some news...my "I wish he was my boyfriend Justin" will be back on the next Amazing Race.

Yay!

Words to Live By

2010-06-10T19:29:00.001-07:00

Quinn: If you quit the club I'll let you touch my breast.

Quinn: Remember the power motto ladies--it's all about the teasing and not about the pleasing.

Quinn: Let's pair up for the Immaculate Affection. Now remember, if the balloon pops the noise makes the angels cry.

Quinn: I want my kids to be able to look back at these books and see who I was, make them proud--not the bastard one I'm carrying now--of course--the ones I'll have when I'm married and ready.

Quinn: Status is like currency. When your bank account is full you can get away with doing just about anything but right now, we're like, toxic assets.

Quinn: When my mom applied to college she put being popular as being one of her extra curricular activities.

Quinn: I know some guys cheat on their wives or pregnant girlfriends. Just don't do it with Rachel.

So many good lines. I could type all day.

Don't Be a Guy. Be a Man.

2010-06-10T18:23:00.000-07:00

D.C.: Lloyd, why do you have to be like this?
Lloyd Dobler: 'Cause I'm a guy. I have pride.
Corey Flood: You're not a guy.
Lloyd Dobler: I am.
Corey Flood: No. The world is full of guys. Be a man. Don't be a guy.

I love guys. But lately it's been a little rough and they have not been looking all that good. Not bad enough to make me a lesbian but definitely not good. I keep hearing about all these girls who are my age and are now finding out that they are Starter Wives. A few weeks ago one of my closest friends was sexually assaulted by a married co-worker and someone else I know of who JUST got married 6 months ago is pregnant and discovered that her awesome husband has already been cheating on her. Someone else I know got caught with a hooker. What's up? It makes me mad. It breaks my heart and of course it scares the hell out of me. Just when I was getting to the point where I was not loving the guys in the world I witnessed and/or remembered a few amazing moments that make me feel so much better:

*The guy friend who gave his baby a beautiful blessing this past Sunday.
*The guy friend who takes his kids so his wife can get away and doesn't consider it babysitting.
*The guy friend who held his niece while she sobbed even though his heart was broken as well.
*The guy friend who knows me way too well and calls me on my bullshiz.
*The guy friend who is ALWAYS early, opens doors and walks me to my car no matter how far away I parked. Who one night as we watched our girl friend walk off into the distance REALLY tried to figure out how to walk Amanda, Mae and myself home even though we lived all over the place. "My mom would kill me if she knew I just let a girl walk home at one in the morning in the middle of Washington Heights...". Adore.
*The guy friend who when he comes to see his wife walks INTO the office instead of sitting in the car waiting for her.
*The guy friend who always gives his wife the most amazingly thoughtful gifts on one of her not so favorite days.
*The guy friend who is kind and thoughtful and even when he's trying to be studly.
*The guy friend who even at his wife's funeral talked about how much he loved her and how he "envied no man".
*The guy friend who patiently teaches his 3 year old how to miniature golf even though she was really really struggling.
*The guy friend who always makes me feel so comfortable with their family and doesn't treat me like 'my wife's friend'. I'll never forget the time he came up to me and said, "You're on a very short list of girls I'm allowed to be alone with--want a ride home"?

Several months ago I was with two girl friends and we were talking about another friend whose husband I don't love and my friend started laughing and said, "On the one hand we have the husband she hates. On the other hand the one she loves and then there's mine. Somewhere in the middle. He says and does weird awkward things and acts crazy around her". True, he is awkward but that's just because he's a nice awkward kind of a guy. I actually adore him.

I know a lot of really great men and they more than make up for all the ass-hats guys that I also know of. Funnily enough--these also happen to be the men who make my Best Husbands List each year. Ponder that.

ChristmasHanukkahFestivusBirthday

2010-06-01T18:40:00.000-07:00

Last week at work was mostly wretched but for one tiny little announcement. It was like Christmas, Hanukkah, Festivus and my Birthday all at the same time.

Bye, Bye, Bish!

Angie Hates Dogs

2010-06-01T18:27:00.000-07:00

Athens, Georgia, Christmas Day 1980something my brother Dave and I got bikes from Santa and we were in our neighborhood trying out our new toys when we were chased and then attacked by a big dog. I don't remember what kind but it was big and mean and from that day on I've been REALLY scared of dogs. When I was in college my family got a dog named Nikita and I stopped talking to them for months. Nikita wasn't anything to be afraid of but I hated her ever living guts and used to call her Kruschev just to make my sister cry. After living in NYC for two years where there are dogs everywhere the fear somewhat subsided and I've been mostly okay but I still hate dogs. Tonight after my run I got home and tried to find a taser gun online so that tomorrow when I go I can get back at the 6 dogs who chased/barked at me during my 30 minute run. I HATE DOGS!!!!!

P.S. there are four exceptions: Chloe, Jake, Spindleshanks and Bug. Those dogs have hilarious personalities and they crack me up. I also like their owners a lot. Maybe that's part of it.

P.P.S. I'm kidding about the taser gun. I promise.

Stuff I Know

2010-05-17T19:47:00.000-07:00

*Even though I will NEVER be that girl who looks forward to it and/or loves it, exercise is exhilarating. It makes you feel empowered and amazing. Thanks, RHC for making me go biking tonight.

*Making others listen to your shizzy music when they are calling you is really annoying. I had to call an employee four times in the last two days and this is what I know: God is Great, Beer is Good and People are Crazy. Ugh!!!!!! Makes me want to put one of my favorite Spring Awakening or Next to Normal songs on my phone while people wait for me to answer.

*It is a little bit offensive to me that really GREAT movies only play in one theater (if any) in the great state of Utah. For instance, four times in the last two weeks I've had to drive to SLC to see various films and yet the movie Marmaduke will be playing on dozens and dozens of screens across the state. It is also offensive to me that Creation is not playing in an entire region of our country but I'm not in the mood to pick a fight with The Bible Belt today so I'm going to try and let it go.

*Elevators are H-O-T!

*10.75 more weeks until my colleague comes back from maternity leave and I get to just do my job. I really need to make a paper chain to help me count down the days. Yes, it is pathetic that I'm completely overwhelmed and it is only the beginning of week 2.

*I hate that one of my favorite songs from Rent is a Macy's commercial.

*I have the coolest friends. Ever.

*iTunes rules all. That's all.

Classes, anyone?

2010-05-13T18:29:00.000-07:00

Don't get me wrong, I love Community Ed classes. I've been taking them for years as a great way to take fun classes for super cheap and they're also very fun. I've taken belly dancing, computer classes, photography classes, cooking classes, jewelry making, pottery, and I'm sure other even more random things. Tonight, I was looking at the most recent catalog looking to see which class I should take and found a bunch that I think will help me find a husband:

Concealed Firearms Permit Course
Backyard Birding
Fly Fishing for Fun
Gold Prospecting--Really?
Tae Kwon Do and Life Skills
Managing Anger--this one is my second favorite. I'm sure you can figure out which is my first.

I can't stop giggling. I know there's nothing truly wrong with these classes but I'm pretty sure I'm not going to find a good little dirty liberal like myself at any of these places. Pretty sure. Oh, also, who in their right mind is going pay $45 to take iPhone introduction? Good hell come on over and I'll freaking show you how to use it.

P.S. RHC--I think we should actually take a class--up for one?

Ridiculous

2010-05-10T18:34:00.000-07:00

One of my most favorite things is when the little people use big words for the first time. I still remember the first time Brayden who is now 12.5 used the word 'Actually' in a sentence. "Actually, Ang, it is the dryer that shrinks clothes--not the washer". Love being corrected by a 3 year old. As if I didn't know that the dryer is the shrinker not the washer. However, in order to get something dryer worthy it MUST first be washed. By the way, it is nearly impossible to reason with a small child. Or, when he was the same age and he told my mom he was going to be a Paleontologist when he grew up. She asked if he knew what that was and he told her that it was a person who studied dinosaur bones. How did Dave and Adri produce such a brilliant kid? Tonight, Becky had Zack (he will be three next month) tell us his new word 'Ridiculous'. I LOVE IT! It is so completely adorable.

And the Question Is...

2010-05-07T20:54:00.000-07:00

...how many times in three hours can someone go to the grocery store?

Answer...3.

1) Winco. Not sure how I feel about that store. It is definitely cheaper than anywhere else (and I really like that) but the crowds are horrible, the floor plan makes no sense and I HATE bagging my own groceries. If I wanted to do that I would work at a grocery store. Also, couldn't find three things and so I had to drop the groceries at my house and then go to Ridley's.

2) Ridley's. Picked up the few things I missed at Winco. Went home and made cookies. They look ridiculous but taste good. Not sure if I will be taking them to the party tomorrow so had to go out AGAIN to get different ingredients.

3) Allen's. Not my favorite store by any stretch but there were only a few cars in the parking lot so I ran in and got what I needed for the cupcakes.

Love grocery shopping. Love.

Pink?

2010-05-03T19:46:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure where it all came from but I've been a little bit obsessed with pink lately. Not so much the artist although I do love her but mostly obsessed with the color pink. I have a new pink iPod and also a new pink wallet. I didn't think anything of it until my friend Jeff asked me if I had his niece's wallet. Is it super creepy? I don't care. I like pink.

Also, I must add although I know I've blogged about this before, all of it reminds me of a conversation from over a year ago between two of my colleagues about me:

R: Shaking her head...I don't even know who she is anymore.
Z: What do you mean? She's looks great.
R: She's wearing PINK. Pink. And she has critters on her ears!

(I was wearing a pink sweater and these really great pink & orange fish earrings)

Life is Grand. Really, really Grand.

2010-05-03T18:40:00.000-07:00

I don't feel the way I've ever felt.

I know.

I'm gonna smile and not get worried.

I try but it shows.

Anyone can make what I have built.

And better now.

Anyone can find the same white pills.

It takes my pain away.

The only way I can properly get ready in the morning—is to jig around the bathroom singing and dancing while blow drying my hair. This morning during Pain by Jimmy Eat World I had the end of an epiphany that has been building for several days—I’m happy. I’m totally and completely at peace with myself, and my life and am comfortable in my own skin--I’m quite positive I’ve never actually felt like this. And unlike Jimmy it isn’t because of a little white pill. It started on Wednesday afternoon when I was texting Julia on the way to the airport and she told me, “you may be surprised to find how happy you are to be back”. I thought she was a little nuts or at the least just in a better place than me but honestly (you can ask anyone) all day on Thursday I was so happy and relieved and just felt good about the fact that I do live here. Yes, I miss my NY friends. I miss aspects of the life I had there but in the last several days I’ve realized: I HAVE A REALLY GREAT LIFE! I have the most amazing friends. I have a fantastic job that I’m really good at and that I truly enjoy. Yeah, I live in The UC and that’s hard but it’s helping me to be a better Christian—something that I’ve been striving for in the last year. I may not be currently drinking the kool-aid but I'm a good person and I do good things. Sure, I don’t fit in but I don’t want to. I like who I am. I’m weird and nerdy. I celebrate Easter and Passover. I like learning about other cultures and people. I try not to judge others and try to be understanding of the differences and similarities that we all share. I love all things pop culture. I love that I’m independent—that I can do things for myself—but also that I when I need to I can call a friend for help. I love that I can go to brunch with a friend and then go and see a movie by myself in the same day. I don’t want to do that every day but I LOVE that I can do it. I love that I can pay bills and download pictures from my camera and fix the flat on my bike. I love that I'm out living my life and not waiting for it to begin. I love that even though the human baby incubator thinks her life is more important than mine that it actually isn't more important--it is just different. Just to prove how nerdy I am I recently remembered something from one of my philosophy classes about the Greek philosopher Epictetus, “Because you consider yourself to be only one thread of those which are in the tunic. Well then it was fitting for you to take care of how you should be like the rest of men, just as the thread has no design to be anything superior to the other threads. But I wish to be purple, that small part which is bright, and makes all the rest appear graceful and beautiful. Why then do you tell me to make myself like the many? And if I do, how shall I still be purple?” Even though sometimes it is tough to be purple and rough to stick out that’s who I am and I want to be comfortable being the purple thread. In one of the Broadway shows that I saw last week we were encouraged to find the Rapture everyday--to find the little “r-rapture” in every day things. And so as I think about all the little “r’s” in my life and I add them up I’m incredibly blessed and so terrifically happy.

Perfectly Unexpectedly Wonderful

2010-04-30T19:11:00.000-07:00

A week ago tonight I took a much needed little trip home for a few days. I had originally planned on meeting Meredith and having a fabulous time running all over and eating at all of our favorite places. However, as blogged about earlier plans change and it looked as if I would spend much of my five full days in NYC alone. At the time I tried really hard to be positive and I tried even harder to keep my chin up but I was worried about my sanity and emotional well being for spending so much time alone. A few years ago I would have been completely and totally comfortable in that situation but things have changed and I've changed and the thought of it was very unappealing. Since I already had a plane ticket and four Broadway show tickets I bit the bullet and jumped on the plane. Perfectly. Unexpectedly. Wonderful. That's what this trip was for me. I was with friends nearly the entire time. I had unexpected calls, texts and invitations that made my trip fantastic. Even running into my Doppelganger didn't wreck my trip--may have put a slight damper on it but the fact that I won a ton of ridiculously expensive fabric in the same hour made it all worth while. Especially since I got to give it to Kendra for her to make dresses for two of my favorite little girls in the entire world.

Lexi being fascinated by the yarn winder thingy.

Lexi and Ang at Economy Candy.

Cope's eating yummy dumplings in China Town.

Ella...hard day?

Ang at Brooklyn Bridge

Gorgeous! Love that view.

Why even pretend as if I didn't go to New York for the food?
This is Economy Candy and part of my fabulous and

fun filled day in SoHo, China Town, LES with

my favorite family in the whole city.

Do I need to say anything? Probably not.

Jeff said this was the best food he'd ever had in NYC.

I didn't believe him and I hate being wrong.

This little Indian food cart is easily the best Indian food

I've ever eaten and quite possibly the best food EVER!

46th and 6th Avenue

Mmmmm, good! What could be better than

sitting at the Chip Shop in Park Slope

being waited on by a HOT British server

listening to The Smith's and eating the best

fish n chips and fried PB Cup in the world?

Could only have been better with Mere and Andrea.

Me at the Chip Shop

Shake Shake UWS. So good and totally worth

the wait on a dreary bleak and rainy Sunday afternoon.

Oh, my heavens! Best doughnuts I've ever consumed.

Corner of Norfolk and Grand, LES.

Most favorite people in all of the city. I love you guys so much and had the best time hanging out with you and Alexis and Ella. Loved our Saturday walking all over the city, will forever treasure Sunday morning memories and the good morning hug I got from Ella and for dinner at Sosa Borella. I love my bag too--I've gotten a zillion compliments! You are so wonderfully talented and I'm so happy we are friends. I do think it is humorous how we all became friends--especially given my current feelings on the program in general.

Some friends are forever and I'm so glad we met.

Ang and Kendra

On Wednesday morning I got to see the Picasso exhibit at The Met.

I was blown away by The Blind Man's Meal & Man with Hat and Violin but

nothing can explain the feelings I had when I saw Mother and Child on a Bench.

That painting touched my heart so much.

I have tears in my eyes right now just thinking about it

and I stood in front of it for a good 15 minutes taking it all in.

Someday I will get a copy of that picture for my home.

I love NYC parks. If the weather hadn't been so completely and totally wretched I would have spent a lot of time sitting, reading and people watching in my favorite places. Instead I took a couple of pictures in Bryant Park, Central Park and Washington Square Park so I'd have a memory of all of the other hundreds of hours I have done those activities in my favorite parks.

Bestest Friends

2010-04-30T18:43:00.000-07:00

I have the coolest, sweetest, most incredible friends.

One such friend gave me this completely fabulously clever 'thank you' gift. How amazing is it? I love it and don't really want to take it apart.

Death of a DVR

2010-04-30T18:26:00.000-07:00

I'm not a hoarder. I don't keep old stuff. I don't have a lot of sentimental attachment to things and whatnot but I do save stuff on my DVR. The thing that makes it so I don't just turn on the TV and watch random ridiculousness. The thing that records all my shows whenever they are on. The thing that makes it so I rarely have to think about anything until I'm in the mood to watch. Sometimes I save shows so that I can re-watch (Parenthood, Glee, FNL) and sometimes I save TV for a "rainy day" and/or summer when there's nothing else to watch (The Office, HIMYM) and sometimes I save stuff because it is nearly impossible to watch certain shows one at a time (Lost). Last Thursday night my DVR died. Dead. Hard drive fried. Tonight the new one came and although I'm relieved he's back I'm just a bit sad about the 80 hours of fabulousness and happiness that is gone. Tonight since I clearly have no life and according to the unbelievable bitch from last night I have no priorities I am setting up my season passes and hoping I don't forget anything. Good times.

Damn You, American Idol!

2010-04-21T17:55:00.001-07:00

Thanks to a show that I HATE I missed the end of Glee! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Thank goodness for Hulu but I like keeping them on DVR so I can re-watch.

Damn, damn, damn!

Power of a Great Dress

2010-04-21T17:42:00.000-07:00

It's been a long time since I felt the Power. If you are a girl you know what I'm talking about--the power of a great dress. Last Friday night I had to go to my friend LJ's wedding. I did not want to go and when I received the invitation I half hoped it would be this weekend so I wouldn't have to go but it was last weekend and I was in town so I knew I had to go. I adore Lynley and wanted to see her happy but you know...weddings. Ugh. Full body shiver.

I desperately needed something hot to wear and had looked around a little bit but mostly just waited until the last second and then freaked out about having nothing to wear. My friend Z came to the rescue with the most incredible dress...the dress completely transformed me. It was so pretty and flattering and with the dress and the jewelry and really great hair I felt like a princess. Not creepy Barbie going to the Prom princess but like a good kind of princess. Actually, I looked so little like me that LJ's dad didn't even recognize me and her mom started crying when she saw me. All I can say is clothes can give you power and for a teeny tiny moment I got to experience that power.

Law of Accountability

2010-04-19T20:26:00.000-07:00

Last week I agreed to run a 5K on June 26th and I know the only way to keep me accountable and on track is to blog about it. I'm sure a 5K is no biggie for most people but for me it is going to be huge. The fact that RHC couldn't get me out of my reading chair to take a walk tonight makes me skeptical that I can begin the training this week but I said it and I wrote it and now I have to do it.

Go me.

P.S. my new reading chair is really comfy and my book is really good and I feel really shizzy lately so there are a few reasons that I couldn't go on the walk. Not just pure laziness.

Fear and Loathing Volcanoes

2010-04-19T19:34:00.000-07:00

A not smart person would say that it is ironic that a while ago I likened myself to Iceland and now that lovely country's act of God is messing up my vacation plans. However, that not smart person would be taking vocabulary lessons from Alanis and not from Richard Castle or Troy Dyer. Irony isn't really really bad luck. Today I got the official news that Meredith is stuck in Dubai and then London until after I leave to come back to The UC. I'm not mad. I'm not even terribly upset. I'm just kinda sad. I will still have a terrific time next week in New York seeing my friends and exploring all of my favorite places but I was very much looking forward to doing a lot of that with Mere. Oh, and also damn happy that I got distracted by something dumb last week when I was going to buy surprise theater tickets for the two of us for Tuesday night. Now I can just buy one and call it good. Guess it is a good thing that I'm kosher doing things by myself. Oy vey.

P.S. Mere--I'm super happy you finally got a ticket out of Dubai.

Thoughts about Mothers

2010-04-15T18:44:00.000-07:00

About a month ago my good friends found out that their mother's cancer was back and that she was very ill and beyond treatments. It's been a very rough month for their family and will only get worse as the end gets closer. I've struggled so much with wanting to do something but being completely impotent other than random homemade deliveries and being there for Ju when she needs a Lost break. Today she shared the news about her mom with a bunch of her closest friends and also included a link to her sister's blog where sweet Emily had written a very special tribute to their mother. There I was, sitting in my office holding my phone up to my eyes so I could read the text with tears streaming down my face. The tears were getting in the way when my phone was sitting on my desk so I had to hold it up so I could actually read. Emily is an incredible writer and had so many wonderful things to say about their mom and about how time has been for their family. I couldn't control the tears and finally had to have my friend Z distract me with random conversation so that I could stop crying. I'm so sad for my friends and their family and for the fact that they are literally watching their mother slip away but also because there's no way to experience this with someone you love and not think about it happening to you. Of course my parents drive me bonkers. They are both so kind and good to me and I love them dearly but as hard as they try to relate to me they have no idea what my life is like and no real concept of the things that I go through. Even with all of that and the normal and not-so-normal struggles that we face I cannot imagine my life without them--thus the tears and the fact that I'm crying yet again. To my mom and to all of the other mothers in my world thank you so much for your example and for the gifts that you share with me every day. To Nate and Emily and Julia I wish you peace.

Baseball, anyone?

2010-04-15T18:37:00.001-07:00

I just drove past a ball park and nearly burst into tears. Yes, I hate the sports but I love me some live baseball and love watching my little nephews play ball. The best part about having three little boys playing baseball is that there is always a game to watch. This year will be different. My boys and their sister (and their parents) moved last Saturday to Atlanta and so there will be ZERO games for me to watch. I could and probably will watch Steve on Sunday afternoons. He plays in the Hispanic league and those games are pretty decent. Not as fun as watching little guys figure out how to play ball but better than nothing. Of course there are always my Owlz too. Hopefully RHC is up for more baseball than usual and will invite me along.

Oops...I forgot...

2010-04-14T20:00:00.001-07:00

I forgot one of my new favorite things: The Moth podcast on iTunes.

Laughing so hard I can't catch my breath.

Crying like a baby.

Loving every single second of every single episode.

Stuff I Love

2010-04-13T20:02:00.000-07:00

I complain a lot on my blog so tonight I thought I'd do something a little different and list some of the things I love...

New Kotex commercial
Will, Emma, Rachel, Terri, Quinn, Finn, Puck, Sue, Kurt and the rest of the gang
The Chocolate
The Word The
Blue Lemon
Wearing cute shoes again
Incredible friends
20 little people
Steve Jobs
Cruise control while on 1200 E in Lehi
DVR
Red
Freshly laundered sheets
TV on DVD
Sunday jeans
Perfectly manicured fingers
Earrings
72 degrees
New books
Not stupid people a.k.a. smart people
Diet Coke from work
Baking
Smiles
8:30
Chanandaler Bong
Massages
Shuffle
Nicknames
Mountains

I'm sure there are hundreds of other things but these are the few that popped in my mind while I was trying to positive prime myself.

The End in Sight

2010-04-08T18:59:00.000-07:00

This afternoon I learned the bestest thing ever -- 2.5 more months of GH and then we're donnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Happiness.

25, 25, 25, 25...

2010-03-29T20:12:00.001-07:00

25 more days!

Me, friends, food, and fun.

I have a special project for this trip. In the past I was conscious of looking like a tourist so I relied too much on my crappy camera phone to take pictures of New York. This time, I'm taking my fancy camera and I'm spending the first few days before Meredith arrives running all over the city and creating a photo journal that will eventually be a fantastic digital scrapbook of My New York. My favorite places, favorite people, etc. I've begun making my list and even ordered a new 2010 NFT New York guide--can't find my old one and so I figured I could use a new one anyway.

Yay--can't wait!

P.S. KC--when are we going to Sosa Borella?

C-Town

2010-03-29T20:05:00.000-07:00

I used to shop at C-Town a local "grocery store" think big 7-11 but with labels and products no one has ever heard of. It's been two years since I shopped there but I'm beginning to think that I work there. Not so much the big 7-11 but I think Jerry Seinfeld called it Bizarr-o World where everything feels crazy and backwards.

That's how I've felt in the last few days:

C-Town
Bizarr-o World
Cray-Cray Land

Whatever works best.

Shalom, Passover!

2010-03-29T19:59:00.000-07:00

Has anyone EVER seen anything cuter than my Moses? I made him--yes it was me--not my 8 year old nephew but I think he's fantastic! I especially love his crazy sticking up hair and my special commandments...

Peace, health and good times on Passover.

The Chocolate

2010-03-25T18:51:00.000-07:00

I cheated tonight and not just on Lent. I cheated and I feel dirty and gross. So dirty that I had to come home and immediately brush my teeth to make the taste go away. I cheated on my favorite place in all of Utah. The only teeny tiny bit of Heaven in this place--The Chocolate. I'm not sure if I've blogged about it yet but I love The Chocolate. It is the cutest, coziest, most adorable bakery/dessert cafe in all the world. The owner has my same name and she's totally cool and nice and normal and has the best treats this side of the Hudson. In some ways Ange's cakes are even better than some of my favorites in New York. I love The Chocolate and I go there so much that they even know my name. Anyone who truly knows me knows that in a normal circumstance I'd be completely mortified but I'm 100% okay with the fact that they know me. RHC and I wanted to try this "other cupcake place" and so we went. We ate and now I'm done. It was fine. The cake was actually moist which was surprising to me because it looked as if it would be dry but the frosting was ick and the place itself was too commercial and chainey looking. The Chocolate has fantastic furniture--stuff I'd have in my house--with real plates and glasses and fresh flowers on all the tables. Sugar, spice and EVERYTHING nice--that's The Chocolate.

non-Cougar non-Whorey Kind of a Way

2010-03-21T17:48:00.001-07:00

So many funny things happen at my work--most of which I can't talk about but the other day someone I'll call Wayne did a favor for me and then I had this conversation with Baz.

Ang: Thanks for helping work that out. P.S. in case I haven't said it lately I heart Wayne.
Ang: In a purely professional non-whorey kind of a way.
Baz: I love the "purely professional non-whorey kind of a way".
Ang: I should have said, "in a purely professional, non-Cougar, non-whorey kind of a way"
Baz: You do NOT qualify as a Cougar.
Ang: Yeah, cause I'm not hot.
Baz: No, because you are NOT old enough to be his mother. P.S. I heart Wayne too in a purely professional non-whorey kind of a way.
Ang: heehee

OHP Sighting

2010-03-21T17:45:00.001-07:00

Yesterday at the Home Show I ran into OHP. Pretty sure he didn't recognize me but I still do the full body shiver every time I think about turning around and having his creepy face starring at me. Ugh! I do not miss seeing that mug every day.

The best part was that after it happened I told my friend that I ran into OHP and even though she doesn't know him she is still scarred by that movie and so she totally understood. Fantastic!

What Happens in Vegas

2010-03-21T17:14:00.001-07:00

What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas...I hate that phrase pretty much as much as I generally hate Vegas but last weekend I had a really good time with Julia and Kristen as we shopped like crazy people picking out the new bedroom furniture for Julia's master bedroom and all the bedding to go with it. I love helping other spend money and even got a few things for myself including a gorgeous and unique vase and some new pillows for my sofa.

Ju's new bed or at least in 4-6 weeks it will be her new bed.

Our toes after the fabulous pedicure we got to celebrate her birthday.

Julia and Kristen.

My favorite new vase! Isn't it awesome?

So, we really did have a great time even driving so much in such a short period of time. That is until we pulled into St. George and realized we'd lost two hours (day light savings AND the time change)! That's what happens when you put two liberal arts girls who clearly can't do math together...as soon as we realized how late it was we put the pedal to the metal and got home in record time. We listened to a lot of Broadway which was great and also made the drive so

much better and made me so excited to see Next to Normal next month. B'way here I come!

And Then She Opened her Mouth...

2010-03-09T20:00:00.000-08:00

I hate that I look like a conservative priss but to an extent I've come to terms with the fact that my work wardrobe does make me appear as if I'm conservative. I can probably blame it on two years of a New York wardrobe and the fact that the habit seems to have stuck around. I also hate that after 10 years of knowing me that one of my "work friends" really did (until a week ago when Z set her straight) think that I was a conservative priss. Okay, maybe not a priss but definitely that I was ultra-conservative. I'm not conservative about ANYTHING so the fact that people think I am is somewhat hard for me to handle. Last week, one of my real friends had a fabulously hilarious conversation with someone who knows both of us, who when he first met me, couldn't figure out how we were friends. This is what he said:

And then she opened her mouth and it all made sense.

I guess I do look like a conservative priss but I'm not, I'm not, I'm not!

Parable of the Red Sweater

2010-03-09T19:39:00.001-08:00

Last week at The GH we had a Case Study day on being able to accept compliments. I know. I know. Sounds dumb and to a degree it was but after a half hour or so of listening to Scottie and hearing from everyone else he had us to a little exercise where we had to write out a situation in which we received a compliment and how we accepted it. Normally, I'd probably have a hard time with the exercise but my hair looked good that day so I was okay jotting down some notes in case he called on me. Thankfully, he didn't call on me but the whole thing reminded me of something I'd like to call The Parable of the Red Sweater. I love red. A lot. And I used to have this amazing red sweater. It was my favorite article of clothing (wish I knew what happened to it...) and anytime something BIG would come up my friend Mandy would remind me to wear the red sweater. One particular big event was the next night (big, huge night) and Mandy once again reminded me to make sure I wore the red sweater.

Mandy: Make sure you wear the red sweater tomorrow.
Ang: Really, why the red one?
Mandy: because you look great in it and you know you do. You act like a completely different person when you wear that sweater--you NEED to wear it tomorrow night.

So, I wore the red sweater and noticed for the first time that I did act like a different person and had a very successful, very necessary evening of closure. I need to remember to act as if I'm wearing the red sweater every day. Every day is red sweater day. Every day.

Teeny Tiny Celebrations

2010-03-09T18:53:00.001-08:00

Each month at The GH we have to come up with three celebrations for our report day. Today, I gave my monthly report and I had no celebrations to report. However, truth be told, I actually DO HAVE ONE. The damn Girl Scout Cookies arrived on Friday and they are still at work. I left them at work over the weekend and now it is Tuesday evening and I have not touched them!!! TMM opened one of the boxes of Thin Mints today during a "I need chocolate moment" but I STILL DIDN'T TOUCH THEM! Don't know how much longer I can go but isn't one moment at a time cause for celebration? It is for me...yay me!

2010-03-07T19:56:00.000-08:00

Watching the Academy Awards alone sucks.

Oh, how I miss the days of big parties with friends, food and fun.

Bueller, Bueller

2010-03-07T19:46:00.000-08:00

Tonight's Academy Award tribute to John Hughes broke my heart and at the same time made me grin from ear to ear. I remember the first time I saw each and every one of his movies. The first film I ever bought with my own money --Pretty in Pink -- and many many trips to the movie theater to see his films over and over again. My movie life was completely and totally shaped by that man and his films.

When you grow older your heart dies.

Here's to growing older and NOT having my heart die.

I love you John Hughes!

Mustache Monday

2010-03-06T07:51:00.000-08:00

Last Friday one of my colleagues sent around an E-mail encouraging all the guys to participate in Mustache March. Kinda random because we all got the E-mail but it was good for a laugh. Later that day, another colleague came up with the idea to get a bunch of fake mustaches and have the girls wear them to our Monday morning Staff Meeting--or at least the girls who actually have a sense of humor. I thought the idea was genius and super fun. The look on the guys faces while we walked into the room was priceless and made my whole week. Also, mustaches are itchy and hot. I don't know how guys do it.

Playing Me

2010-02-28T14:28:00.000-08:00

Last Saturday I drove to Salt Lake to see a film and although specifically I can't relate to the main character in general some of the lines in the film have seared my soul. Without even thinking about it I swear I go through the same process as George just to get through the day. And for me at least, as I sat in the dark theater thinking, "Geesh, maybe I'm not the only one on the planet who feels this way..." Obviously, I've changed the name to mine so that it reads better:

It takes time in the morning for me to become Angie, time to adjust to what is expected of Angie and how she is to behave. By the time I have dressed and put the final layer of polish on the now slightly stiff but quite perfect (haha--not quite) Angie I know fully what part I'm supposed to play.

And this is also quite incredible:

A few times in my life I've had moments of absolute clarity, when for a few brief seconds the silence drowns out the noise and I can feel rather than think, and things seem so sharp and the world seems so fresh. I can never make these moments last. I cling to them, but like everything, they fade. I have lived my life on these moments. They pull me back to the present, and I realize that everything is exactly the way it was meant to be.

That is what I aspire for. To someday have "absolute clarity" about anything and to realize that "everything is exactly the way it was meant to be". No, I'm not a single man in 1960's Los Angeles strugging with sadness over the loss of my partner but sometimes this place feels like 1960 and I do feel like a square peg trying to fit in a round hole.

Amen.

Dubb

2010-02-28T09:51:00.001-08:00

A couple of weeks ago M. I. Dubb made me take photos of

he and his friends for his new album.

Even though I told him a thousand times that I don't like the

pressure of a photo shoot he has some kind of

freaky power to make me do stuff.

It ended up being semi-fun and I like the first one a lot.

Skawy Witch!

2010-02-23T16:59:00.000-08:00

I *love* the pure honesty of the little people. The other day I was babysitting Bella and we we went to McDonald's to get some "food" (definitely her choice not mine) and she kept pointing at the pretty lady with VERY long hair and saying, "Skawy Witch. Skway Witch." Clearly someone has watched too many Disney movies but hey, I'm not her parent.

Love the little people. Today it is much funnier to me than it was while standing in line at McDonald's. Much funnier.

Warning

2010-02-23T16:54:00.000-08:00

I feel as if it is my duty as a human being to warn everyone that Dill Flavored Green Beans are awful. In fact they are so beyond terrible that if they are accidentally bought, opened, heated up and placed on your plate they will ruin the rest of your dinner. Ugh.

Seriously, I didn't even know they existed but I definitely do now! I think I'm going back to the earlier plan of not ever purchasing vegetables. Much safer...

**P.S. I never buy canned vegetables. Clearly, this was my original mistake.**

66 Days!

2010-02-18T19:05:00.001-08:00

I just made a decision -- been thinking about it for a while but 66 more days until I get to see Meredith! Hey, Kendra--want some Sosa Borella? How many days in a row can a person eat at Shake Shack? Guess we'll see won't we? At the very least I need to try all three locations...

Random Christmas Pictures

2010-02-18T18:57:00.001-08:00

Ang and Jo Jo

Why couldn't he smile like that in our picture?

"And the Angel of the Lord...."

Bells was being so impatient and Bob had to hurry up

the story of the birth of the Savior so that

The Angel could appear early....

What's in a Nickname?

2010-02-18T18:24:00.000-08:00

A couple of weeks ago in Staff Meeting we were given our new "Blogging Policy"-- for real -- my company has one. Basically, I can't "Speak for" the company (duh) and we should be careful about what we say about work (also, duh). Oh, and I had to give my boss my blog address so that he could periodically monitor it. I totally don't care about that because he would be bored after the first three minutes and I think he already knows I'm crazy. During the HR presentation about the new policy they mentioned that it would be good to be careful about what we say about people because "you never know who could be reading your blog". I leaned over to my friend and said, "Or, come up with a nickname like I do". I love me a good nickname. It makes me giddy with delight to think of new names--those I love and those that I may not love. For instance, it makes me sad that I technically shouldn't blog about The Wee One and how much I now admire his great strength especially now after having to lug the shred bag to my desk when I accidentially put something in the bin that I shouldn't have put there. That little dude is freakishly STRONG cause I couldn't even move the bag and he slings them over his shoulder. Or, I wouldn't be able to talk about The Bish and how much I love his guts. He puts me in a fit of tears at least twice a year and last week spent the better part of a couple of days making fun of me to my face. Love The Bish. Mostly, I just love nicknames. I love that my friend Baz has so many fantastic little nicknames. I hope she likes them too but they are all in love. Well, hers are.

I Love People

2010-02-18T18:03:00.000-08:00

I'd like to start out by saying that generally people are probably all quite lovely and kind but lately I've been surrounded by the rest of the population: stupid, nosy, judgy and inconsiderate. I try to keep an open mind and be nice in public but thanks to a situation at the movie theater on Saturday (I'm sure Cali is grateful that I kept my comments mostly to myself during the film--otherwise there would have been a fight) and a story my parents just told me about a dinner situation they just experienced and let's just say if I had been there I would have been arrested for beating the guy to a bloody pulp. Here's the situation...

Bob and Shauna and another couple are at a restaurant having a nice dinner and a great although mostly controversial conversation. At a certain point Shauna could tell that the guy sitting at the table next to them had turned around in his chair and was actively listening to their conversation. Oh, also, he was taking notes. At first she thought it was because he recognized Bob and was some kind of freak so she tried to blow it off but he became more and more obviously obnoxious and eventually tapped Bob on the shoulder and began lecturing them on everything that they had WRONG. He was/is super conservative and sounds quite reactionary and continued to preach to my parents and their friends about how they were wrong and he was right and then proceeded to give Bob his notes because, "I already know this stuff--you need it". Oh, help me Rhonda! Who the hell does that? Who is this random guy who actually didn't recognize Bob and just wanted to help "Save" some incorrect people so that they could come to God. Literally, they would have had to pull me off of him because I would have not been able to contain my rage. Even my sweet, kind, understanding mother was beyond angry at his audacity and insanity and really the fact that he ruined their dinner.

I love people.

Love.

Please...

2010-02-14T18:24:00.000-08:00

This is what I want for my birthday!

I believe it would go beautifully with my

home decor AND the tail wags!

JoBro'd

2010-02-14T13:26:00.001-08:00

I got JoBro'd on Friday...best Valentine's Day card!

New Discovery

2010-02-03T18:52:00.000-08:00

Thanks to my friend Tiffy

I've discovered that water is a lot easier to

consume when laced with caffeinated strawberries.

Two thumbs up for Crystal Light energy drink!

The Birthday Slip-up

2010-02-01T17:26:00.000-08:00

Last week my brother Steve told me that he and Bob were going to Baton Rouge to see my Grandma for her birthday. In NO PART OF THAT CONVERSATION did he mention that it was a SURPRISE. On Friday morning my grandma called to thank me for the flowers I'd had delivered and just to make conversation I asked what time my dad would be arriving. Um...yeah, she didn't know. Um...yeah, I ruined it. Um...yeah, my aunt called my mother and screamed at her because of me.

Auntie: Shauna, blah blah, guess what Angie did...
Shauna: She didn't know it was a surprise. Obviously she wouldn't have said anything if she'd known. I forgot who I told what...
Auntie: That's because you have too many kids! You ruined this and now you have to fix it. I know you hate to lie but you have to fix this...

So, my sweet, innocent, never lies mother had to call Granny and lie lie lie. She told her that they had intended to go for granny's birthday but that tickets were booked and didn't make the flight stand-by. Granny believed her--of course she did--Shauna doesn't lie. Ever.

Whew!

A Thousand Cranes

2010-02-01T17:00:00.000-08:00

My friend Julia is directing a play this week and next week at The Brigham Young. It is based on the children's book Sadako and the Thousand Paper Cranes. It's an incredibly touching true story about a little girl in Japan after the Hiroshima bomb. I'm going on Saturday but I just wanted to give a shout out to anyone who might be interested in doing something different--I complain all the time that the only thing to do in The UC is dinner/movie--this is different. They preview it for two weeks at BYU and then take the play around to elementary schools in the area. I'm super excited for Julia and know it will be incredible. Follow the link for further details!

http://www.byuarts.com/calendar/eventdescription_v2.php?eventid=94.

This is the description from the back of the book...

Hiroshima-born Sadako is lively and athletic--the star of her school's running team. And then the dizzy spells start. Soon gravely ill with leukemia, an aftereffect of the atom bomb that fell on her city when she was only an infant, Sadako approaches her illness as she did her running--with irrepressible spirit. Recalling a Japanese legend, Sadako sets to work folding paper cranes. For the legend holds that if a sick person folds one thousand cranes, the gods will grant her wish and make her healthy again.

Monday Night Dilemma

2010-02-01T16:45:00.000-08:00

I know I watch too much TV but I'm really struggling tonight with which two TV shows to cancel so that I can record the other two that I really want to watch. I haven't had this problem in years. And let's be honest...the two I "cancel" will be ones I can watch on Hulu later this week. Geez, just a few years ago I was shipping VHS tapes all over the country for friends who had missed their shows. God bless TiVo, DVR and the Interwebs. Technology is fabulous!

I know. I know. I have huge problems. I do have a lot of actual problems

but focusing on my "TV problems" helps distract me from the real shiz I'm ignoring.

Shake That Shack

2010-01-15T08:02:00.000-08:00

Last night on Facebook one of my friends commented on the happiness she was receiving while eating her Shake Shack burger and it reminded me that I'd heard from another friend that they were thinking of franchising the Shake Shack. My first thought when I heard was "Wahoo!" but after a moment of careful consideration I began wondering if it would work. Can you duplicate the Shake Shack? Can you transport it to any random U.S. city and have it be the same? I'm thinking no and this is why...

The Shake Shack is about so much more than just the burger, fries and custard. Don't get me wrong: the food is the best burger I've ever put in my mouth and puts that Western phenomenon that has recently made the folks in Utah go Lady GaGa to shame. I'm literally drooling at 8:35 in the morning just thinking about it. The Shake Shack is about the food but it is also and maybe even more importantly about the experience. You would have to re-create a world in which time is money and where fabulous food is certainly in no short supply and where any random New Yorker from all walks of life will go WAY out of their way for the experience. Take me for instance: I would have to take two trains, stand in line for 45 minutes to an hour to ORDER the food and then another 15 minutes to WAIT for the food and then sit in either boiling humid or freezing cold weather to eat the food--there's two months of the year where the weather is perfect and/or not raining cats and dogs. And not only eat it but love every single second and not for even a moment think that it wasn't worth it. A world in which my friend, let's call her Schmether, who I'm guessing has never waited for anything, stood in line for two hours for our food because I'd been lucky to get to the park early enough to beat up five grannies and a couple of kids for our seats at the US Open. Is this a place that can be re-created? They tried on the UWS and it is nice and convenient and all but that's just because everyone who has been there has had the experience at Madison Square Park and so they're okay with the strollers and the kids and the fact that there is nowhere to sit and eat. Plus, there really is something genius about having a Shake Shack and a Magnolia Bakery within ten blocks of one another. But all of that is a rite of passage--something one must go through so that you can appreciate the pure beauty and incredibleness of the burger. I do not believe that this could work in any random city: maybe in Union Square in San Francisco or Chicago or possibly even LA but certainly not Orem, Utah. I guess I'll just have to save my pennies, put on my good standing shoes and fly my butt to New York.

Mom, What's Crack?

2010-01-11T19:31:00.000-08:00

I think I've established that I love to bake and after a year and half of some pretty serious practice I'm pretty good at it. This is especially true of my Kitchen Sink Cookies. Z has lovingly named them "The Crack Cookies" and the word has spread. Now everyone even my family calls them the crack cookies and requests them for every event. Knowing how much everyone (especially Paul) likes my cookies I agreed to make them for Kenzie's blessing luncheon. Here's a replay of a conversation that still makes me giggle out loud and also makes me consider the possibility of re-naming the cookies:

After taking a bite of a cookie:
Adri: Oh, my gosh, Ang! These Crack Cookies are the best you've ever made.
Skyler: Mom, what's crack?

Adri didn't hear him and so the rest of us giggled and Susie jumped in and said:

Susie: Um...that just means...um...that they're...um...REALLY good cookies!

There is NO WAY that She is Your Mother...

2010-01-11T18:59:00.000-08:00

Okay, so let me start off by saying that I think it is FREAKING FANTASTIC that my mom is pretty and that she looks young but when a person such as myself who is definitely struggling with age issues (especially since turning 25 this last birthday) has nearly the same conversation TWICE in the same hour one starts to lose their cool. On Saturday while Shauna and I were spending the day together the following occurred:

#1 Girl Manicurist: are you guys friends?
Angie: No, she's my mom.
Girl Manicurist: There is no WAY she is YOUR mother.
Angie: Yup.
Girl Manicurist: Well, then you MUST be the oldest.
Angie: Deep sigh. Yup.

#2 Stupid Girl: You guys look alike.
Angie: Yup.
Stupid Girl: Are you like sisters?
Angie: No, she's my mom.
Stupid Girl: NO NO NO WAY is she YOUR mother!
Angie: Yeah.
Boy Manicurist: You just made that one lady's day and wrecked the other one's day.
Stupid Girl: Well, I didn't mean...that the other one is old but wow, that lady just looks too young to be HER mother!
Angie: shut up shut up shut up shut up...all in my head.

**And, I think my favorite part was when the manicurist slathered Love Spell all over my hands. I freaking hate Love Spell. It makes me sick to my stomach and I spent the next thirty minutes trying not to vomit because I couldn't wash my hands without messing up my polish.